Clothing

[andrea44]

Are women forced to totally cover up if they chose to convert or is it a personal decision?

 

[ummzayd]

Hello Andrea, peace to you.

The verses of covering in the qur'an are clear. It is a requirement for a believing Muslim woman to wear hijab, which is a scarf covering the hair and long loose clothing covering the rest of the body.

However there is no specified punishment in the shariah for not covering.

Because there can be a certain stigma attached to hijab, many converts find it difficult to start wearing it. In these circumstances it is usually advised to take things one step at a time. Pressuring a woman to wear hijab when she doesn't feel comfortable with it could be disastrous.

Like many women who become Muslim, it took me nearly a year before I started covering properly. It was a gradual process, first wearing longer skirts and long sleeves without hijab; then wearing a scarf sometimes only. Eventually I wore a scarf every time I went out.

At no time did anyone ever try to force me. I guess if I had ever buttonholed any Muslim and told them hijab isn't necessary they would have argued back that it certainly is necessary. but as a new Muslim, other things were always emphasised to me more than hijab - prayer, tawheed (oneness of Allah) for example.

peace

 

[andrea44]

Thanks for the reply.

I dress and act very conservative anyway ,so I wondered why I needed to do more.

What do you think is the first step?

I am mainly uncomfortable with wearing any covering because I guess I feel its being negative toward women.

 

[Malaikah]

Hi,

It isn't negative at all . It is in fact an elevation of status, a sign of respect and modesty. It is a protect from those men who are perverted or see women as objects, or who might mean well but have little self control.

 

[Ummu Sufyaan]

hi,

I am mainly uncomfortable with wearing any covering because I guess I feel its being negative toward women.

please dont look at it in that sense. the covering is what makes the msulim women respeceted and seen as a human, not as an object. if you follow the gaze a man who sees a women half dressed, trust me, he aint looking at her becuase of respect. lol...try it, you'll now what i meankay:
:sunny:

 

[andrea44]

i get looked at badly by guys daily- and i hate it...

i understand the reasoning for the clothing-but i think i also have a difficulty getting into learning about islam because there isnt anyone near by to teach me.

 

[andrea44]

what i meant by "i get looked at badly daily" is that some men-yea all they think about are sexual stuff-and i have such a hard time finding a decent man.

i understand that its respect for women and all, but-i guess i second guess things like that because in the beginning of learning about islam, all i knew were the negative things that america "teaches".

 

[Al-Zaara]

hi,

please dont look at it in that sense. the covering is what makes the msulim women respeceted and seen as a human, not as an object. if you follow the gaze a man who sees a women half dressed, trust me, he aint looking at her becuase of respect. lol...try it, you'll now what i meankay:
:sunny:

She says she dresses conservative, and trust me, many woman who don't have the hijab are also respected. There are lots of non-Muslim women who rarely dress in a provocative way (ia half naked, short skirts, tops etc) and men don't look at them with 'that eye'. Beauty is more than just skin-deep.

Andrea, it took me a little time to be strong enough and wear the hijab, as I was so young and afraid of being 'rejected' by people. No one can deny I didn't dress very conservative before and when I started the hijab not many were too shocked. Elhamdulillah, it wasn't that difficult after all! If you feel unsecure, try out hijab styles and see how it looks like. Don't be too negative on yourself, and I do believe it will fit you. Buy some scarves etc, get yourself prepared kinda. Be around some Muslimahs who observe the hijab and you'll see how they have it, don't be afraid to ask questions.


First step is to revert to Islam. Most important is your intentions (niyaah). When you believe, you'll gradually start to understand things better.


You know most men I've met in my life, they have long sleeved jackets and long pants on, and actually most is covered. Then if you'd take a guy with a bare chest and shorts on to stand beside the other guys, you see the difference. With the 'covered' guy, you might feel more comfortable, 'cause let's admit; Most of us don't want to see a man's hairy feet. :giggling:

In Islam, the female AND male body is something you must be careful with. Think about it, what do you need your hair for, in sense to show it? Seriously, is it really just freedom? My opinion is most people will admit, hair makes one attractive, sometimes it could be fatal if the person is considered pretty. You want to show off, in a way or another. Human nature I guess. Using fitting clothes and so, you ARE maybe not begging, but wanting attention. Some say 'I do it for myself', yeah, you can do that! But you can't be that ignorant, believing it still counts as ONLY doing it for you, when you mingle with other people! Mostly, we want people to have a good impression of oneself, and being beautiful is considered often a good impression (?). So you think how you can make yourself attractive to other people.

