Bully advice

[Ayesha Rana]

Re: reversion help, finally some people to talk to!

I've just read the prvious page. May Allah guide him. Nothing will happen to him without Allah's leave.

 

[limitless]

Help!



I had many incidents like this, I am walking in my high school uniform (private school) and these girls (Christians) call me and say "hey, my friend says your hot" and others similar to it. I mean one time, one girl literally grabbed my arm and wouldn't let go of me it was very difficult to get out of that situation, anyone know what should I do when this happens? I don't show my body or anything at all. I cover my body like how a muslim brother is suppose to.

 

[limitless]

Re: Help!



Oh and one more, what are you suppose to do when a girl asks you out for a "date", I mean you generally would say no, but then she says she will commit sucide and etc... . What is a muslim brother suppose to do then? Sorry they may be "stupid" questions but I don't think my mom could help me, and I feel very shy to talk about girls with her or anyone else. And I am shy to talk to girls as well.

 

[Safa]

Re: Help!



You have to explain to them that you are a Muslim and that you are not allowed to date. Generally kids learn to move on or ask someone else on a date afterwards. You just have to do your job. Say no, explain why and don't worry about what they do afterwards. I doubt anyone is going to commit suicide. Try to ignore the comments they make about you, it's not worth getting involved and it'll lead to fitnah.

Being shy is a sign of modesty. But when you come across a situation where you feel you're being taken advantage of, you have to learn to stand up for yourself. Let them know straight up, "I'm sorry, I don't date".

Just be strong, inshaAllah you'll get through it.

 

[limitless]

Re: Help!



Thank you sister, I will try to be stronger next time (inshallah). Yeah lol I get very shy when I am around girls :\ i feel as though I might have a nerveous break down, it's scary sometimes.

 

[Ghazi]

Re: Help!



Beat them off with a stick or dress up taliban style and they'll get rid of them ;D

 

[limitless]

Re: Help!



Lol hahaha, sorry lol, that is funny. Well I will ignore them that is what I should try to do

 

[F.Y.]

Re: Help!

Brother dont worry about them saying 'Im going to commit suicide' - its probably unlikely that they would do so. There are millions of men out there they can choose from.

It is so wonderful to see a strong brother. It will be very satisfying for you to know that you are doing the right thing by refusing girls who ask you out and you will make Allah very happy.

If they start pulling your arm (which I think is very childish) and not letting go, just stand up to them. There is no need to be afraid - they wont do anything. Look them straight in the eye, look serious, lower your voice a little and speak like you mean it, "Let go of me right now." If they dont let go, just pull your arm with all the strength you have - dont worry if they say you hurt them because you already gave them a chance to let go of you and they didnt.
If girls ask you out dont beat around the bush - just say, sorry, I'm a muslim and we dont date. That should be enough. If they ask why, you can go into all the things that result from relationships before marriage.

If they giggle when you walk past just ignore it - look straight ahead and keep walking - they'll get over it.

Hope that helps a bit. Chin up brother, dont be scared of them. They cant do anything to you.

Peace

 

[DigitalStorm82]

Re: Help!

Asalamu Alaikum

sounds like high school all over again lol while all the advice given by the brothers n sisters is true... but, from personal experiences... just say "I got a gf, sorry" and keep walking... that usually worked for me and didnt make me look "gay" lol I dunno perhaps, others can give you better advice.

Islamically...
I just wanna add one thing... if a girl is "throwing" herself at you... and you refuse... You'll be among those who are granted Allah's shade when there will be no other shade.

W'salaamz,
Hamid

 

[aljawaad]

Re: Help!

Oh and one more, what are you suppose to do when a girl asks you out for a "date", I mean you generally would say no, but then she says she will commit sucide and etc... . What is a muslim brother suppose to do then? Sorry they may be "stupid" questions but I don't think my mom could help me, and I feel very shy to talk about girls with her or anyone else. And I am shy to talk to girls as well.

Tell her dats its fine if she commits suicide, den thre'll b one less to worry u.;D
​

 

[Daffodil]

Re: Help!

Asalamu Alaikum

sounds like high school all over again lol while all the advice given by the brothers n sisters is true... but, from personal experiences... just say "I got a gf, sorry" and keep walking... that usually worked for me and didnt make me look "gay" lol I dunno perhaps, others can give you better advice.

