Confusion / Depression / Anger = Losing Islam

[hisnameiszzz]

Salaams all,

I'm in a bit of a rut at the moment and need a bit of advice. I'm really sorry to bother you all again, but I truly hope someone can point me in the right direction.

You all know the problems I am having with both sets of heinous neighbours, it still hasn't changed. I cry and pray and beg from Allah on a daily basis to help me out but nothing seems to be happening (I don't expect a magical lightning bolt to shoot down from the sky and kill both sets of neighbours in one fell swoop, but I would like a house close by to come up on the market which is decently priced and affordable - I'm not being unrealistic). A lack of sleep and tiredness has sent my mind into overdrive. I get very angry towards Allah and end up saying crazy things like "Well it's obvious he doesn't care about me and being a good person and following the Holy Book means nothing to him hence me suffering like this". I am sure most of us have gone through that phase at some stage in life.

Anyway, I still go to the Masjid and I pray the Qura'an, pray tasbeehs, but now it seems like I am just going through the motions. When I am praying Salat in the Masjid, the thoughts going through my head tend to be "Why am I wasting my time here?", "Why did I even bother coming here?" etc. I know these thoughts I am having are evil and I should be ashamed of myself, but I can't help but feel them. I start praying tasbeeh and I pray Surah Yaseen when I am having these thoughts, but the thoughts seems to be stronger and take over my mind. I've almost done 2 khathams so please don't think I am just sitting on my backside doing nothing and just thinking crazy thoughts. I love praying the Qura'an.

I just don't know what to do anymore. I don't want to give up on Islam, it's what I have known all my life, but what can someone in my predicament do? I want to be a good Muslim, I want to follow all the rules and regulations etc, but the lack of sleep is really getting to me. I've tried some of the previous ailments you have mentioned such as going to a hotel, sleeping with ear plugs in and various other things, but nothing seems to be working. I've even overdosed on sleeping pills, but obviously my time has not come and I didn't die, in fact, I didn't even get any sleep.

I am a natural worrier, Allah made me that way, I didn't ask for him to make me like that, it's just how it is. I can't switch off and not worry. My Mom is elderly now and quite poorly, one of my family members has learning difficulties and one has a big operation coming up so I am constantly worried about them also, on top of all this harassment. I have heard of CBT and have tried that, but it makes no difference at all.

I feel like my Islam is slipping away slowly and the thoughts going through my mind are enough to make anyone jump off a cliff.

Also, with it being Ramadhan and all the satans / devils being locked up, if I am having these thoughts, does it mean I actually am an evil person and maybe that's why my prayers are never accepted, and if so, is there really any point in me praying and making an effort? I keep reading that Allah only tests someone up until their limit, and I have reached my limit, so why won't it stop now? I genuinely cannot take anymore.

If I approached an Imam and spoke to him about this, what are the chances he would actually listen? What if he gets really angry with me because of the rubbish coming out of my mouth?

 

[MuslimInshallah]

Eid Mubarak ZZZ,


I have no idea what the imam you might approach might say, as I don't know the imam in question. (smile) Perhaps you could approach more than one? Sort of like looking for a doctor? It can be useful to get several opinions about serious problems…

(pensively) I've been thinking about the shayateen being chained. And it seems to me that this does't mean that you can't hear their misleading whispers during Ramadan; it just means that they are restrained somewhat. Muted a bit, if you like. Sort of like as if a person was in chains. It would be harder for the person to assault you, but not impossible.

As for your prayers… genuine prayers are always Accepted. But this doesn't mean that we get what we ask for. It may be that we will get something else, that is ultimately better for us, either in this World, or the Next. (smile) Or both.

I know it is very difficult for you, ZZZ. And I know that chronic lack of sleep is damaging both for your physical as well as emotional health. It is so much easier to succumb to shaitan's whispers when we are sick or tired. When we are vulnerable. (smile) I think you've been really holding on well all this time. (smile) And I hope that your venting your exasperation on this Forum helps you find some measure of comfort.

(smile) Hold on there, ZZZ. You are in my prayers.


May Allah, the Designer, Help us to perceive the good in our trials.

