Can a Muslim be attracted to a persons Din and Intellect without meeting them?

[bluebell]

there should be some sort of attraction between the two, but that doesnt mean they have to be really beautiful.

 

[Cabdullahi]

True, and they may as well be more than a minority. Allah know best.

Lets put it this way some guys are very visual...they scrutinize the aesthetics of something, whereas women look at other things first (personality blah blah blah) before considering the aesthetics but this has been recently changing....so nowadays its more about whoever has the biggest biceps is the best this notion is mainly prevalent within the younger girls...the teens, but the older women are much more intelligent than that they look at the long term because the bicep will deflate one day....so their notion is : if the guy has a big wallet he's off the chain! irrespective of how he looks

 

[Asiyah3]

Lets put it this way some guys are very visual...they scrutinize the aesthetics of something, whereas women look at other things first (personality blah blah blah) before considering the aesthetics but this has been recently changing....so nowadays its more about whoever has the biggest biceps is the best.

Yup. But I think a guy's wealth / 'high' education e.g. M.D. can partly compensate the lack of a good appearance.

We're generalizing too much though.

 

[Cabdullahi]

Yup. But I think a guy's wealth / 'high' education e.g. M.D. can partly compensate the lack of a good appearance.

We're generalizing too much though.

You must be an older woman according to my theory of attraction


the theory states :

Older women are much more intelligent than that they look towards the long term because the bicep will deflate one day....so their notion is : if the guy has a big wallet he's off the chain! irrespective of how he looks.

 

[serena77]

just to throw a different way of things into the mix.....
(keep in mind... i'm not reverted yet... when I say this...please )

I have met many people online... some of those.... were dating relationships... others just dear dear friends. Often times I have dated people that i didnt meet in person first ( when I say often i can count it on one hand... thats my definition of often.. and i'm 33 ) .... The people I met online were the same online as off... as i believe i am. While i may not use ... in my conversations... the pauses are there. I don't make up some personality to "be" online that isnt me... though i do know a few who do. Its always bothered me that while i'm not barbie.... i'm also in pretty decent shape... just not the classic beauty.... I have always liked meeting people online because it does let others get to "know" me before judging my looks.... or if they've seen my online pics on social network sites..... then they don't have to message me if the physical is that important. Ive never let the physical appearance be all that important. However..... let me catch you lying to me and its end game. No matter what you look like.

That is one thing that would be odd to me if i revert. I don't date a lot... never casual dating.... but not dating at all to me would be a very different experience.
Salaam
Serena

 

[Asiyah3]

You must be an older woman according to my theory of attraction


the theory states :

My theory is different. It's not dependent on age:

Those who's goal in life is to attain the pleasure of Allah, want to marriage a person who'll lead them closer to Islam and they follow the advice of the Prophet SAAS to look at the person's religious commitment and character first. Then appearance, education and other factors according to her wishes.

Those who seek the life of this world want a good-looking, stylish, romantic etc. according to her wishes.

 

[Cabdullahi]

My theory is different. It's not dependent on age:

Those who's goal in life is to attain the pleasure of Allah, want to marriage a person who'll lead them closer to Islam and they follow the advice of the Prophet SAAS to look at the person's religious commitment and character first. Then appearance, education and other factors according to her wishes.

Those who seek the life of this world want a good-looking, stylish, romantic etc. according to her wishes.

Thats the ultimate theory...masha'Allah but you've contradicted yourself....in your previous post you've used the keyword 'wealth' and you said it compensates...in other words if you are ugly it becomes the ultimate substitute......so for you an ugly person would look beautiful if they were wealthy.....that's dangerous!

Whats going on?




I'm just kidding

 

[PouringRain]

Abdullahii, your theory of attraction is only partially correct. Cross cultural research shows that women (in general) seek out status and financial security regardless of the age of the woman. Whereas men seek women for their looks and youth.

These are, of course, generalizations.... based upon research.

 

[sabr*]

just to throw a different way of things into the mix.....
(keep in mind... i'm not reverted yet... when I say this...please )

I have met many people online... some of those.... were dating relationships... others just dear dear friends. Often times I have dated people that i didnt meet in person first ( when I say often i can count it on one hand... thats my definition of often.. and i'm 33 ) .... The people I met online were the same online as off... as i believe i am. While i may not use ... in my conversations... the pauses are there. I don't make up some personality to "be" online that isnt me... though i do know a few who do. Its always bothered me that while i'm not barbie.... i'm also in pretty decent shape... just not the classic beauty.... I have always liked meeting people online because it does let others get to "know" me before judging my looks.... or if they've seen my online pics on social network sites..... then they don't have to message me if the physical is that important. Ive never let the physical appearance be all that important. However..... let me catch you lying to me and its end game. No matter what you look like.