Islamically...
I just wanna add one thing... if a girl is "throwing" herself at you... and you refuse... You'll be among those who are granted Allah's shade when there will be no other shade.

W'salaamz,
Hamid

Asalamulaikum

I totaly disagree with what this brother sed. Defo dnt tell em u already have a girlfriend because what kind of impression are u giving to them about muslims. this is a wonderful dawah oportunity for u. tell them ur muslim and therefore dnt date, if they ask why, go into the reasons about why its haram such as the Allah swt and the prophet saw forbade it n u have to obey ur creator. Also its haram to lie so by telling them u already have a girlfriend u wud be lying, and one lie always leads to another lie and so on. Also Allah swt may ask u on the day of judgment "when u had the opportunity to giv dawah, u didnt do but instead u lied" Brother just tell em strate, ur muslim n dnt date, dnt make up lies.

Asalamulaikum

 

[waji]

Re: Help!



Brother first u must pray to Allah, u will get the best help insha'Allah
now if ur beard is coming then keep it
if in ur high school there are other good muslims then try to move with them don't hesitate wether they r younger or elder then u
about date be a man straight away say No whats the big deal

May Allah Help u Ameen

 

[limitless]

Re: Help!



Thank you everyone, all sisters and brothers for the advice . I really apperiate it, and well it just helps me to maintain my faith in Allah strong, and keep the flames burning . Many muslim brothers I know are in that "gf" relationship when I warn them it is against islam, they call me names and label me, it just saddness me that they ignore islamic rules. Thank you all again.

 

[- Qatada -]

Re: Help!

:wasalamex


Brother, this may be your chance to tell them that you 'fear Allaah.'

The Prophet of Allaah (peace be upon him) said:

There are seven whom Allaah will shade in His Shade on the Day when there is no shade except His Shade: a just ruler; a youth who grew up in the worship of Allaah, the Mighty and Majestic; a man whose heart is attached to the mosques; two men who love each other for Allaah's sake, meeting for that and parting upon that; a man who is called by a woman of beauty and position [for illegal intercourse], but he says: 'I fear Allaah', a man who gives in charity and hides it, such that his left hand does not know what his right hand gives in charity; and a man who remembered Allaah in private and so his eyes shed tears.' Narrated by Abu Hurairah (r.a) & collected in Saheeh al-Bukhari (english trans.) vol.1, p.356, no.629 & Saheeh Muslim (english trans.) vol.2, p.493, no.2248


5. 'A man who is called by a woman of beauty and position but he says: 'I fear Allaah...'

This world is full of temptations which lead to burning in the Fire and amongst them is that which comes from women. Many a man has led his soul into destruction on account of the lure of a woman which is why the Prophet warned his Ummah specifically about this. He said, 'The world is sweet and green and verily Allaah is going to install you as successors upon it in order to see how you act. So avoid the allurement of women: verily the first trial for the Children of Israa'eel was caused by women.' Narrated by Aboo Sa'eed al-Khudree & collected in Saheeh Muslim (eng. trans.) vol.4, p.1432, no.6606

The most important provision which we need to protect ourselves from this and all other temptations in life is the fear (khawf) of Allaah. This fact is alluded to in the following Qur'aanic Aayah:


'And as for him who feared standing before his Lord and restrained himself from impure evil desires, verily Paradise will be his abode.' [Soorah an- Naazi'aat (79):40 1].


source: http://www.jannah.org/articles/intheshade.html

I don't know if this will apply though.. Allaahu ta'aala a'lam (Allaah Almighty knows best.) But you may get rewarded alot for it insha'Allaah because our beloved Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) did say:

"After me I have not left any fitnah (temptation/trial) more harmful to men than women." [Sahih Bukhari Volume 7, Book 62, Number 33]


Allaahu ta'aala a'lam. (Allaah Almighty knows best.


:salamext:

 

[Fishman]

Re: reversion help, finally some people to talk to!

