Confused About Religion.. I Need Help Desperately!

[Noor_]

:salamext:
What you think is your heart, is actually the Shaytaan whispering to you.

That really scares me.. :-(
How do I know what my heart really is trying to tell me?

 

[Annie]

Salam sister
i am not being rude but you need to learn more about your religion. And if you want the answers read the quran.
wasalam

 

[syilla]

:salamext:

Thankful to Allah swt is bigger than we define it.

If you understand the universal nature of Hamd you will know that your saying "Al-Hamdu Lillah" (Praise Be To Allah) requires praise of Him for His majesty, vastness, unity, might, bestowal of favors, knowledge, ability and power, wisdom and other attributes, and that it includes the meanings of His ninety-nine beautiful names. What a word [it is] which gathers together that which volumes find difficult to express.

In Islamic terminology, Thankfulness is the acknowledgment of the fact that Allah is the only Grantor of graces, and full submission to Allah in a way that assures that acknowledgment. The graces (favors) of Allah are endless and countless.

source

Just imagine you are owned by Allah swt, everything you have, you wear, you get and etc everything was given by Allah swt. of course we will be thankful. But how thankful are we? Do we become more humble? Do we deny and contradict anything He says? Do we try our best to be near Him? Do we try our best to please him? Don't we want to be the best person that He looked upon.

Why we want to do all this...because we are thankful. We are so thankful that we will try our best to please him. And because we want to try our best to show our love to Allah swt.

And why we pray?

What makes you say your Prayers at places where there is no one to ask you to offer them or even to see you offering them? Isn’t it so because of your belief that God is ever looking at you? What makes you leave your important business and other occupations and rush towards the mosque for Prayers? What makes you terminate your sweet sleep in the early hours of the morning, to go to the mosque in the heat of the noon, and to leave your evening entertainments for the sake of Prayers? Is it anything other than sense of duty—your realization that you must fulfill your responsibility to the Lord, come what may? And why are you afraid of any mistake in Prayer? Because your heart is filled with the fear of God and you know that you have to appear before Him on the Day of Judgment and give an account of your entire life.

Now look! Can there be a better course of moral and spiritual training than Prayer? It is this training which makes a man a perfect Muslim. It reminds him of his covenant with God, refreshes his faith in Him, and keeps the belief in the Day of Judgment alive and ever present before his mind’s eye. It makes him follow the Prophet and trains him in the observance of his duties.

This is indeed a strict training for conforming one’s practice to one’s ideals. Obviously if a man’s consciousness of his duties towards his Creator is so acute that he prizes it above all worldly gains and keeps refreshing it through Prayers, he would certainly not be inviting the displeasure of God hat he all along has striven to avoid. He will abide by the law of God in the entire gamut of life in the same way as he follows it in the five Prayers every day. This man can be relied upon in other fields of activity as well, for if the shadows of sin or deceit approach him, he will try to avoid them for fear of the Lord that would be ever present in his heart. And if even after such a vital training a man misbehaves himself in other fields of life and disobeys the law of God, it can only be because of some intrinsic depravity of his self.

source

confusion should make you want to learn more about islam...but not running away from islam. So try your best to learn. Knowledge is the key.

wallahualam.

wassallam

 

[-Elle-]

Firstly,I'd like to start of by saying that each and every one of my bros/sis that have posted a reply to this girl's problem is absolutly amazing mash'allah.You all gave incredible advice that even I,who isn't even face with a problem similiar to this(alhamdulillah,)found useful!(uh..yeah...took me a while and I really should be studying but I couldn't help it,every time I'd read a reply,another amazing one would follow)

In regards to your problem,sis Noor,I normally give the best advice I can when posting in the advice section of this forum,but honestly,I don't believe I can tell you anything that hasn't already been said.And even if I reformulated what had been said(let's say I didn't read the replies and I had just posted an answer),I honestly don't think you would've truly acknowledge our words simply because the points you seem to be bring up again and again

Have already been answered.

Mash'allah you are all very patient by responding,and many replies bring up similiar points.sis,if you want more answers,I suggest you re-read the posts which were typed obviously with much thought.

I only have one comment,and it's in regards to this:

giving up someone I love so much just seems like a huge mistake.
The thought just makes me really, really sad.. just reading your post made me cry.

