Breakup and dreams

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Jannatulferdaus

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Dear brothers and sisters,


I'm 17 years old, I went to my home country for a year because my parents wanted me to forget about my ex who I was with on and off for around 5 years, he's my cousin.I understand now that it was a teenage crush. But going to my home country has made me fall in love with my other cousin. I did not have any feelings towards him at first because I was too obsessed with my first love. But after a while, I realised that I started having feelings for him. We started a relationship, he is very religious as is his family. He's a hafiz, 18 years old. We were together for quite a few months, and now I'm completely in love with him. I tried testing his love by getting my ex to make him jealous, and that's when I realised he does love me. A few weeks before my departure, he completely stopped speaking to me out of the blue. I know it is wrong to say, but I think his mum has done something to him, because she always hated us speaking even as cousins. How can he be completely in love with me one day and the next he doesn't even want to speak to me. It became worse and worse until he would swear at me every time he saw me around the house. And now I'm back in the UK, and it's been a couple of months I thought I was over him I've been trying to distract myself but I've been having dreams about him constantly every day. And In all the dreams he hates me, and can't stand me. What does this mean?
 
Assalamu Alaikum

Those are dreams from the nafs since you're obsessed with this guy. Otherwise they are from shaytan and should not be shared. No one is qualified to interpret dreams.

You should get married asap, and if not, then stay away from boys and lower your gaze. Falling in love to play these childish games is not Islamic. Protect your chastity, Allah will reward you greatly for it.
 
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Umm well... Having a premaritial relationship is haram lol. Like charisma said its your nafs thats making you feel like this. What makes you think he loves you? Does he make you a better muslim. Also if he really loved you he wouldnt be all passive agressive like you said he has become. Youre still young at 17 and hes still young at 18. Focus your energy on something else. Yes its normal to develop feelings for the opposite gender but to the extent that you're that preoccupied is not.( im not judging, i mean we've all had crushes but cmon). Also what do you mean by "being together"- like engaged or boyfriend and girlfriend? If its the second then im a bit surpised that a hafidh is dating.
 
Stay away this kind of relationship, is better for you. The boy (hafiz) and his mother have negative view of you.
 
Sis if he really loved you he wouldn't do this...just get over him...I know it's hard...and lower your gaze...protect your beauty...don't let people use you...get closer to Allah...and wait as the one who is meant to come to you will come...[emoji173]
 
I think we were here to help not make fun of ppl...but what I see is completely different
 
aah


i feel lonely.i dont have anyone yet .i am still sad about it...i wish i had someone to stay in dheen...
 
cinnamonrolls1 said:
Imam malik didnt get married till he was 40. Thr prophet pbuh didnt get married till he was 25.
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Provided that someone has control over his 'feelings' , can marry in later phase of his age, otherwise, after the puberty marriage is preferred, especially for girls.
 
Also sister( the og poster) i want to apologise on behalf of the comment i said to ali dawkins when referring to dating cousins. It was totally insensitive, and i regret it now. I hope i didnt cause any offence and i truly wish you all the best sister. [MENTION=42642]Jannatulferdaus[/MENTION]
 
azc said:
Provided that someone has control over his 'feelings' , can marry in later phase of his age, otherwise, after the puberty marriage is preferred, especially for girls.
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Why especially for girls? Not hating just curious
 
cinnamonrolls1 said:
Why especially for girls? Not hating just curious
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If the boys are in a position to support their family, they are also to marry at the earliest.
http://islamweb.net/emainpage/index.php?page=showfatwa&Option=FatwaId&Id=88089

Delaying the marriage of girls in many Muslim countries is something new and contradictory to what Muslims used to do over many centuries. This is because of westernization and the application of man-made laws. This caused a change in understandings and customs within a considerable number of the population, and it is absolutely not permissible to consider the customs and traditions in a given country as the standard by which people abide, and fail to obey the absolute evidences of Shariah.

In some Muslim countries, the marriage for girls has been delayed by many years beyond the age of puberty. This has indeed led to an increase in the removal of the veil from the face, and increased fornication and adultery, as well as the emergence of deviation in conduct and religion among the youth. They had become morally unstable as they lack affection, chastity, and protection their private parts from illegal sexual relations.

By delaying marriage, there is also a reduction in the number of Muslims in the Ummah, and this is contrary to the order of the Prophet )Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam(, as he ordered us to have many children so that the Muslim nation will be greater in number than the previous nations.
 
azc said:
If the boys are in a position to support their family, they are also to marry at the earliest.
http://islamweb.net/emainpage/index.php?page=showfatwa&Option=FatwaId&Id=88089

Delaying the marriage of girls in many Muslim countries is something new and contradictory to what Muslims used to do over many centuries. This is because of westernization and the application of man-made laws. This caused a change in understandings and customs within a considerable number of the population, and it is absolutely not permissible to consider the customs and traditions in a given country as the standard by which people abide, and fail to obey the absolute evidences of Shariah.

In some Muslim countries, the marriage for girls has been delayed by many years beyond the age of puberty. This has indeed led to an increase in the removal of the veil from the face, and increased fornication and adultery, as well as the emergence of deviation in conduct and religion among the youth. They had become morally unstable as they lack affection, chastity, and protection their private parts from illegal sexual relations.

By delaying marriage, there is also a reduction in the number of Muslims in the Ummah, and this is contrary to the order of the Prophet )Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam(, as he ordered us to have many children so that the Muslim nation will be greater in number than the previous nations.
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Hmmm. I get what you mean but i think people should marry when they feel ready to
 

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