cat eyes
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well ask yourself would you like to be refused? then you'll have your answer
can the husband demand
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well ask yourself would you like to be refused? then you'll have your answer
Rhubarb Tart
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What do you mean by that? He is waking her up for sex. The question would be: would you like someone to wake you up for intimacy in the night.
cat eyes
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to the OP 
atimah - India
Title
Can a Wife Refuse Her Husband's Bed?
Question
As-Salamu `alaykum. My question is that I want to know if a wife is not interested in sex, does it become compulsory on her to obey her husband in having sex? Please let me know as I am confused!
Date
08/Jun/2005
Topic
Marital relationships, Intimate relations
Answer
Wa `alaykum As-Salamu wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.
In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.
All praise and thanks are due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon His Messenger.
Dear sister in Islam, we commend your pursuit of knowledge and your keenness to seek what is lawful and avoid what is not. We earnestly implore Allah to bless your efforts in this honorable way.
Islam cares for establishing a lovely relation between a man and his wife. It calls upon both parties to exchange love, show respect, and care for each other. This applies to all aspects of their life: social, intellectual, intimate, etc.
Moreover, Islam pays great attention to the intimate aspect of the husband-wife relationship. Once, when the Prophet got to know that one of his Companions used to spend the whole night in prayer, he immediately gave the Prophetic guidance “Your eyes has a right over you, your guests have a right over you and your wife has a right over you.” (Reported by Al-Bukhari).
In another occasion, the Prophet directed the man to how he should approach his wife, He said: “None of you should fall upon his wife like an animal; but let there first be a messenger between you.” The Companions exclaimed, “What is that messenger?” The Prophet replied, “Kisses and (romantic) words!” (Reported by Al-Daylami)
If these are guidelines on the side of man, the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him), on the other hand, urged the woman to respond to her husband if he called her to make love. Abu Hurayrah narrated that the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said, "If a husband calls his wife to his bed (i.e. to have sexual relation) and she refuses and causes him to sleep in anger, the angels will curse her till the morning.”
Given these general guidelines, one can conclude that, in response to the specific points indicated in the question, among the duties of a wife towards her husband are that she should satisfy his needs, withhold him from falling into the unlawful and exchange love and affection with him.
If the wife declines his desire to make love with her, he may be psychologically affected and experience physical ailments related to this (e.g. stimulation excitation, congestion and sexual suppression due to the lack of ejaculation).
In the same vein, the wife may go through similar problems and experience the same sufferings if her man declined to meet her sexual needs.
Therefore it is of the wisdom of the Shari`ah that it calls both parties to understand and respond to the natural need of each other. If both husband and wife respond to each other, they will maintain each other’s love, care and affection. Conversely, if they refuse, the relationship can deteriorate. This may also lead one of them to deviate from the right path and look for pleasure outside the marriage. This will eventually lead to the breakdown of the family and the disintegration of the society at large.
However, it is to be added that if the wife is physiologically or physically ill and unable to respond to her husband's call then he should be considerate of her condition and never harm her in any way.
In this context, the late Sheikh Ibn al-`Uthaymin, the well-known Saudi scholar, adds:
If the wife is psychologically ill and is not able to actively respond to her husband's call or if she has a physical illness, then in such cases it is not allowed for the husband to call her to bed. This is because the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said "There is to be no harm done or reciprocation of harm." He should either refrain or enjoy her company in such a way that does not harm her.
You can also read:
Denying a Wife’s Physical Needs: A Sin?
Shall I refuse My Husband's Bed If He Does Not Pray?
Should Wife Never Refuse Husband’s Bed?
Husband and Wife: Mutual Rights and Obligations
Read more: http://www.islamonline.net/servlet/...FatwaE/FatwaE&cid=1119503544176#ixzz0vTAg5S1k
atimah - India
Title
Can a Wife Refuse Her Husband's Bed?
Question
As-Salamu `alaykum. My question is that I want to know if a wife is not interested in sex, does it become compulsory on her to obey her husband in having sex? Please let me know as I am confused!
Date
08/Jun/2005
Topic
Marital relationships, Intimate relations
Answer
Wa `alaykum As-Salamu wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.
In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.
All praise and thanks are due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon His Messenger.
Dear sister in Islam, we commend your pursuit of knowledge and your keenness to seek what is lawful and avoid what is not. We earnestly implore Allah to bless your efforts in this honorable way.
Islam cares for establishing a lovely relation between a man and his wife. It calls upon both parties to exchange love, show respect, and care for each other. This applies to all aspects of their life: social, intellectual, intimate, etc.
Moreover, Islam pays great attention to the intimate aspect of the husband-wife relationship. Once, when the Prophet got to know that one of his Companions used to spend the whole night in prayer, he immediately gave the Prophetic guidance “Your eyes has a right over you, your guests have a right over you and your wife has a right over you.” (Reported by Al-Bukhari).