As I said earlier, beauty isn't skin-deep. We say true beauty comes from inside, and sometimes the shell kan decive. True strength comes from within, you're problem is you gotta find it. I'm not saying you gotta look like trash now or something, so you won't cause attention. I'm saying think again why you see the hijab as negative. Is it because of what the media says about Muslim woman in for example, Afganistan? Or what? I recommend to learn more about Islam first, to be sure of one's decision inshaAllah (god willingly).


I'm sorry for the loong post. :hiding: Take care!

 

[ummzayd]

what i meant by "i get looked at badly daily" is that some men-yea all they think about are sexual stuff-and i have such a hard time finding a decent man.

i understand that its respect for women and all, but-i guess i second guess things like that because in the beginning of learning about islam, all i knew were the negative things that america "teaches".

yes I can understand that. A few years before I became Muslim I too believed that covered women were oppressed in some way. That's what we are all encouraged to believe by the media.

The truth is that covering entirely including the hair forces people to relate to you as a human being not a sex object or a 'pretty little thing'.

There has been some good advice to you already. I would just say that at this stage it is important to study Islam, learn about Allah and His divine attributes, learn about worship and begin to worship Him as He wishes you to. Insha'Allah as you increase in knowledge your desire and determination to wear hijab proudly and confidently will become irresistible....

peace

 

[Ummu Sufyaan]

Edit

 

[Esther462]

Andrea

I've been a Muslim for all most 3 weeks now. The advices the others are giving you is brillent.
I personal has settled into covering up really quickly. All the clothes I wear is mostly what own before I became a Muslim. I wear long sleaves tops under my t-shirts and I wear legging under skirts that are too short. I just make sure that my skin is not showing when I'm out and about. I did that over my 1st 2 weeks after I convernted.
With wearing the Hijab, I was wearing it my home and when I prayed after I converted. I was very nervios about wearing outside my house for the 1st time. As I've been weaing it for a week now all the time, it would feels strainage not wear it outside my home.
I feel a lot happier and I feel safer as a person when I'm outside my home.
That is my own expeances and I'm still very new to the faith.
As the others said, you just need to take things in your own time and you do things when you feel happy to take the next step with your clothes and personaly.

 

[IbnAbdulHakim]

the prophet sallallahi alaihi wasallaam said that the wives are the garments of the husband and likewise the husband the garments of the wives...

women are like pearls... they should be hidden, and only shown to who they r meant 4...

the feelings inside of self-hate should be enough to show which path is correct..

 

[UmmSqueakster]

I didn't put a scarf until about 6 months after I converted. It was something that grew on me as time progressed. No muslim pressured me into it. The more I read, the more I felt that it was an act of worship, and that by putting it on, I provided a good example to society of what a muslim woman is - someone who is not oppressed, who goes to school, works, is friendly, smart, etc etc etc.

Iprofess is an excellent site for those interested in Islam. Check the section on women, which includes a section on hijab.



As for learning about Islam, my yahoo is always open. I think it's in my profile, and if not, I'll add it. My husband works evenings, so I'm online quite a few times during the week.

 

[Al-Zaara]

yes, and i didn't say that she didn't.

Aleykum selam,

I was actually more generally speaking.

unfortunatley men who see women half dressed look beyond that factor.....

So? I wasn't thinking about the men. I was thinking about her. A hijab doesn't "cover/destroy" her beauty if she or anyone would 'fear' that, 'cause beauty is also from within.

