Brothers and Sisters I really need help regarding my relationship

ZakariaCilmi said:
I am a Somali muslim guy, Aged 25 years old. I am married with a beautiful wife which I converted to Islam and we have a son together.
Glad to have joined a community where my brothers and sisters and gathered to help each other out.


Brothers and Sisters, I really need help regarding my wife.
We have been in good terms since 29/09/2014, we never argued with each other and we were in good terms with each other. But for some reason things have changed between us after January this year. She began to disobey my orders, talk back at me when I tell her something, even sometimes abuse me by words and sometimes use violence (Push me away or slap me) If we are arguiing. Things have become so messed up that she tells me that she does not love me anymore and I should divorce her. I refuse everytime she tells me that, and she stopped having intercourse with me for almost 5 months now. Brothers and sisters I do not know what to do, if this is the work of Evil eye or Shaitan, I am panicked where I even find myself daydreaming sometimes. I love her and I love my son. Please help me out, I do not know what to do. I searched on google if there is any Quran/Dua to recite inorder to make things for the better good again. But the situation has become worse, that she even tells me to sleep at the couch everynight. She does not allow me to make physical contact with her as well. What should I do?
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Asalaamu Alaikum,

My brother in such situations we need to look at ourselves and our behaviour and actions frst. How do we behave towards our partner? Do we talk gently or do we make orders? Do we start or feul arguments and get angry or do we try and diffuse the situation? Are we dictators in our marriage or are we gentle towards our partners? Do we try and force our partners to change something we do not like or do we use wisdom and tact in the way we approach our partners bad habits? Do we accept that there will always be things we do not like about our partner and similarly things they may not like about us or are we intolerant to their bad habits but tolerant to our own? How is our communication towards one another? Do we take time to listen to our partners feelings and ask her to share how they feel or do we expcet them to approach us about their feelings?

So first and foremost we need to look and reflect at the way we behave and also ask our partners is there anything we can change in the way we are towards them. After that we can look at other things. Sihr (black magic and the effects of shaythan et are always a possibility as one of shaythans greatest achievements are to split up a husband and a wife. So in such a case we should contact a good local Raqi (One who uses Qur'an and Sunnah against Sihr) and at least try to establish whether there is possible Sihr not. If there is then the Raqi will suggest treatment options which you can consider and implement. If not then after making effort to try and work out differences if the problems still persist then the best course of action is to get mediation via a professional who is preferrabley Muslim but if not then any good reliable mediator/counsellor of marriage issues and problems and after taking all of the relevant steps things will get better inshaAllah.

But the main thing is to never give up and persist in trying to resolve your differences and come to common grounds. Most of all ask of Allah especially in the latter part of the night just before Fajr and just before Iftaar to help you in our marriage situation and put pace, blessings and love into your marriage and to help you reslve any problems and issues.

I pray your issues are resolved and may Allah reward you for your patience. Ameen
 
ZakariaCilmi said:
I am a Somali muslim guy, Aged 25 years old. I am married with a beautiful wife which I converted to Islam and we have a son together.
Glad to have joined a community where my brothers and sisters and gathered to help each other out.


Brothers and Sisters, I really need help regarding my wife.
We have been in good terms since 29/09/2014, we never argued with each other and we were in good terms with each other. But for some reason things have changed between us after January this year. She began to disobey my orders, talk back at me when I tell her something, even sometimes abuse me by words and sometimes use violence (Push me away or slap me) If we are arguiing. Things have become so messed up that she tells me that she does not love me anymore and I should divorce her. I refuse everytime she tells me that, and she stopped having intercourse with me for almost 5 months now. Brothers and sisters I do not know what to do, if this is the work of Evil eye or Shaitan, I am panicked where I even find myself daydreaming sometimes. I love her and I love my son. Please help me out, I do not know what to do. I searched on google if there is any Quran/Dua to recite inorder to make things for the better good again. But the situation has become worse, that she even tells me to sleep at the couch everynight. She does not allow me to make physical contact with her as well. What should I do?
Click to expand...

