Cant get married, Im Ugly

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Khalid80

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As Sallamu Alakum
Hope someone can give me some sort of advice,InshaAllah.

I recently turned 35 years old and have been looking for a wife for around 10 years now. Alhamdulliah, I pray 5 times a day etc..

I've tried most the matrimonial sites and been through recommendations, without any success. I know what the issue is. Its my looks, Im not good looking at all. Whenever, Im communication with a sister for marriage, everything seems to be going well, until we exchange pics. Some sisters are straight and say, Im not attractive, and some sisters are polite about it and make another excuse.

Im always making Dua, but Im at a all time low. Im very disheartened and suffer from low self esteem. I hate looking at my self in the mirror.

Can anyone, please advice me. Im really suffering and am depressed....
 
Walaykum salam
I'm not good at advising but what I can say is if you have everything perfectly Allah has created for a human being (eyes, nose, mouth, eyebrows etc), then youre attractive. Also Allah God Knows your innermost feeling and thoughts on the self. How you feel about yourself is not very respectful and loving, is it? And why is that, because it seems others think and say you are unattractive? First of all for someone to straight up say "youre ugly" isnt really the one for you either. Maybe you havent found the right one yet but I'm sure theres def somwone out there who finds everything that your looks have- as 'attractive'.

Its like this for everyone also, some are attracted to certain looks of the face than others. First just believe that the way Allah created you in every way is good-looking, I mean, He is​ the Designer of it all anyway!! Once you accept this, respect this then these show gratitude to Him. Allah loves it and increases wealth and provision for the grateful one. Other advice I can give, is to keep make dua and take how you look care of how you look. Also if you feel there is anything that can be done to improve your appearance (something simple* such as a new haircut etc) then do so. Also bro I hardly think that after trying for 10 whole years, its all because of how you look that you arent married. Lol. I think Allah probably has something better for you, in His Time you will know :)
 
Walaikum Asalaam

Khalid80 said:
As Sallamu Alakum
Hope someone can give me some sort of advice,InshaAllah.

I recently turned 35 years old and have been looking for a wife for around 10 years now. Alhamdulliah, I pray 5 times a day etc..

I've tried most the matrimonial sites and been through recommendations, without any success. I know what the issue is. Its my looks, Im not good looking at all. Whenever, Im communication with a sister for marriage, everything seems to be going well, until we exchange pics. Some sisters are straight and say, Im not attractive, and some sisters are polite about it and make another excuse.

Im always making Dua, but Im at a all time low. Im very disheartened and suffer from low self esteem. I hate looking at my self in the mirror.

Can anyone, please advice me. Im really suffering and am depressed....
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Don't be depressed. Wherever we may have a deficiency, there is something else to compensate for it. You need to have confidence in yourself.

I believe there's a person out there for everyone. Just look for something different than what you're used to finding.
 
Salaam ale3koem bro,

Have you tried looking for a spouse through your mosque or your social network instead of the internet?

People on the internet are often pretty superficial, even when they join a ´proper´ dating website and indeed tend to value looks much more than they would when they meet someone in person and see the whole picture and get a true impression.

If you are truly ugly (which I dont think) then you might benefit from meeting sisters through mutual contact who can get to know you for who you are through halal interaction with someone present instead of for what you look like.
 
Wa alaikum salam brother,

Beauty is relative, and not finding someone to marry simply mean that you have yet to meet the person that will find you attractive according to their own standard.
Also, honestly, if you're a decent, practising man with nice character and high values and still get rejected solely because of how you look, the sisters who rejected you are simply not worth it.

I know that at 35 you must be feeling low and discouraged, but don't forget that everything happen according to the Will of Allah, and it's probably a test from Him. Have faith, keep on searching, make dua, ask for the best spouse possible with all the criteria you desire, never lower yourself and settle for less. Have sabr. In shaa Allah, you'll be blessed with a spouse in this Dunya and earn the ajr in the Akhira for your patience ;)

PS: Search for "the ugly shahabi" in Youtube. Very inspiring.
 
Salaam

Some old fashioned advice


More helpfully just to add to what everybody else has said life can be harsh and unfair in this respect but its better to be with somebody who wants to be with you than someone who doesn't, no matter how much you like them.

Concentrate on your own life and focus on improving yourself. Be the best that you can be.

A man does not have to be good looking, just fit, energetic, confident, productive, and goal oriented. Those are the characteristics that will make any man attractive to just about any woman.

Dont give up.
 
:sl:

Sabr Inshallah , even a disabled man gets a wife so its all destined , just wait for your time with S &S (Salah & Sabr)
 
Wa aleykum a salam bro, i used to be thw same. It got to the point where i avoided mirrors and broke down crying one day about my eyebrows, lol. Just remember, that Allah created us, and He chose what features to give us, and ALL of us are beautiful in the eyes of Allah swt. Also, like another person on here said, its their loss. If you're practising and decent and getting rejected just for looks, well its their loss. Just have sabr, i know it can be diffcult, and just remember this is your own personal jihad and you can overcome it.
 
Walaikumasalaam,


When you say you believe expect to be tested insha Allah.

Allah swt knows better than we do. Continue praying to Allah swt and if you haven't already spread the word that you are looking for a wife.

Speak to the local Imams, family members, friends etc. to help you insha Allah.

May Allah swt make it easy for you Ameen.
 

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