You are clearly saying here that giving up someone for Allah(SWT) seems like a big mistake.Martyrs give up their lives for Allah(SWT)(you could also read once more Wkas's post)...Im not saying everyone has that will-power,but after all Allah(SWT) has given you:

-Two eyes
-Two ears
-Taste
-Smell
-Touch
-HEALTH

These ALONE are,in my opinion,of the GREATEST blessing.See all that Allah(SWT) has given you?All he asks of us is to follow the rules in Islam,which,let me tell you,are mostly FOR OUR OWN BENEFIT...

I apoligise in advance if I appeared rather unsensitive,but I just feel it a bit rude that you bring up many times the same points when they have been adressed(I know that probably wasn't your intention.)

Anw,insh'allah all goes well with you.

 

[Malaikah]

Noor_

You say you don't see what is so bad about extramarital relationships, here are just a few things from the top of my head:

1. They have no real solid foundation, there is no pressure to commit (unlike marriage). Your boyfriend could leave you at any time he wishes, leaving you heartbroken. There is no guarantee. With marriage there is more commitment and security.

2. STD's. They are a huge problem related to extramarital relationships. And they aren't just a walk in the park- HIV involved a slow and painful death, other disease are less severe but also very painful. Some of them (like herpes) will stay with you for the rest of your life (there is no cure).

3. Unwanted pregnancy. No contraceptions are 100% fool-proof. You run the risk of bring a child into a relationship that has not confirmed future. Your boyfriend could leave you, the child no has no father. And if you do not want to keep the child, your only other option is abortion. Abortion is never easy. It is not simple- it is murder.

These are only a few of the issues. I hope you will think about this carefully.

As for your confusion regarding Islam and Allah, I recommend you browse through here, there is a lot of useful information for you to read, click on the links on the left hand side to read about other topics:
http://islamtoday.com/discover_islam.cfm?cat_id=6&sub_cat_id=41

 

[Nabooly]

This thread should probably close. This girl obviously seems to think that what she has done isnt wrong, and as long as she beleives in Allah, she is good to go.

My advice for you Noor, educate urself about Islam. The Qur'an IS the word of God, and if that much you dont beleive in, what r u doing here? Whats the point of this post if you have no faith, and no Iman?

If you know whats right from wrong, why do you keep doing the wrong? Shaytan......?

 

[mohammed_seth]

sallam sister and to all others

iv read fair bit of this thread but it kinda seems to me your looking for someone 2 say that what you are doing is fine and its natrul and you shouldnt worry

if im wrong can some1 correct me

iv been in your situation quite similar and i was at your age at the time. although im a boy this should'nt reflect on what happend

firstly you need 2 relise you are young and the advice you have been given is by elders who are wise and you have been mashallah given some good advice

second relise this your 1st love is blind your at your learning stage shall i say
your both young and at this age boredom plays a big role and his a boy
and a non-muslim boy his paradise is this world he has no fear or love for allah infact he will take you from your lord and in my opnion that process has begun with what you have said.

and i want 2 make it clear that nikka with this boy is not accpeted in no form of way so how will your marrige work if you pursued it?

and say you did marry him, 1 day and have children what will they raised belivers of islam or non belivers

you say it won't bring harm onto others...then clearly you have thought about it deep enough...open your eyes and look at the big picture use you head and not your heart

i fell in love with a girl when i just turnt 16 i gave up alot for her after a year she broke up with me ..why? she found another..

and it happens to alot of people because at that age theres so much the mind wants to explore just remember you will die 1 day and questions will be asked can this boy lead you to the right

inshallah sister you heart will come to the all mighty allah

ameen

sallam

 

[mohammed_seth]

This thread should probably close. This girl obviously seems to think that what she has done isnt wrong, and as long as she beleives in Allah, she is good to go.

My advice for you Noor, educate urself about Islam. The Qur'an IS the word of God, and if that much you dont beleive in, what r u doing here? Whats the point of this post if you have no faith, and no Iman?