Me too, I think he may have been banned even from coming to this site, though I hope not :-\

!
It's great to be back!!!
Yes, I was banned from the internet because I was talking to people secretly. They want me to cut down on the amount of time I use the web, because they think I've become isolated from my family. I've had quite a hard time recently. My parents' shock has largely worn off now, but they still make rather scathing remarks whenever I tell them about something that I'm not allowed to do, such as the thing about dogs.
I've been to an Islamic foundation site, and talked to an Irish Muslim revert. She told me that music was not harram, but as scentsofJannah said, it depends on the lyrics. She bought me a load of books, as well as a translation of the Quran and a prayer mat.
Most of my friends at school know now, except for two of them who won't take anything seriously.

My dad says the practice of dangerous sports hasn't increased since the time of Muhammad (pbuh). Have you got any figures about this, to prove this prophecy?

Insha'Allaah I will say Shahadah soon!

 

[Nafiisah]

Re: reversion help, finally some people to talk to!

Wa 3alaikum salaam wa rehamatullahi wa barakaatuhu brother
May Allah help u in ur endeavour
Aameen.

 

[glo]

Re: reversion help, finally some people to talk to!

Good to have you back, Fishman! We were worried ...

 

[umm_amina04]

Re: Help!

Assalamu Alaikum, brother it just sounds like shaitaan is trying to cast doubts in your mind. Pray to Allah (swt) and seek his guidance in everything you do as this is much better than a person's opinion. Also know that in islam obviously dating a girl or a boy for any muslim is haraam and also having a girlfriend or boyfriend. So we should abstain from it, if they are threatening to commit suicide then that is from shaitaan putting these ideas in their minds. Allah is who we listen to and take orders from, not shaitaan. So my adivce make lot's of du'a to Allah (swt) to keep this fitnah away from you and try to build your iman so that you will become stronger in your deen to please Allah (swt) and by doing this you'll also be pleasing our beloved prophet (pbuh)

wa alaikum assalam
umm amina

 

[Fishman]

Re: reversion help, finally some people to talk to!

Great to see you back !



Insha'Allah it will become easier.

When you say talking secretly you mean the people of LI, right? If not who is/are the unfortunate girl/s

In any case I can emphasise with your families concern abour being isolated from family, no matter what, I think you should keep the bond strong.



So what were your brother and fathers original reactions - did they tie you to a totem pole and ask the general public to throw eggs at you?

<sorry>



As far as I know music is haraam completely...there are quite a few threads about - I'll try look them up for you later...



Go into school wearing the islamic dress, that should open their eyes!



Actually, this is the first time I have heard of this prophecy... but I hope some one more knowledgable than me can answer this...



Insha'Allah

Yeah, I meant the LI people.

Well, they were constantly telling me that religion is illogical nonsense, and trying to disprove the things that lead me into Islam. They got very angry when I started saying 'we' when refering to Muslims, because they think it causes division within humanity. They were mainly shocked that I felt that I couldn't tell them, and went to some people on the internet for help instead of talking to them.

these two people are the alien guy (since I stopped arguing with him he stopped going on about aliens) and the guy who makes stupid communism jokes all the time. The former constantly blasphemes, claims to be God, and really hates religion in general. The latter constantly tries to strangle me, saying 'tell me your secret'. If he stops bugging me like this I'll tell him.

Islamic dress (except for headscarves and possibly kufis) is against school uniform.

I found out that there used to be a system to allow Muslims to pray at school, but when people started taking advantage of it and using it to skip lessons, they stopped it. There's now nowhere to pray.

 

[lolwatever]

Re: reversion help, finally some people to talk to!

salams bro Fishman, mate keep it up, you remind us of the youth that the prophet described to us who use to practise Islam in secret and go thorugh hardship all for the sake of Allah.

Remember this world is a temporary testing ground.. keep that in mind and everything will become futile compared to the reward you're gonna get in the hereafter.

im pretty sure somone's already said wat i said in this thread lol, but yeh no harm in reminders hehe

Also keep your cool with the parents and always do your best to speak to them in the best manner, even if they show hostility towards ya... alot of hte companion sof the prophet, their parents and entire families where non Muslim and they persecuted them and gave them all sorts of hell and torture, and they where the best example on how to deal with parents and foes as far as preaching Islam and behaviour is concerned.

Ofocurse if a non relative attacks you then you got all the right in the world to defend yourself.

All the best!!