can feelings change....

Some loves do last forever...

One time, the wives of the Prophet (sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam) sent a complaint against A'isha (radi Allahu anhu) through their envoy Fatima (radi
Allahu anhu.) They wondered why he loved her so much. When A'isha related the hadith, she said that Fatima entered the room when the Prophet and A'isha were lying together. Fatima complained and then the Prophet? said, "They're asking you to be the daughter of Ibn abi kuhaafa." A'isha (r.a.) just stayed quiet. Then the Prophet asked, "Don't you love what I love?" and Fatima replied, "Yes." So he said, "Then just love her." - (Muslim)
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We can't stop and force to love someone. And we can't force or tell people to stop remembering the ones that he/she loves.

Bareerah was a female slave and A'isha was interested in buying her. She was married to Mugheer, and Ai'sha freed her (they were married in slavery); a free woman cannot marry a slave man, so after she became free, she had the choice to keep this marriage or to ask for the dissolvent of the marriage. She said, "Alhamdulillah, I'm tired of this marriage, I'm going to get out." Mugheer loved her so much, sincerely and honestly. After she left him, he couldn't take it, so he went in public weeping, chasing her, asking her "Ya Bareera just look at me or talk to me." He went to sahaba and said, "Please talk to her for me (to Abu Bakr and Umar and at the end, even to the Prophet (salAllahu alayhi wassalam) to ask him to intercede. So Prophet (peace be upon him) (as the mercy for mankind) felt sorry for him, and he said he'd do it. When he went to Bareerah, she asked, "Are you commanding me or are you just interceding?" The Prophet said, "I'm interceding." She replied, "If this is the case, then I don't want him", and since all else failed, he spent his life chasing after her and crying for her.

What to gain from the hadith:

Excessive love sometimes causes the forgetfulness of shyness. Just like in his example, he could not hide his love for Bareerah, but the Prophet (peace be upon him) didn't chastise him for it (becuse it wasn't in his hands.) He wouldn't have been chastised for it unless he totally crossed the limits. Imam Ibn Hajr said that it is permissible if it's out of someone's hands. If a man is engaged to a lady and the family decides to break off their engagement, he may get really frustrated, and out of excessive love for her, he may act out. We can't do much for that person, so it's okay. In the story above, Mugeeth even went to the extent that he asked the Prohet to intercede for him. Mugheeth loved her so much that the Prophet didn't deny that love, and he didn't say, "You can't because she's not your wife anymore."

*Love is a secret and it's an amazing secret from Allah (Subhanaw wa Ta'Ala!)*
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source
 
^ jazakAllahu khair sis syilla


i understand now, theres no way to tell unless you actually try.


ok now for the islamic point of view, shud i ask her/him how he/she feels first or approach my parents to find out how he/she feels? :?



everyone please make dua :statisfie:
 
i guess u have certainly made the right choice.

erm ask ur parents first...as they ur first priority...to check whether this can go further or not...

perhaps ask ur bro/sis to find out how the sis/bro feels about you...are they ready to be in this commitment or not..

and in the mean time we will make dua for u inshAllah....and u DO the same inshAllah..

..hope it goes well for you inshAllah...:D ...this is exciting....hope to hear the result inshAllah...:D
 
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I can't understand this. If 2 persons are understanding well each other, why they don't get married :? They are waiting for what :? To have a good marriage you have to wait how long :(
 
Tania said:
I can't understand this. If 2 persons are understanding well each other, why they don't get married :? They are waiting for what :? To have a good marriage you have to wait how long :(
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Islamically they can be with each other [if the marriage contract is done] at the age of puberty, it's just due to culture that people have made it so complicated. And Allaah knows best.
 
just wanted to ask that you keep making dua 4 us inshaAllah... i really hope this goes thru... may Allah have mercy on us inshaAllah
 
:salamext:

Inshaa Allaah brother, everything will work out for the best :thumbs_up
 
:salamext:

Yeh bro thats relli kool....but when u fight against ur nafs (desires) - Jihaad Un Nafs - Thats just totalli wiked if u can do that :)
 
Wait hold on...are we talking Jihaad un-Nafs? If so then good. If the battlefield Jihaad then double-good. :):D
 
AnonymousGender said:
If you were the brother/sister in this position, would you have gotten over it, or would you still want the brother/sister to propose to you?
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Wa'alaykum Assalam

If you don't communicate your feelings with this Brother/Sister you might live to regret it for a long time, so you should do so, through the permitted forms, such as meet him/her in the presence of a mahram.

Even if he/she doesn't feel the same way, at least you will know it was not supposed to be!
 
Assalamu alaikum,

I don't think you would be doing anything haraam by proposing to her, because you want to legitimize the relationship. But, you should talk to her first, and then her parents if she agrees. However, people do change in two years. So, if for some reason, she's not the person she once was, then you know it's time to move on. And Allah knows best.
 

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