If you know whats right from wrong, why do you keep doing the wrong? Shaytan......?

sallam my brother i disagree with what you are saying she has come to the forum like many others includeing me for guidence and aid from fellow brothers and sisters inshallah what she has read from here may help her and bring her closer to her true calling as muslim

 

[Nabooly]

sallam my brother i disagree with what you are saying she has come to the forum like many others includeing me for guidence and aid from fellow brothers and sisters inshallah what she has read from here may help her and bring her closer to her true calling as muslim

Ofcourse she has. But it does not seem, from her posts, that she wants to change, and accept that what she is doing is wrong. Like you said, it seems she just wants someone to come and tell her what shes doing is perfectly fine, when it isnt ofcourse. :smile:

 

[Grace Seeker]

Noor,

Like Woodrow, I too am a grandpa, and I read your letter through those sorts of eyes. Unlike him, I am a Christian, and so may not be able to help you in the same way as some others here have. But I can tell you, that as I read them, I think that your Muslim sisters Malakiah and Purest Ambrosia are giving you sound advice. I would never say that God hates anyone. But we can choose to live so far outside of God's will for us that we loose all contact with him and have trouble finding our way back to him. Who knows exactly where that limit is for any person? Jesus (pbuh) tells a story of a young boy who left his father, his family, even the things taught by his faith, and wasted everything that his father had ever given him, and once having lost it all found himself wishing if he could only be as well off as some hogs he was given slop to eat. You got to admit that is pretty low. Well, that boy wised up and went back to his father, and though the father had every right to be upset with the boy, more than anything else the father was simply glad to see his son return home. As Christian have read this story for years, we have understood Jesus to be talking about us as that lost boy and God as the loving, patiently waiting father.

Now, I don't know how far away you feel you have drifted from Allah (swt), but I can't imagine that Allah would not gladly welcome you back. The question is do you want to come back, or do you want to continue on your own way? I'm not Muslim, I don't know that you have to choose between this boy and Allah. But I do know that God does expect us to submit ourselves to his will in our lives, and right now you yourself have said that you are choosing to live outside of it. But it sounds like you are feeling the loss of that connection. Maybe you too have gotten so far away that even the hogs are doing better than you?

While I believe that God is always faithful and always loves us, I think there comes a point for many people when they not only have ventured so far from God that they have trouble finding their way back, sadly I have seen some people who have gotten so far from God they even had trouble recognizing when he was trying to get close to them, and they just kept moving farther and farther away. Sometimes becoming hard, or bitter, building a fence aroudn themselvs with a sign telling God to Keep Out. And because God gives us the freedom to make choices (including mistakes) for ourselves, he respects such a sign. But at the end of life, we are so far away, that it is nearly impossible to make it back home. I pray that you haven't drifted so far from God that you no longer wish to include him in your life. And if you do wish to include him, that you will choose to submit to a little more of his will. If you do, I think you might then experience a little more of that presence that you are looking for. I wish you were a Christian, there are a few more things I might say, but for a Christian grandpa that is about the best advice I can give to you right now.

I take that back. There is one other story I want to tell you. This one is of me and my wife. I'm old enough that the first cars I drove did not have bucket seats up front like most cars today do. There was just a bench seat that went all the way across the front. It was the thing to do when going for a drive with your girlfriend for her to slide across the seat so that she could sit right next to you. Well, one day, when we had been married a few years and settled into the routine of life, my wife turns to me as we went for a drive to look at the pretty fall leaves and says, "You know we used to always sit so close when we went for drives like this. What happened?"

I turned to her and said, "I don't know, but I can tell you one thing, I didn't move." Fortunately, she scooted back over next to me.

Maybe you're needing to do the same thing, because if you're not feeling him, I don't think Allah has moved.

 

[shudnt_have]

Muslim. I just looked up deism in detail, and although it is interesting I wouldn't say I was a deist.

Muj4h1d4, yes I did read your post, and I answered a few of your questions in my previous post

Woodrow, that was a lovely reply and I thank you, but giving up someone I love so much just seems like a huge mistake. I know I'm only young, but at this point I really don't want to get married to somebody else later on in life. I know he isn't muslim so marrying him would cause problems, but that's not what I'm talking about.. I just don't want to regret leaving someone so special behind.
The thought just makes me really, really sad.. just reading your post made me cry.

I'm not saying you're wrong, in fact you seem more right, but my heart seems to tell me otherwise..

sweetheart salaams, Read what you wrote. and read it again if you can't reflect on it right away. What would your parents reaction be after they find out the truth? (if they havent already?) OK for the whole sleeping deal. (God al mighty forgive us all) this moment is suppose to be so special for a virgin when she gets married..and gets everyone's(including her parents blessings and more importantly, ALLAH's for safe-guarding her chastity) you missed out on all this. For Allah is most forgiving, you can make this relationship completely enjoyable and tension free for yourself..if you guys get married..(i know if you guys are mature enough to make such a big decision(like you did), why not the full adults and live your lives as adults, married man and woman?