 

[greenhill]

" I just don't know what to do anymore. I don't want to give up on Islam, it's what I have known all my life, but what can someone in my predicament do? I want to be a good Muslim, I want to follow all the rules and regulations etc, but the lack of sleep is really getting to me. "

Just curious, how would giving up the deen help?

eace:

 

[hisnameiszzz]

Eid Mubarak ZZZ,

I have no idea what the imam you might approach might say, as I don't know the imam in question. (smile) Perhaps you could approach more than one? Sort of like looking for a doctor? It can be useful to get several opinions about serious problems…

(pensively) I've been thinking about the shayateen being chained. And it seems to me that this does't mean that you can't hear their misleading whispers during Ramadan; it just means that they are restrained somewhat. Muted a bit, if you like. Sort of like as if a person was in chains. It would be harder for the person to assault you, but not impossible.

As for your prayers… genuine prayers are always Accepted. But this doesn't mean that we get what we ask for. It may be that we will get something else, that is ultimately better for us, either in this World, or the Next. (smile) Or both.

I know it is very difficult for you, ZZZ. And I know that chronic lack of sleep is damaging both for your physical as well as emotional health. It is so much easier to succumb to shaitan's whispers when we are sick or tired. When we are vulnerable. (smile) I think you've been really holding on well all this time. (smile) And I hope that your venting your exasperation on this Forum helps you find some measure of comfort.

(smile) Hold on there, ZZZ. You are in my prayers.


May Allah, the Designer, Help us to perceive the good in our trials.

Auntie MI,

Eid Mubarak to you also, and to everyone else that has been following my story.

The people next door were slamming away until gone 4am, so by the time I fell to sleep, I was so agitated and worked up, I woke up late and have not had a good day at all. I feel poorly and ill, but at least I got to see my nephews and niece which cheered me up a bit.

I am loving your idea of approaching a few Moulana's/Imam's. I've already collected phone numbers for 3 and they all live in different towns so they won't actually know me by name, so I will be able to speak to them in a candid manner and be fully open and honest. If they ask me for my name, I will say Abdullah even though it is not my real name. Also, I will get a few different opinions which is always helpful. I really hope to get this sorted and done soon. I have some time off work, so I will contact them via telephone and see if they do surgeries or if people can meet them in person. I don't have much confidence in person, so please pray I am able to do this.

I would love to contact the ex Imam at my local Masjid, but he is a good family friend and he knows I am from a decent family, so to go to him and tell him how I feel and what is going through my mind is actually very embarrassing. Also, when I was in his class as Madrassah, I was awarded exemplary student of the year (I'm not boasting but I just want you guys to know I am actually a decent person and not some sort of head case who spouts complaints and rubbish online) so for me to speak the crazy thoughts going through my mind would just be plain scary. I know he would totally sympathise with me because he continually tells everyone in his bayaans that harming or being anti social to a non Muslim is a huge sin and that harming or terrorising a Muslim is an even bigger sin. It's a shame people don't listen to the bayaans and let the words sink in! Whenever I see him in the Masjid or out and about, he always makes time for me, but like I said, it would just be a bit too awkward for me to speak to him.

I am so glad about the Satan bit also, it's good to know I am not evil or Satan even!

And I genuinely and honestly apologise to anyone who thinks I am annoying and harping on about the same thing over and over again. I really am struggling with it and I would just love some advice from all your intelligent and learned Muslims.

 

[hisnameiszzz]

" I just don't know what to do anymore. I don't want to give up on Islam, it's what I have known all my life, but what can someone in my predicament do? I want to be a good Muslim, I want to follow all the rules and regulations etc, but the lack of sleep is really getting to me. "

Just curious, how would giving up the deen help?

eace:

I don't actually want to give up deen. I have been praying for years on end and nothing seems to have happened. Like I said, I don't expect a killer resolution, I don't expect a lightning bolt from the sky. But if there was something that helped me in moving away from this awful people, then that is what I praying for, be it a house in immediate area that is reasonably priced, or that I miraculously became a really heavy sleeper and that the noise would no longer bother me or that the awful people get hidaayat and finally start following Huquqool Ibaad.

