Bully advice

[Fishman]

Re: reversion help, finally some people to talk to!

I can understand why your parents would hold such a view, with them being athiests. But in islam we are taught to love one another for the sake of Allah, whether that person is from the same race or not it does not make a difference, people are all equal regardless of race. In a sense there is no such thing as racism or nationalism then. Which for me is a very powerful and profound concept. Looking at the Hajj pilgrimage, where upwards of a million I believe gather every year in unity with one purpose, to pray. People of different nationalities, race colour age all pray together wearing the same garments so as to not differentiate rich from poor. Does that no leave you in awe? when we read Namaaz in mosques, we stand side by side and prostrate to our lord, in unity, again regardless of race/social class/intelligence.

So to say that Islam causes division is quite fallacious, as perhaps it is the only religion that has pragmatic steps <see sig > towards eradicating division amongst mankind.

No, it's not about racism or nationalism, it's because I decided to talk to some people who I didn't know instead of my own parents.

 

[Fishman]

Re: reversion help, finally some people to talk to!

Whooops, I quoted the wrong text in my last post - has been edited now

They know Islam tries to unite Muslims, but they say religion causes people to divide and ultimately hate people from other religions.

 

[Malaikah]

Re: Help!



Maybe you should grow a beard (if you are able to and dont already have one), nice big one.. umm i dont think western girls generally like beards, or they think its unusual or something.. er but you might be too young for that. be like this bro here: :brother: if you can lol

i dont think that helped lol but its the first thing that came to my mind:rollseyes

 

[seeker_of_ilm]

Re: Help!



Aye, a beard usually helps.

 

[Fishman]

Re: reversion help, finally some people to talk to!


How do I pray in school? As I said before, there's no arrangement anymore.

 

[glo]

Re: reversion help, finally some people to talk to!

I've been to an Islamic foundation site, and talked to an Irish Muslim revert. She told me that music was not harram, but as scentsofJannah said, it depends on the lyrics.

There were a couple of threads on this topic since you've been away, which seem to say otherwise:
http://www.islamicboard.com/islamic-jurisprudence/23076-music-haram.html?highlight=music (short on with other links)
http://www.islamicboard.com/general-chat/22297-when-how-did-you-give-up-music.html?highlight=music (this one's long!)

Hope this helps.

 

[limitless]

Re: Help!



Jazakallah for all your great responses, but about the beard part, well, they find that very attractive, well in my city they do they say it is "very sexy". So I doubt I am able to do that because it draws more attention to me than when I don't have a beard at all.

 

[Fishman]

Re: Help!


At my school loads of jerks say they fancy me (even other boys)! They probably don't mean it, and are just trying to tease you. But if they do actually mean it, just tell them that in 'my religion' we're not allowed to date.

 

[Ghazi]

Re: Help!

At my school loads of jerks say they fancy me (even other boys)! They probably don't mean it, and are just trying to tease you. But if they do actually mean it, just tell them that in 'my religion' we're not allowed to date.

Subhanallah what sort of school do you go to bro.

 

[Fishman]

Re: Help!

Subhanallah what sort of school do you go to bro.

A secondary school in Britain. Not an Islamic one, as you probably guessed.

 

[*LJ*]

Re: reversion help, finally some people to talk to!

Asalamu alaikum brother,

It was amazing to hear your story alhamdulillah, I am a Muslim revert too and my parents are still getting used to the idea.

One thing I wanted to say was that even though you haven't taken shahadah yet (unless i missed something, didn't read the whole thread sorry) I think you are still allowed to call yourself a Muslim, you seem like a Muslim in your heart (and Allah (swt) knows best).

About praying, I think just try to find an empty room or something which you can use to pray and try to get the other Muslims at your school to pray with you inshaAllah, or go to a mosque if there is one close enough.

About music, I recommend those threads posted by Glo ^^. There are different views on music, I personally try to avoid it and Allah knows best.

I find it so hard to be open with my parents, but I think its very important to do this because in Islam we are taught to show SO much respect for our parents. May Allah help us both and anyone else in our situation with this inshaAllah.