In another occasion, the Prophet directed the man to how he should approach his wife, He said: “None of you should fall upon his wife like an animal; but let there first be a messenger between you.” The Companions exclaimed, “What is that messenger?” The Prophet replied, “Kisses and (romantic) words!” (Reported by Al-Daylami)
If these are guidelines on the side of man, the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him), on the other hand, urged the woman to respond to her husband if he called her to make love. Abu Hurayrah narrated that the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said, "If a husband calls his wife to his bed (i.e. to have sexual relation) and she refuses and causes him to sleep in anger, the angels will curse her till the morning.”
Given these general guidelines, one can conclude that, in response to the specific points indicated in the question, among the duties of a wife towards her husband are that she should satisfy his needs, withhold him from falling into the unlawful and exchange love and affection with him.
If the wife declines his desire to make love with her, he may be psychologically affected and experience physical ailments related to this (e.g. stimulation excitation, congestion and sexual suppression due to the lack of ejaculation).
In the same vein, the wife may go through similar problems and experience the same sufferings if her man declined to meet her sexual needs.
Therefore it is of the wisdom of the Shari`ah that it calls both parties to understand and respond to the natural need of each other. If both husband and wife respond to each other, they will maintain each other’s love, care and affection. Conversely, if they refuse, the relationship can deteriorate. This may also lead one of them to deviate from the right path and look for pleasure outside the marriage. This will eventually lead to the breakdown of the family and the disintegration of the society at large.
However, it is to be added that if the wife is physiologically or physically ill and unable to respond to her husband's call then he should be considerate of her condition and never harm her in any way.
In this context, the late Sheikh Ibn al-`Uthaymin, the well-known Saudi scholar, adds:
If the wife is psychologically ill and is not able to actively respond to her husband's call or if she has a physical illness, then in such cases it is not allowed for the husband to call her to bed. This is because the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said "There is to be no harm done or reciprocation of harm." He should either refrain or enjoy her company in such a way that does not harm her.
You can also read:
Denying a Wife’s Physical Needs: A Sin?
Shall I refuse My Husband's Bed If He Does Not Pray?
Should Wife Never Refuse Husband’s Bed?
Husband and Wife: Mutual Rights and Obligations
Read more: http://www.islamonline.net/servlet/...FatwaE/FatwaE&cid=1119503544176#ixzz0vTAg5S1k
Last edited:
Rhubarb Tart
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You hardly did not help her either. Again I ask you what do you mean by that?
And the article you have posted which I have posted similar does not address when the wife is asleep! Like sister мυѕℓιмαн 4 ℓιfє said.
I think sister Cat eyes was speaking from the husband's perspective
and sis sweet106 from the wife's perspective.
and sis sweet106 from the wife's perspective.
Rhubarb Tart
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Doesn’t that go for the husband? Ladies are you honestly saying you lot wouldn’t mind if your husband selfishly wake up for sex.
That is not a marriage.
Lady are you saying that I should refuse my husband daily and keep sleeping?
Rhubarb Tart
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If you keep sleeping with your husband when tired, you would resent him. The intimacy is going to become a toll. I wouldn’t refuse; I would change our routine and habits and ask my hubby to be considerate. If he isn’t and he keeps demanding then it is over. He is not worth it. A husband that doesn’t considerate his wife feeling is not worth it.
And a wife that isn't considerate towards her husband's feelings is not worth it?
Last edited:
Rhubarb Tart
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If you are talking about in reference to OP, then I don't think she is being inconsiderate.
If you are talking about in general then yes she obviously is not worth it either.:statisfie
Cabdullahi
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maybe past experiences with a male cyborg has irked you to make such comments Allahu 3alem
....why not just say you dont like the idea of not being able to refuse
you make it out as if the male who's 'oversexed' is the only one in need of intimacy but the grim reality is women need intimacy as much as men do and the only ppl that say women dont need men for anything are the feminists.
...so sister are you a femi? i hope not insha'Allah ;D
I was talking about the situation (quoted below) you described in the case of the husband.
So I see no intimacy then and neglect their husband or wife's rights.
Rhubarb Tart
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We are talking about in reference to this topic which is a husband waking his wife for intimacy.
Can I ask you a question, would you wake her up? (Just what to understand the situation above from male perspective).
I wouldn't agree if the wife had done the same thing too.
Rhubarb Tart
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Seriously sister, I wouldn’t entertain the idea of husband/wife waking their partner up for intimacy. I would question my marriage if he was to do that to me especially if he keep doing that when I change my routine and advise my hubby to change.
~Raindrop~
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I think the OP's question has been answered, don't you? :ermm:
sister