can there ever be an ideal or perfect wife or husband

[esperanza]

having read an older thread about this...would be interested on peoples views..as im new here

 

[Who Am I?]

Well nobody is perfect, so I don't think there is such a thing as a "perfect spouse".

 

[Salahudeen]

having read an older thread about this...would be interested on peoples views..as im new here

Yes, if we learn to love our wife's/husband's imperfections and embrace them as the unique things that we love about them. This is where the term "I love everything about you comes from" Some things may not be perfect about them, but that's what makes them unique and special for you only. And if you love their imperfections then they will seem perfect to you.

 

[Ghazalah]

Yes, if we learn to love our wife's/husband's imperfections and embrace them as the unique things that we love about them. This is where the term "I love everything about you comes from" Some things may not be perfect about them, but that's what makes them unique and special for you only. And if you love their imperfections then they will seem perfect to you.

+1

Also the definition of ideal is quite general. For most, having a husband/wife that understands them, treats them well, has a relationship with Allah swt and fulfills their duties as a spouse would suffice. Doesn't necessarily make them perfect.

 

[tigerkhan]

i think there can be a perfect match but not a perfect husband or wife bcz maybe a person is perfect for someone and in sight of othres, he/she is not a perfect.

 

[Snowflake]

In terms of human perfection, the Prophet salallahu alayhi wasallam was the ideal and perfect husband. And the Mothers of the believers who were the best of women, still became impatient (except Hafsa & Aisha (ra)) with their situation causing them to demand an increase for domestic expenditure from Rasulullah salallahu alayhi wa sallam leaving him feeling distressed and embarrassed.


Allah told His beloved Prophet:

​

"O Prophet, say to your wives, If you should desire the worldly life and its adornment, then come, I will provide for you and give you a gracious release." (The Noble Quran 33:28) Thus causing the wives to be pacified.


So how can anyone with human weaknesses be 'perfect'? But there could be an ideal spouse if you both are God fearing and treat each other in the best manner possible, as well as have ability to overlook each others faults. Perfection is Allah's alone. But this combination can make two people 'perfect' for each other.

And Allah knows best.

 

[Ğħαrєєвαħ]

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[جوري]

you can't be perfect for everybody but you can be perfect to somebody and at the end of the day that's all that matters.. you go home to one not to the world..It is good to make an effort to make your spouse happy, the same way you make an effort to study your courses or to excel at work.. marriage takes work too and perfection comes from practice.. wisdom or old age whichever comes first..

 

[Khadijak]

I'm new here too but here's my two cents worth.

Perfection isn't what we should be looking for. Marriage is one of the hardest relationships one can ever be in because you have to deal with your nafs and the nafs of the other person. We should wonder if we will make good spouses rather than if we can find someone who will read our minds, say all the perfect things and give us a wonderful in love experience.
There's no perfect spouse and no one has a perfect marriage. What successful people have though, are relationships in which they compromise, step on their nufus for the sake of Allah, admit when they're wrong and treat each other with respect and manners befitting good, god fearing Muslims.

I've found books by John Gottman put things in perspective; they help one know what to expect from marriage, and what kind of work it takes on a daily bases. They've also been recommended by top Islamic scholars who specialise in marriage. Wallahu alam.

Khadija.