I pray that Allah makes things easy for you and all of us and sends us to Jannah, ameen

Salam, LJ

 

[Chuck]

Re: reversion help, finally some people to talk to!

Salam bro,

If not with words, but with your behavior you convey your parents that you have made the right decision. My conversion to Islam became visible with my behavior with my parents and others around me, and mother saw it as a good change. Something that made for her my conversion easier to understand and accept.

w'salam

 

[Dawud_uk]

Re: reversion help, finally some people to talk to!

assalaamu alaykum fishman,

praise be to Allah for granting you an understanding of islam at such a young age, i also used to be a curious bookworm of a youngster, fortunetely for me i was big enough that no one would dare pick on me for reading books and spending my lunch times in the library.

i am a revert also, i live in sheffield which is just up the road and my sister and many friends live in nottingham so i know it a little bit.

dealing with parents is often difficult, but try to be patient with them. but also dont be affraid to walk out of the room if things are getting too much for you.

dont raise your voice to your parents, Allah specificially forbids this so if the argument gets too heated take a walk.

Allah willing things will get easier with time and your family get a chance to meet more muslims. i have been involved with the new muslim project almost since i embraced islam and i would recommend you get in touch. they tend to be non-partisan, respecting differences of opinion so they are a good starting point on learning about islam.

if you want i am happy to come down to nottingham and introduce you to the brothers in the new muslim project i know down there and also if you want speak to your family, sometimes it helps to have someone with a little more experience talk to them.

families can be funny sometimes, the ones you expect to be fine with it go completely nuts and those you expect to go nuts seem indifferent to you finding a new faith.

take care brother and we are all here for you,

assalaamu alaykum,

Daw'ud

 

[Fishman]

Re: reversion help, finally some people to talk to!

assalaamu alaykum fishman,

praise be to Allah for granting you an understanding of islam at such a young age, i also used to be a curious bookworm of a youngster, fortunetely for me i was big enough that no one would dare pick on me for reading books and spending my lunch times in the library.

i am a revert also, i live in sheffield which is just up the road and my sister and many friends live in nottingham so i know it a little bit.

dealing with parents is often difficult, but try to be patient with them. but also dont be affraid to walk out of the room if things are getting too much for you.

dont raise your voice to your parents, Allah specificially forbids this so if the argument gets too heated take a walk.

Allah willing things will get easier with time and your family get a chance to meet more muslims. i have been involved with the new muslim project almost since i embraced islam and i would recommend you get in touch. they tend to be non-partisan, respecting differences of opinion so they are a good starting point on learning about islam.

if you want i am happy to come down to nottingham and introduce you to the brothers in the new muslim project i know down there and also if you want speak to your family, sometimes it helps to have someone with a little more experience talk to them.

families can be funny sometimes, the ones you expect to be fine with it go completely nuts and those you expect to go nuts seem indifferent to you finding a new faith.

take care brother and we are all here for you,

assalaamu alaykum,

Daw'ud

I don't often go to the libary much anymore, I get most of my information from the web these days. It's like a libary, but has much more stuff in it.

I don't normally have heated arguments with my parents, fortunately. But they don't like me taking walks when I'm talking to them.

Yes, I'm in touch with the new Muslims project too, I went to the Islamic foundation centre in Leicestershire.

Unfortunately, I can't get in touch with you personally, because my dad doesn't like the internet because of the dangers that everyone knows about these days.

Well, everyone's reaction has pretty much turned out as I expected, really. My brother thinks its odd, my mum was kinda shocked, and my dad got even more shocked.

Has anyone got any information to prove to my dad that pork is bad for you? It must be from a very reliable journal, otherwise my dad would just reject it.

 

[F.Y.]

Re: reversion help, finally some people to talk to!