If I wanted to give up deen, I am sure I would have done it a very long time ago and not even bothered contacting any Imams or coming on to a site like this to ask for help and advice. People at work have told me to get myself a couple of bottles of alcohol and that will take away all the pain and worry and noise. Repeat on a daily basis and all will be good. Some of my friends have also told me about drugs and how they could help. I've not followed any of their advice because it's not the way I want to go. Also, people at work who are atheists normally say "well you go to the Mosque and you pray to Allah, where is he then?" which has put thoughts into my head.

I am not a perfect Muslim and I know my prayers should probably not be accepted because of this, but this is plain torture and it's really getting me down and doing my head in.

I know there are people all over the world suffering much more than me, for instance, in Palestine / Burma / Syria etc, and I genuinely do feel for them, but this is my own personal dilemma and the hurt I feel is awful. I just don't see any way out unless ... well ... I end my life or something actually finally happens.

Please if anyone has any advice, pm me or post on here.

 

[Scimitar]

Bro Hisnameiszzz, you have a PM

Scimi

 

[greenhill]

Ok, I get it. That is 'frustration' speaking and not 'intention' speaking. Just be aware of what is said and should try to separate the two from being bundled together.. :exhausted

Best wishes.

eace:

 

[hisnameiszzz]

Salaams.

Thanks for the kind pm Scimi, I will reply tomorrow.

Greenhill, it's not by choice. Absolutely not. I'm not like some of the people I know who turned their backs on Islam because they couldn't get the job they wanted etc. I'm not fickle like that. I would have walked away from Islam intentionally ages ago if that was my intention.

There was loud hammering in the attic again last night after midnight and again this morning just after 8am. I wonder what they get out of doing all this? I felt like going round and smacking one of them, but I know my Mom would have said "how unIslamic of you to think like that and do such things", so I didn't. She doesn't suffer with the sleepless nights like me, her diabetes medication knocks her out or so she says.

Please all say a prayer for me, I really need some sleep. I'm taking 2 sleeping tablets instead of 1 tonight, so I hope I can get some rest. I'm absolutely shattered from the lack of sleep and from crying. Boohoo!

 

[Abz2000]

I think i know that feeling, where you think "all i need is an ak or a sledge hammer, why does God allow them to mess about and expect me to sit tight?"
i found the punchbag would help remove the frustration in a positive way sometimes - but not always.

 

[Karl]

I see you live in the UK. Are you as pale as the local yokels or are you black or brown? The problem could be lack of sunshine and vitamin D if you have dark skin. This can cause depression and all sorts of mental problems.

 

[hisnameiszzz]

I think i know that feeling, where you think "all i need is an ak or a sledge hammer, why does God allow them to mess about and expect me to sit tight?"
i found the punchbag would help remove the frustration in a positive way sometimes - but not always.

Salaams,

Indeed that is how I feel. Now don't get me wrong, I am not being a super diva. I understand noise is going to happen from neighbours regardless of who they are, but when it is done on purpose, it does drive you absolutely bonkers. Having a punch bag sounds like an awesome idea but how would it help if the things next door constantly slam doors at night and early into the morning and I end up throwing up?

Questioning Allah is wrong, and I fully understand that, but when it is on a day to day basis that you are being deprived of sleep it really does get to you. It says in Islamic quotes and what not that Allah only tests a person until their limits, but what if the tests carry on happening? For instance, I came home from work today and one of the nasty neighbours kept slamming one of the doors. Well I have had a long and tiring day at work, and all I wanted was a bit of rest and relaxation after last nights door slamming antic which went on until 2.30am! I didn't get much sleep last night and now I am absolutely shattered and again, full of nerves.

My Mother will not move from this house. All her support network is here - her sister lives in the opposite street, brother in the street opposite to that etc. Plus my Mother is housebound as she is disabled. I have tried to cajole her into moving, initially she will say yes, but then she changes her mind and she is having none of it. Why she feels staying in this house 24/7 and suffering the noise pollution is good is beyond me.

I have no idea what I am typing about now I am so tired.

Please pray for me all.

 

[czgibson]

Greetings,

Have you tried informing the authorities about your noisy neighbours? If they're making excessive noise between 11pm and 7am then they are in breach of the law.

It could be worth a try: Report a noise nuisance to your council

I hope things work out for you.

