As salam alaikum,
I have an issue that has been troubling me deeply for the past year. I am a divorced mother of a three year old son. I had a very close relationship with my sister in law who is homosexual and has been in a homosexual relationship for @7yrs. My sister in law has two daughter (my neices) who I am very close to. While my son was a baby and up until last summer we used to exchange overnites and weekends with the children. Last summer, my exhusband, who is the father of my child told me that he no longer wanted my son to spend the night or go over his sister's house without supervision because her lover was engaging in very vulgar language around the children and he didn't feel it was a suitable environment for his child. I came to the defense of my sister in law and her lover initially and stated that I never hear them speak out of line around me and my sons loves his aunt and cousins. I then consulted my mother who is muslim and she advised me to stop letting my son go around what she considers an unnatural environment and living situation. She stated that we are muslim and as his mother I need to have him around normal, islamic situations and not alternative or deviant behaviorsie. homosexuals. Although I am muslim I am pretty liberal as far as people. I have always felt like you have to accept people for who they are. Subsequently, my son started coming home from his visits with his aunt and saying things that were vulgar and out of line for a two year old child. I told his dad about this and he said, " I know that's my sister but I'm telling you, the environment is not so good. " I told him that together we should let them know that our child can no longer spend nights or be there unaccompanied anymore. He stated that he would tell them himself because he didn't want them to hate me. Unfortunately he didn't follow through and they kept begging me to let my son spend the night. Finally I called my sister in law and as diplomactically as I could I told her that I appreciate her presence in our lives as well as her being a good aunt to my son but after discussing the situation with her brother (my son's father) we feel that it would be best if our child doesn't spend the night over her house anymore. I extended that herself, her children, and her lover our always welcomed in my home but we are trying to raise our son islamically and he is picking up on habits and influences that may be coming from her home that we are not comfortable with. I apologized deeply and felt really bad about his like I just lost a best friend and family member. Her lover immediately called me up and blasted me stating that I am a phony two-fasted homophobe and how dare I judge them.
This was last year and since then we have not talked. My heart aches, I just saw my neices for the first time in a year at their grandmother's house and they were begging to come spend the weekend with me. I told them that I love them very much and they are always welcomed to come and spend time with me or call me as long as it's ok with their mother. Which it's not. My ex-husband has never admitted to his sister to telling me that he didn't want his child their so now they HATE me. Part of me doesn't blame them because if I were in their shoes I might hate me also. I just wonder if there is a way for me to rectify this situation. I was trying to be a protective muslim parent and I guess I became overprotective and offended family members who are very close to me and mean so much to me. Do you possibly have any advise for me? If not please make dua for me and my sister in laws. Thanks
I have an issue that has been troubling me deeply for the past year. I am a divorced mother of a three year old son. I had a very close relationship with my sister in law who is homosexual and has been in a homosexual relationship for @7yrs. My sister in law has two daughter (my neices) who I am very close to. While my son was a baby and up until last summer we used to exchange overnites and weekends with the children. Last summer, my exhusband, who is the father of my child told me that he no longer wanted my son to spend the night or go over his sister's house without supervision because her lover was engaging in very vulgar language around the children and he didn't feel it was a suitable environment for his child. I came to the defense of my sister in law and her lover initially and stated that I never hear them speak out of line around me and my sons loves his aunt and cousins. I then consulted my mother who is muslim and she advised me to stop letting my son go around what she considers an unnatural environment and living situation. She stated that we are muslim and as his mother I need to have him around normal, islamic situations and not alternative or deviant behaviorsie. homosexuals. Although I am muslim I am pretty liberal as far as people. I have always felt like you have to accept people for who they are. Subsequently, my son started coming home from his visits with his aunt and saying things that were vulgar and out of line for a two year old child. I told his dad about this and he said, " I know that's my sister but I'm telling you, the environment is not so good. " I told him that together we should let them know that our child can no longer spend nights or be there unaccompanied anymore. He stated that he would tell them himself because he didn't want them to hate me. Unfortunately he didn't follow through and they kept begging me to let my son spend the night. Finally I called my sister in law and as diplomactically as I could I told her that I appreciate her presence in our lives as well as her being a good aunt to my son but after discussing the situation with her brother (my son's father) we feel that it would be best if our child doesn't spend the night over her house anymore. I extended that herself, her children, and her lover our always welcomed in my home but we are trying to raise our son islamically and he is picking up on habits and influences that may be coming from her home that we are not comfortable with. I apologized deeply and felt really bad about his like I just lost a best friend and family member. Her lover immediately called me up and blasted me stating that I am a phony two-fasted homophobe and how dare I judge them.
This was last year and since then we have not talked. My heart aches, I just saw my neices for the first time in a year at their grandmother's house and they were begging to come spend the weekend with me. I told them that I love them very much and they are always welcomed to come and spend time with me or call me as long as it's ok with their mother. Which it's not. My ex-husband has never admitted to his sister to telling me that he didn't want his child their so now they HATE me. Part of me doesn't blame them because if I were in their shoes I might hate me also. I just wonder if there is a way for me to rectify this situation. I was trying to be a protective muslim parent and I guess I became overprotective and offended family members who are very close to me and mean so much to me. Do you possibly have any advise for me? If not please make dua for me and my sister in laws. Thanks