Asalaamu Alaikum,

My brother in such situations we need to look at ourselves and our behaviour and actions frst. How do we behave towards our partner? Do we talk gently or do we make orders? Do we start or feul arguments and get angry or do we try and diffuse the situation? Are we dictators in our marriage or are we gentle towards our partners? Do we try and force our partners to change something we do not like or do we use wisdom and tact in the way we approach our partners bad habits? Do we accept that there will always be things we do not like about our partner and similarly things they may not like about us or are we intolerant to their bad habits but tolerant to our own? How is our communication towards one another? Do we take time to listen to our partners feelings and ask her to share how they feel or do we expcet them to approach us about their feelings?

So first and foremost we need to look and reflect at the way we behave and also ask our partners is there anything we can change in the way we are towards them. After that we can look at other things. Sihr (black magic and the effects of shaythan et are always a possibility as one of shaythans greatest achievements are to split up a husband and a wife. So in such a case we should contact a good local Raqi (One who uses Qur'an and Sunnah against Sihr) and at least try to establish whether there is possible Sihr not. If there is then the Raqi will suggest treatment options which you can consider and implement. If not then after making effort to try and work out differences if the problems still persist then the best course of action is to get mediation via a professional who is preferrabley Muslim but if not then any good reliable mediator/counsellor of marriage issues and problems and after taking all of the relevant steps things will get better inshaAllah.

But the main thing is to never give up and persist in trying to resolve your differences and come to common grounds. Most of all ask of Allah especially in the latter part of the night just before Fajr and just before Iftaar to help you in our marriage situation and put pace, blessings and love into your marriage and to help you reslve any problems and issues.

I pray your issues are resolved and may Allah reward you for your patience. Ameen
 
ZakariaCilmi said:
I am a Somali muslim guy, Aged 25 years old. I am married with a beautiful wife which I converted to Islam and we have a son together.
Glad to have joined a community where my brothers and sisters and gathered to help each other out.


Brothers and Sisters, I really need help regarding my wife.
We have been in good terms since 29/09/2014, we never argued with each other and we were in good terms with each other. But for some reason things have changed between us after January this year. She began to disobey my orders, talk back at me when I tell her something, even sometimes abuse me by words and sometimes use violence (Push me away or slap me) If we are arguiing. Things have become so messed up that she tells me that she does not love me anymore and I should divorce her. I refuse everytime she tells me that, and she stopped having intercourse with me for almost 5 months now. Brothers and sisters I do not know what to do, if this is the work of Evil eye or Shaitan, I am panicked where I even find myself daydreaming sometimes. I love her and I love my son. Please help me out, I do not know what to do. I searched on google if there is any Quran/Dua to recite inorder to make things for the better good again. But the situation has become worse, that she even tells me to sleep at the couch everynight. She does not allow me to make physical contact with her as well. What should I do?
Click to expand...

(I m sorry to post here why Im single)
You can try to understand her body language than talking. Try it from now.and there is a dua to be friendly with you should recite it. Start to recite "Yamani(u)" every night when you go to bed. Insha Allah you will see a change with Allah's help. Zikr is the very good way to escape from the problem.

Marriage is not a term based contract so ,If she fear Allah ! She will understand it.
 
Bobbyflay23 said:
Tbh I feel as if it could be black magic I mean if you didn't do anything and all this stuff and she randomly hated you it just doesn't make sense espically if you live in Somalia because I feel as if in big country's like America there isn't much black magic but in places like a 3rd world country where they are still devolving they do magic and stuff why we'll think about it in history magic was heavily concentrated on until people made electronics so places that are still poor tend to be more spiritual and act just like people did in the olden days and stuff I'm not saying somalias super poor I'm just saying it's a country that is still devolving and in areas like that there's allot more sihr so Idk you should find a raqi or learn ruqya or go to a masjid with your wife or bring a imam from the masjid to do ruqya on her
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what do you mean devolving? the guy probably lives in the states.
 
First of all, give her some respect because women are not slaves. Allah gave them rights. So, treat them friendly and politely.
 

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