Salam Fishman
About praying - find a spare room, or a spare corner. Make wudu at home or you can make wudu in the showers if your school has them.
Or doing wudu in the boys bathroom is OK - just watch your clothes coz those places can be filthy. It might be a good dawah giving opportunity too!
Umm, take a prayer mat with you and a compass. Find the direction of Kabah, and you can pray.
Maybe you can ask your R.E. teacher, seeing as he has been so helpful, to arrange a room for you - or if he knows anywhere you can pray. Give him the times you will be using the room - so they take you seriously and know you are not going in there to mess around. Show him a mosque timetable or something if you want.

You will feel wonderful when you pray- so close to Allah. May Allah make it easy for you!
Peace

 

[Dawud_uk]

Re: reversion help, finally some people to talk to!

I don't often go to the libary much anymore, I get most of my information from the web these days. It's like a libary, but has much more stuff in it.

I don't normally have heated arguments with my parents, fortunately. But they don't like me taking walks when I'm talking to them.

Yes, I'm in touch with the new Muslims project too, I went to the Islamic foundation centre in Leicestershire.

Unfortunately, I can't get in touch with you personally, because my dad doesn't like the internet because of the dangers that everyone knows about these days.

Well, everyone's reaction has pretty much turned out as I expected, really. My brother thinks its odd, my mum was kinda shocked, and my dad got even more shocked.

Has anyone got any information to prove to my dad that pork is bad for you? It must be from a very reliable journal, otherwise my dad would just reject it.

assalaamu alaykum fishman,

if you are in touch with NMP that is good, sister batool will insha'allah make sure you get looked after.

Give my salaams to Hamza and Adam ibn Bob at NMP - notts please?

your families reaction isnt too bad, some take it much worse so take the positive from that.

on pork, you are perhaps arguing in the wrong manner...
tell him you dont eat because first of all Allah commands the believers not to. any health reasons is 2ndary. hope that helps.

assalaamu alaykum,
Daw'ud

 

[Chuck]

Re: reversion help, finally some people to talk to!

on pork, you are perhaps arguing in the wrong manner...
tell him you dont eat because first of all Allah commands the believers not to. any health reasons is 2ndary.

I second that.

Has anyone got any information to prove to my dad that pork is bad for you?

Something that might help (go to a library and check the sources first): http://forums.understanding-islam.org/community/showthread.php?t=366

 

[Fishman]

Re: reversion help, finally some people to talk to!

assalaamu alaykum fishman,

if you are in touch with NMP that is good, sister batool will insha'allah make sure you get looked after.

Give my salaams to Hamza and Adam ibn Bob at NMP - notts please?

your families reaction isnt too bad, some take it much worse so take the positive from that.

on pork, you are perhaps arguing in the wrong manner...
tell him you dont eat because first of all Allah commands the believers not to. any health reasons is 2ndary. hope that helps.

assalaamu alaykum,
Daw'ud

I've met sister Batool before, but not Hamza and Adam though. Who are they?

I think it's rather bad considering they are atheists. Prior to my experience with them I thought that atheists were largely free of religious dogma, as they keep claiming to be. I was never like them when I was an atheist, if my child chose to become religious, I would have let them, not make them wait 'till the're sixteen.

If Allah prohibits something, there's always a good reason for it, right? And you can't just say to an atheist 'I do it because God told me to', because they will tell you that it's completely illogical. If you give them a good scientific reason, they will either accept that reason, or not understand it (which happens quite a lot when talking about pictures and music).
I know dog saliva can give you cysts the size of grapefuits anyway. If I get the chance, I will, Insha'Allaah, test dog and cat hair and saliva to prove that dogs are unclean.

All the times I've tried to do wudu I've either had to take most of my clothes off or get them all wet. Am I supposed to wash my lower legs? And I find cleaning my nose out with water painful, prehaps something to do with having polyps up there.

There are no towels in school. How do I dry my feet after washing them?

My parents have an adversion to me calling myself a Muslim, and keep telling me that I'm not converting, and that I'm just interested in the Muslim faith. I'm also worried that they'll try to take me to some anti-Islam place, and try to give me 'the other side of the arguement'.

 

[glo]

Re: reversion help, finally some people to talk to!

