Clarification of 'Celibate' Marriage

:sl:

I think this type of marriage makes more sense to a girl then to a boy.

Marriage for a sister means to have someone to talk to an intimate friend to share everything with. For brothers it means...more.
 
when one decides to marry, why would he/she choose to do so without being in contact intimately..this is kind of stupid..any sane person i know would not be able to control the physical urge and wait..especially when it is halal to be intimate
 
I don't get why so many people are so surprised by this.
Arab people ALWAYS do this. The ktab alkitab (the nikah) is done when the couple agree on marriage. But the girl goes back to her parents house and same with the boy. Socially, they don't even refer to themselves as married, just engaged, but are fully aware that they are married Islamically. Having doing it this way, then the couple can get to know each other in a halal manner. Kinda like dating, but by no means, in a haram fashion.
After a couple of months or years (hardly this long though) they have the wedding reception and THEN they are "offically" married.
 
:sl:
hissa said:
I don't get why so many people are so surprised by this.
Arab people ALWAYS do this. The ktab alkitab (the nikah) is done when the couple agree on marriage. But the girl goes back to her parents house and same with the boy. Socially, they don't even refer to themselves as married, just engaged, but are fully aware that they are married Islamically. Having doing it this way, then the couple can get to know each other in a halal manner. Kinda like dating, but by no means, in a haram fashion.
After a couple of months or years (hardly this long though) they have the wedding reception and THEN they are "offically" married.
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hmm...
by nikah, you mean Islamic nikah or the weird "faati7ah tradition" that alot do thinking they are Islamically married and have the the license to go out together and all the rest of it :hmm:
 
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The fatiha is not weird. Why is that weird? That's what how engagement is done in Islam. You read surat al fatiha and then you're engaged. But ONLY engaged. The couple are still not maharam to each other.
Usually the fatiha is done at the same time as the nikah. So it's engagement and marriage at the same time. There is no engagement period before nikah. Of course this does happen, but usually Arabs do it all at the same time. But even though the nikha is done, they still don't consider themselves officially married until the reception which happens at a later time. But of course they are Islamically married and are halal for each other. And why is being celibate during this period hard? The couple doesn't live with each other, and the parents are usually still strict about how and where the couple meets.

I honestly don't understand why this is so difficult for so many people accept as permissable. There is nothing haram about it.
 
:sl:
^ ooo i made a mistake :embarrass sorry, i got mixed up. the recitation of the faatitah is to say that such and such girl is for such and such guy (yh, as you said, engagement :embarrass).

i wasnt saying the faatiah is weird, just reciting it at engagements and making it sound like its apart of Islam is. it actually isnt :)
It should also be noted that reciting al-Faatihah at the time of engagement or marriage is not mentioned in the Sunnah.

The standing Committee for Issuing Fatwas was asked: Is reciting al-Faatihah when a man proposes marriage to a woman an innovation (bid’ah)?

They replied:

Reciting al-Faatihah when a man proposes marriage to a woman or when doing the marriage contract with her is an innovation. End quote.

Fataawa al-Lajnah al-Daa’imah (19/146)

See: al-Sharh al-Mumti’ (10/124-127); al-Mawsoo’ah al-Fiqhiyyah (19/191).
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http://www.islam-qa.com/en/ref/89582
 

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