Do u know what, im no longer bothered. here i am wasting my time over a guy who i shouldnt have even been involved with in the first place. i know this dunya is temporary so i should be spending my time doing what Allah SWT has sent us to do, worship Him and prepare for the Hereafter. Whatever's meant to happen will happen, i just need to remain focused on my Eaman and remember the real purpose of this life. i mean when and IF i do live to get married whats my future hasband going to think when he hears i was pining after another man. astagfirulla. and as for going back to uni, and these so called friends im worried about, Allah SWT has trully given me a blessing. its haram 4 me to be friends with these guys anyway so in actual fact i am really benefiting but sometimes i just fail to see it. and in regards to the EX, i had a lucky escape, if i was still with him i would have been living haraam and not practicising now. who knows if we will live to see tmro, and astagfirulla i would have died commiting a BIG sin. I KNOW that i have come out the better person, Allah SWT has given me a better way, i just need to start appreciating it.
when i go back, im just going to put my head down inshallah, stay away from the IN crowd, and if i see him i will lower my gaze and not give him the time of the day. cuz of him i messed up my exams, and when i go back i am going to work so hard inshallah that i come out with a 1st in my degree!!!
i know Allah SWT has saved me from so much haraam and sin, i was living in such a haram way, alhamdulilah i do feel blessed