 

[andrea44]

thanks for all of your replies!

i think i need to start learning about the religion through reading stuff first before jumping into anything.

for me, personally, i have already stopped doing all the "bad" stuff like sex, drinking, etc-
i have totally stopped all of that and am very committed to waiting and finding a good worth while guy instead of rushing-at least im trying not to rush.

so that part i am conservative about now-

and i already wear long sleeves and all and thats bc i naturally dont go around wearing "****ty' stuff- bc its degrading

 

[ummzayd]

thanks for all of your replies!

i think i need to start learning about the religion through reading stuff first before jumping into anything.

for me, personally, i have already stopped doing all the "bad" stuff like sex, drinking, etc-
i have totally stopped all of that and am very committed to waiting and finding a good worth while guy instead of rushing-at least im trying not to rush.

so that part i am conservative about now-

and i already wear long sleeves and all and thats bc i naturally dont go around wearing "****ty' stuff- bc its degrading

Hi, I think that's a good decision. I hope you will look up the websites that others have pointed you towards, there's a lot of really good stuff there.

It sounds like you have consciously made a lot of changes to your life, that's really great. :sunny:

May God bless you and guide you towards the straight path, and bless you with a good and pious spouse who was worth waiting for ameen.

peace

 

[Intisar]

Hello, well it is an obligation (fardh in Arabic) for a woman to cover herself up completely. It is said repeatedly in the Quran, and this is for the reason that believing women are free from harm and annoyances. Men will be forced to look at your personality, and not your outward appearance.

"O Prophet! Tell your wives and your daughters and the women of the believers to draw their cloaks (veils) all over their bodies (i.e.screen themselves completely except the eyes or one eye to see the way). That will be better, that they should be known (as free respectable women) so as not to be annoyed. And Allah is Ever OftForgiving, Most Merciful. Soorah Al-Ahzaab 33.59"

It is also used as a distinction between believing women and non-believing women (as said in the Ayat from the Quraan). Hope I was of benefit.

 

[ummzayd]

Hello, well it is an obligation (fardh in Arabic) for a woman to cover herself up completely. It is said repeatedly in the Quran, and this is for the reason that believing women are free from harm and annoyances. Men will be forced to look at your personality, and not your outward appearance.

"O Prophet! Tell your wives and your daughters and the women of the believers to draw their cloaks (veils) all over their bodies (i.e.screen themselves completely except the eyes or one eye to see the way). That will be better, that they should be known (as free respectable women) so as not to be annoyed. And Allah is Ever OftForgiving, Most Merciful. Soorah Al-Ahzaab 33.59"

It is also used as a distinction between believing women and non-believing women (as said in the Ayat from the Quraan). Hope I was of benefit.

Unfortunately it is not clear that the quotation you provided from qur'an is giving an opinion, it doesn't actually mention eyes or one eye to see the way in the actual quranic verse. It might be a little misleading to a non-Muslim. I think when quoting qur'an it is important to stick to the actual words of qur'an.

 

[Ummu Sufyaan]

She says she dresses conservative, and trust me, many woman who don't have the hijab are also respected. There are lots of non-Muslim women who rarely dress in a provocative way (ia half naked, short skirts, tops etc) and men don't look at them with 'that eye'. Beauty is more than just skin-deep.

sorry sis, get ya drift now....
but i do disagree, because even if she is slightly uncovered, he will still look at her. and yes, he may respect her, but what garuntees that he's not thinking about her. :sunny:

 

[Al-Zaara]

sorry sis, get ya drift now....
but i do disagree, because even if she is slightly uncovered, he will still look at her. and yes, he may respect her, but what garuntees that he's not thinking about her. :sunny:

Aleykum selam (lol you've got many selams)

It doesn't mean he's not thinking about her (we can't stop that factor completely, whatever we may do), but what about her can differ a lot. Also, as a hijabi myself I've gotten the look often. They stare at me, but of course I cannot guarantee what they are thinking (and God forbid I do not wanna know). See, some body parts are "less sexual" than the others... Or so I have heard. And if like half her arms are bare, only that, and then the hair for example, then I would be surprised if he had sexual thoughts just by looking at her for a brief moment. (if he's not in love or just a random pervert)

lol But I do understand you too. And I think the sister got us too.


Also, I agree 100% with ummzyad's above post.

Ma'salam