That is one thing that would be odd to me if i revert. I don't date a lot... never casual dating.... but not dating at all to me would be a very different experience.
Salaam
Serena

Peace to you serena:

The dating aspect or component in the Western society isn't established to protect the rights and honor of women. In Islam if the man is serious about establishing a maritial bond he has some steps to climb.

The promiscuity element is eliminated from establishing a relationship in Islam.

Not implying that anyone who isn't a Muslim is promiscuous.

The dating tag in the West includes many times a sexual bond. I have never meet a non Muslim who identified their mate as dating (Boyfriend or Girlfriend) that was non sexual. Very rare in the West.

 

[sabr*]

My theory is different. It's not dependent on age:

Those who's goal in life is to attain the pleasure of Allah, want to marriage a person who'll lead them closer to Islam and they follow the advice of the Prophet

to look at the person's religious commitment and character first. Then appearance, education and other factors according to her wishes.



Those who seek the life of this world want a good-looking, stylish, romantic etc. according to her wishes.

As-Salāmu `Alaykum (السلام عليكم):

Ukhti Runaway:

every single practicing Muslimin doesn't seek the life of this world because they seek a zawjah that isn't unattractive. The Nabi Muhammad (

) provides the guidance that appearance is a quality that can be used. I follow that guidance not societies standards.

Sahih Bukhari Volume 7, Book 62, Number 27: ​

Narrated Abu Huraira: ​

The Prophet (

) said, "A woman is married for four things, i.e., her wealth, her family status, her beauty and her religion. So you should marry the religious woman (otherwise) you will be a losers. ​

Jazakumullahu Khair​

 

[Asiyah3]

Ukhti Runaway:

every single practicing Muslimin doesn't seek the life of this world because they seek a zawjah that isn't unattractive. The Nabi Muhammad (

) provides the guidance that appearance is a quality that can be used. I follow that guidance not societies standards.

I'm sorry if I made it sound like people shouldn't marry for the sake of beauty. I meant that people should consider religious-commitment too. Some Muslim women marry men who don't even pray na'udhubillah. I'm not saying they shouldn't marry a guy because of his appearance, but they should consider his religious-commitment too to a certain extent (at least praying).

 

[sabr*]

As-Salāmu `Alaykum (السلام عليكم):

Ukhti Runaway:​

when time permits read the hadith from Sahih Bukhari. The guidance is to marry one with faith. Just take the time before replying and read at least five times the hadith. We get so caught up in giving our opinions and discount the dalil that may support those opinions. Stop! Read! Reflect!

Sahih Bukhari Volume 7, Book 62, Number 27: ​

Narrated Abu Huraira:
The Prophet (

) said, "A woman is married for four things, i.e., her wealth, her family status, her beauty and her religion.
So you should marry the religious woman (otherwise) you will be a losers. ​

Jazakumullahu Khair​

 

[sabr*]

there should be some sort of attraction between the two, but that doesnt mean they have to be really beautiful.

As-Salāmu `Alaykum (السلام عليكم):

Ukhti bluebell:

The criteria for beauty is defined differently depending upon region, culture, social status and spiritual foundation.

The practicing Muslim should be guided by Islam. Insha Allah

Allah defines beauty and ugliness in the Quran.

But the word ugliness is قَبِيْحة - Qabeeha - Ugly. It is implied in the following ayah. Being free from ugliness, fault or blimish.

Surah As Safaat 37:49

كَأَنَّهُنَّ بَيْضٌ مَّكْنُونٌ (37:49)
​

Kaannahunna baydun maknoonun

[FONT=Verdana,Arial]37:49 [as free of faults] as if they were hidden [ostrich] eggs.
[FONT=Verdana,Arial](Asad translation)[/FONT]

Jazakumullahu Khair​

[/FONT]​

​

 

[sabr*]

As-Salāmu `Alaykum (السلام عليكم):


What we strive to practice to keep our din attractive:

Sahih Bukhari Volume 9, Book 92, Number 391:

Narrated Abu Huraira:

The Prophet said, "Leave me as I leave you) for the people who were before you were ruined because of their questions and their differences over their prophets. So, if I forbid you to do something, then keep away from it. And if I order you to do something, then do of it as much as you can."

Sahih Bukhari Volume 9, Book 92, Number 377:

Narrated Abdullah bin Dinar:

'Abdullah Bin 'Umar wrote to 'Abdul Malik bin Marwan, swearing allegiance to him: 'I swear allegiance to you in that I will listen and obey what is in accordance with the Laws of Allah and the Tradition of His Apostle as much as I can.'

 

[gohar98]

Well I don`t see why we can`t be attracted. It`s a nice issue.