I am 20 years old and a distant relative proposed for marriage. He has more wealth than we can imagine. He is good in ethics with human beings. The problem is that his family is not religious at all. In all honesty, neither am I. I don’t wear hijab, but other than that I try my best to be a good servant to Allah.
When his proposal came, I wasn’t prepared &!I straight away rejected but my family pressurized me into meeting him. My family is very practicing but their whole lives they faced financial issues, so their wealth fascinated them. Eventually, with the belief that my adults know better, I listened to them & to my grandfather, who is one of the wisest people I know, & agreed to the marriage.
However many relatives started protesting against it, saying their money has come from unlawful means. Furthermore, as I started speaking to the boy, he tried to convince me to start drinking occasionally & go clubbing with him. I told him multiple times that I can’t do something haram. He laughs it off & says alright but when the topic ever comes up, he does try to convince me.
The week after I met the boy, their family decided to throw a big function in celebration. It was not an engagement but since they have money, they did whatever they could & the function was so grand that most people think I am the boys fiance. Some even assume it was a wedding ceremony of some sort. They made the boy and me take pictures together, put us on a wedding-like stage together. They posted all the pictures online. I didn’t tell any of my friends but now it’s public knowledge due to those pictures. Some people even say it was a way for them to trap us into the marriage since there was a girl before me some years ago but it didn’t work out between her & this boy.
Now my family is confused. On one side is their wealth and the fact that the boy is a good human being, according to the world. On the other side is the fact that my education is not yet complete, the boys family is not very educated, not practicing at all and he wants to corrupt me as well. I could fight for my morals but for how long? Also, my father is afraid that breaking it off would cause people to question my character. And as my age increases, it will be a problem.
Last night I told my family to close this matter & let them go. For me it was the drinking and education matter that upset me. But my family is like give it one more thought.
I am confused. It’s has been almost two months, we’ve been doing a lootttttt of istikhara and we still don’t know if we should reject them or go for it.
When his proposal came, I wasn’t prepared &!I straight away rejected but my family pressurized me into meeting him. My family is very practicing but their whole lives they faced financial issues, so their wealth fascinated them. Eventually, with the belief that my adults know better, I listened to them & to my grandfather, who is one of the wisest people I know, & agreed to the marriage.
However many relatives started protesting against it, saying their money has come from unlawful means. Furthermore, as I started speaking to the boy, he tried to convince me to start drinking occasionally & go clubbing with him. I told him multiple times that I can’t do something haram. He laughs it off & says alright but when the topic ever comes up, he does try to convince me.
The week after I met the boy, their family decided to throw a big function in celebration. It was not an engagement but since they have money, they did whatever they could & the function was so grand that most people think I am the boys fiance. Some even assume it was a wedding ceremony of some sort. They made the boy and me take pictures together, put us on a wedding-like stage together. They posted all the pictures online. I didn’t tell any of my friends but now it’s public knowledge due to those pictures. Some people even say it was a way for them to trap us into the marriage since there was a girl before me some years ago but it didn’t work out between her & this boy.
Now my family is confused. On one side is their wealth and the fact that the boy is a good human being, according to the world. On the other side is the fact that my education is not yet complete, the boys family is not very educated, not practicing at all and he wants to corrupt me as well. I could fight for my morals but for how long? Also, my father is afraid that breaking it off would cause people to question my character. And as my age increases, it will be a problem.
Last night I told my family to close this matter & let them go. For me it was the drinking and education matter that upset me. But my family is like give it one more thought.
I am confused. It’s has been almost two months, we’ve been doing a lootttttt of istikhara and we still don’t know if we should reject them or go for it.
