Waalikum Assalam
The difficulties faced in joining a man to a woman with previous (or more) relationship experience is a social phenomenon with dimensions that need to be picked apart carefully and understood so that practical solutions can be proposed on a case-by-case basis. Divorcees continue to be treated unfairly and this is another example of such treatment. What reasons have your parents given for their refusal to consent? Are they afraid that your marrying a divorced woman will bring shame to the family? Do they know something about the woman or her previous marriage that perhaps you do not know? If so, how do they know that information? Through what sources? When it comes to situation like these parents often get into insecurities and doubtfulness and why not. Women who are older in age use their experience to drive man and this started with very initial interaction, for example a woman who has married before "know" the feelings of man where it hits without words. Someone who has passed her glory days may bait a young man as meal ticket for her children. Possibilities like these are endless and diverse.
It will be difficult for you to convince your parents if their objection stems from the fact that they want you to marry someone who has not been married before. If that is the case, then there is little one can do or say to change the circumstances of this woman's life. Ask yourself as well why you are so interested in marrying this woman? Perhaps they need to hear with conviction that you have done your research about her and find her to be the most suitable candidate for marriage.
Brother, would your parents be willing to speak with her directly? Perhaps their minds can be eased if they have the opportunity to ask the questions they have and let her answer and share her side of the story. If I were you, I would ask both the girl, and them, if they are agreeable to at least talking. It doesn't mean they have to agree to let you marry her, and it doesn't mean they have to commit to anything. It's just a onetime conversation in the spirit of being open and truthful, and building trust. Explain your point of view - about why You like her; why you Love her, and what, in your view - makes her the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. Do let the girl talk in the middle of your discussion, which will help your parents understand a little bit about the girl, and the way she thinks,perceives and explains things to your parents.Let the girl have some alone time with your parents (individually, or, with both simultaneously), for them to get to know her better.Ask your parents how they feel. Be silent until they finish explaining; let them explain what they think about the situation.Once they finish explaining, they will definitely ask some questions to you and the girl in terms of how to approach this whole thing, and in general which you are required to answer.Then, ask your parents what they like, and what they don't like - in the current situation; and what they expect you to do. If their explanation presents another situation - that gives a feasible solution for everyone, then take it up. Otherwise, think about it, and talk some more - until there is harmony, among everybody in that place.
Another option would be to enlist the help of her parents. Sometimes, especially if they know the background of her previous marriage and divorce, they can advocate for her to your own parents. You didn't mention them in your post, so I am not sure how involved they are with her or her efforts to re-marry. (If they aren't involved, they should be!)
If you try either or both of these and your parents are not open to either, continue to talk to your parents yourself. Find out exactly what their concerns are ("being taken advantage of" is too vague). Ask them what would put their minds at ease? Ask them if there was anything you or she or anyone else can do to help them feel more supportive of your desires to marry this girl. Ask them what type of woman they had envisioned for you, and give examples of how this girl meets that criteria.
Be persistent in approaching your parents.Too often they do not listen to their children and they are pushed into marriages that often end up in divorce. Keep talking to your parents and don't give up.Be patient, polite,and have the feeling of respect and affection, and understanding,when you are explaining the situation.Avoid using emotions and intellect interchangeably while presenting arguments as depicted in this Hadith:
Jabir b. Abdillah reported that once he was on an expedition with the Prophet salla Allahu ?alayhi wa sallam, and when they were close to the city of Madinah, he sped on his mount. The Prophet salla Allahu ?alayhi wa sallam asked him why he was in such a hurry to return home. Jabir replied, “I am recently married!” The Prophet salla Allahu ?alayhi wa sallam asked, “To an older lady or a younger one?” [the Arabic could also read: “To a widow or a virgin?”], to which he replied, “A widow.”
The Prophet salla Allahu ?alayhi wa sallam said, “But why didn't you marry a younger girl, so that you could play with her, and she could play with you, and you could make her laugh, and she could make you laugh?”
He said, “O Messenger of Allah! My father died a martyr at Uhud, leaving behind daughters, so I did not wish to marry a young girl like them, but rather an older one who could take care of them and look after them.” The Prophet salla Allahu ?alayhi wa salam replied, “You have made the correct choice.”
[Reported by Bukhari and Muslim, with various wordings, in their two Sahihs]
Remind them of the saying of Prophet who said: "A man marries a woman for four reasons: for her wealth, for her lineage, for her beauty as for her piety. Select the pious one; may you be blessed". [Reported Imams Bukhari and Muslim] Also tell them that marrying a woman you do not love is not good either for you or her. You may seek help from those relatives who can convince your parents to accept the bride you choose. Inform them that the Prophet had married Khadijah (may Allaah be pleased with her) who was ten years older than him. In addition, keep supplicating Allah to guide you to do only, that which is good for you. Try your best to have your parents agree to this marriage; if they do not change their mind then it is advised you to obey them. They have much experience and always think for the benefit of their children. If you marry this woman without their consent, this might sever your relations with them, and then you may not fulfill their rights and consequently you may become rude towards them. The anger of the parents might result in the Anger of Allah as you know the right of parents upon their children is above all other rights. This right is so great that Allah linked their right to His.
Hence your only way is to persuade your parents that this marriage is viable and likely to give you the happiness they undoubtedly want for you. You have to determine how you can achieve that, but make sure that your approach is not one of confrontation, because confrontation is likely to produce the wrong result.Whatever you do, make sure to remain dutiful to your parents.
Beyond this, you can turn to Allāh (SWT) to keep your heart firm on the guidance He's given you and make du‘ā’ for help in overcoming any roadblocks attempting to bar your way to happiness with the soulmate He (SWT) has chosen for you.The ultimate confidence is knowing that Allāh (SWT) supports you, and when you know that, you cannot help but imagine the best is yet to come, both in this life and the next, no matter the difficulties you encounter along the way.
Khayr InshaAllah