I think it's rather bad considering they are atheists. Prior to my experience with them I thought that atheists were largely free of religious dogma, as they keep claiming to be. I was never like them when I was an atheist, if my child chose to become religious, I would have let them, not make them wait 'till the're sixteen.

I am speaking as a mother myself here.
Much as most parents want their children to grow up to be independent and lead their own lives, it is very hard to come to terms with it when your children make life choices that go very much against your own beliefs and values.
Remember that as much as you are convinced that Islam is the right way for you, your parents are convinced that 'no God/religion' is the right way for them ... and also for you.
My guess is that they fear you will be indoctrinated and 'brainwashed' by your new religion ... :rollseyes

Clearly you strongly object to that, but remember that your parents love you and want what (they think is) best for you. And, I guess, they are right ... until you are 16 they have parental responsibility for you!

Have they asked you to wait with your formal conversion until you are 16?
If so, will you obey them and prove to them that you are really serious about your faith? I think that would be the right thing to do!

If Allah prohibits something, there's always a good reason for it, right? And you can't just say to an atheist 'I do it because God told me to', because they will tell you that it's completely illogical.

Personally I think sometimes we do things for no other reason than 'because God requires us to do it'. It's called faith!
You will probably find that your religion requires you to do many things, which don't necessarily 'make sense' in a scientific way. Instead you do them, because the Qur'an tells you to, or Muhammed lived that way. I don't think that makes it wrong ... it is part of religious living.

And I find cleaning my nose out with water painful, prehaps something to do with having polyps up there.

Can you use warm, slightly salty water? ... that might make it more comfortable.

My parents have an adversion to me calling myself a Muslim, and keep telling me that I'm not converting, and that I'm just interested in the Muslim faith. I'm also worried that they'll try to take me to some anti-Islam place, and try to give me 'the other side of the arguement'.

Trust in God, and trust your own faith!

Peace, Fishman!

 

[Fishman]

Re: reversion help, finally some people to talk to!

I am speaking as a mother myself here.
Much as most parents want their children to grow up to be independent and lead their own lives, it is very hard to come to terms with it when your children make life choices that go very much against your own beliefs and values.
Remember that as much as you are convinced that Islam is the right way for you, your parents are convinced that 'no God/religion' is the right way for them ... and also for you.
My guess is that they fear you will be indoctrinated and 'brainwashed' by your new religion ... :rollseyes

Clearly you strongly object to that, but remember that your parents love you and want what (they think is) best for you. And, I guess, they are right ... until you are 16 they have parental responsibility for you!

Have they asked you to wait with your formal conversion until you are 16?
If so, will you obey them and prove to them that you are really serious about your faith? I think that would be the right thing to do!


Personally I think sometimes we do things for no other reason than 'because God requires us to do it'. It's called faith!
You will probably find that your religion requires you to do many things, which don't necessarily 'make sense' in a scientific way. Instead you do them, because the Qur'an tells you to, or Muhammed lived that way. I don't think that makes it wrong ... it is part of religious living.


Can you use warm, slightly salty water? ... that might make it more comfortable.


Trust in God, and trust your own faith!

Peace, Fishman!

At least I'm not becoming a scientologist! My mum said she would definitely say no to crazy stuff like that. Mind you, I would as well!
I think they do think I'm being indoctrinated or brainwashed.

The thing is that with Islam, I must say my shahadah, because if I die without saying it I'm in trouble. Islam doesn't view humans as the children of God (although Allah is kind to the righteous), it views humans as the slaves of God. I find that this way of thinking makes more sense, because it explains the existance of Hell, and why Allah punishes wrongdoers. It also means that the purpose of a Muslim's life is to completely submit to Allah and serve him, and if he/she doesn't, they won't get as good an afterlife as they wish. I find it very hard to leave my Shahadah until I'm sixteen.

I know there are some things which we must just accept through faith, but atheists don't think that faith is a good reason, and will just badmouth your fiath if you tell them that.
There are a number of things in Islam which Muslims believe in through their faith that the Quran is true, such as the Jinn. Whilst there are a number of unexplainable ghost sightings and other very questionable evidences, most believe in them only because they believe the Quran is a true revelation.