 

[------]

:salamext:

That really scares me.. :-(
How do I know what my heart really is trying to tell me?

You said it yourself....

but deep down my heart tells me not to feel guilty because I haven't harmed anybody through this happiness.

Would a believer's heart think like that? You think you haven't harmed anyone, but have you thought about the harm you've inflicted upon yourself? You've entered into a sexual relationship without marriage, you've lied to your parents, you've lost your virginity to an Atheist, you go to concerts... Think about it sister.

At the end of the day, you have to feel regret for your actions, and if you don't do that then I doubt anyone will be able to help you further....Get me?

 

[Ummu Sufyaan]

well sis. all i can say to you is that by reading your post being with this non-muslimman, who you obvioulsy have deep respect for, has influenced you to the extent of qning islam. why do you want someone like that?

I get so so scared about what will happen to me when I die

good! that is a really good feeling to have. what are u waiting for? get to know allah.

I don't see how this is fair?

it is really isn't up to us to question or religion in this way. allah has set specific rules. its not 'im gonna do it this way because i like to, and it suits me' sweetie, nothing in this dunya wors like that. what about when it comes to islam.
please dont take offence to any of the above. i dont intend it.

 

[IbnAbdulHakim]

:salamext:

At the end of the day, you have to feel regret for your actions, and if you don't do that then I doubt anyone will be able to help you further....Get me?

Assalamu Alaikum wa Rahmatullaah

this is the reason i didnt take my advice further,

if ones heart feels no shame or regret about the oppression its inflicted upon itself and the oppression which is waiting to be inflicted on others (parents/family etc) then how can one even begin to realise the greatness of their misdeeds?

this sister needs help, but i think it should be done 1-to-1 , in MSN or in real life....

 

[anonymous]

Who created this person that you love? just think about it for a while sis...when we are stuck in our desires sometimes we forget the reality of life...

 

[Ghira]

I think the reason why you posted that may be because you feel complete regret and that is a sign from your Creator that you are getting involved in something extremely harmful to you. You thinking about how close death can be is another mercy from your Creator that what you are doing is harmful. I suggest you learn more about you deen and life. I have been in your shoes and I was "in love" but as a young person you have a lot to learn what love actually means. For you own benefit try your best to get out of this situation you created for yourself, and have better company of true Muslims. It is hard depending on your location and your understanding of deen. Not going to give you a lecture but I make du'a Allah guides you and helps you understand what love is.

One last thing sister the Prophet (saw) defined sin for us as "Something you feel uneasy about in your heart if you perform the action OR you are afraid someone else might see you perform the action."

That is definition and your issue meets the criteria.

I pray for the best for you Sister. Oh, how I wish you could learn from my mistakes.

 

[sinner??]

aslam u alaikum.

sister the best advice i can give u is to listen to DR ZAKIR NAIK .

 

[------]

:salamext:

LOL, he does comparitive religion lectures, not about love *rollseyes*

 

[mohammed_seth]

lol dr naik has alot knowledge but not all the answers to peoples situation

sister why dont you also see as as this a test from allah to you. to see what you follow
and who do love more..

this boy is non beliver and he will take you far from you beloved lord which in my opnion he alredy has and i tell you now the love of this world will be more to him then the love he has for you

you true callling in this world was to devote your love to the all mighty which im sad to say you are from

i pray inshallah that you will see what is right

 

[Grace Seeker]

this sister needs help, but i think it should be done 1-to-1 , in MSN or in real life....

I think the brother makes a point.

Noor, you've gotten advice from many people here. Some of it you are going to find more helpful than others. Evaluate not based on whether they said what you wanted to hear, but whether they said what they said in a way that you could hear it. Then, rather continue the conversations you need to have with them in a place that is quickly cluttered with competing ideas as an open post, find a place that is free from the distraction of all the other voices. Seek their more personal counsel their via PM, private email, with a trusted sister there in your community or whatever other means are available to you.

Praying for you that you can find someone you trust to walk with you through this to an end that brings you back to be walking on your lifepath toward Allah and also leaves your personal sense of self still intact.