Peace

 

[Karl]

Get some earplugs.

 

[Venresia]

Salam, this is my first time at this forum and yours was the first post I read. Listen to Czgibson and report your issue. I don't know a lot about your history with your neighbourhood but have you tried to talk to them before? Do they know how noisy they are? If you let the authorities know they will send a letter to them informing them about complaints in the neighbourhood and asking them to keep down the noise between 11pm and 7am. They may need just that to realise what they are doing. If they still won't stop making noise you can report them again so the police would talk to them. By low they can't keep you up all night. Other option is to go to the CBA (citizen advisor bureau ) for advice. They also have a website, you can email them if you like. Hope it helps.

 

[hisnameiszzz]

Salaams all,

Hope everyone is OK.


I think I've come to the end of the line with all this drama. Frustration is an understatement as to how I am feeling. I think I have gone without sleep for 6 days and I just cannot take it anymore.


I won't be posting on here anymore (I think you know what that means but I won't be typing it out as it makes me feel disgusting), but thank you to each and everyone of you for going on my journey with me. I have harassed you numerous times with my constant posts and topics and I can only apologise for that. I know you have all spent a lot of time offering me advice and assistance, but it seems I cannot get anyone to help me when it comes to the Council / Police. My GP suggested I am under a lot of pressure and stress and offered me a sick note, but my Lord, I would rather go to work tired than stay at home next to this racket. I've tried so hard to understand why a family of humans would go out of their way to make another families life hell, but I just cannot work it out. We have done not a thing wrong to them, but they make us suffer non stop. They know my Dad died a few years ago and that my older brother is a wimp and they are taking non stop advantage of this. My Mom is elderly and cannot argue with them anymore. She is tired and ill. Besides why should we have to fight for our rights. Them being supposed Muslims should respect our rights as their neighbours, but anyway, I digress.


Sister MUSLIMINSHALLAH, I have sent you an email, it would be nice if you kept in touch, but I understand if you are really busy and / or have things going on in your life / don't want to listen to any more of my dramas. Had it not been for you, I would have killed myself by now. I really appreciate all the long messages you have sent me and all the advice and support also. I have taken up so much of your time and you have always been wonderful to me. I am nothing but a stranger on the internet and you do not know me from Adam, but you took me under your wing and gave me the support I desperately needed when no one else could help me. I wish the "things" living next to me were like you. My life would be such a better place and I would have been able to have followed Islam fully. I have spoken to my Mom about you, and she agrees that you are a wonderful human being. Thanks to the others who have also pm'd me with support and advice.


Thanks to all of you for your support and kindness over the last year.


I wish you all well. I hope your life brings you happiness and prosperity.

 

[Insaanah]

I won't be posting on here anymore (I think you know what that means but I won't be typing it out as it makes me feel disgusting)

As our brother in Islam, and fellow forum member, we have a duty to look out for you, and to divert you away from bad ideas, and to help encourage and give strength and advice regarding practical action where we can.

If it means what I think it means, then no, you cannot allow yourself or be driven to do that brother.

Even though you are facing a very difficult hardship, the hardship of the option it seems you might choose is far worse, possibly for eternity. Anything then you suffered in this world will seem like nothing by comparison. Whereas persevering in hardship brings immense reward, such that we cannot even begin to imagine.

Stay strong brother, and please stay with us. By sabr, even if it is for a prolonged period, even if they are still banging doors, in a way you have not let them win. Do not let your neighbours win by driving you to ruin your own future with your own hands.

Please.

:jz:

There has to be something that can be done about these "neighbours". Who knows one day they may suddenly move out.

May Allah grant you every relief and a way out from every hardship and rectify all your affairs, and grant you strength, ameen.

 

[OmAbdullah]

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

The sounds that you hear may not be from the neighbors but from jinns!!! We have the experience.
The sounds made by jinns may be without any reason or may be due to black magic done by someone. In this case a special jinn is appointed to do the disturbances.

The treatment is to read Aayatul-kursi 3 times at least or up to 7 times after maghrib (evening ) prayer, and also the same number in the morning. Aayatul-kursi is in the suratul Baqarah verse 255. If it is an ordinary case, the sounds will insha Allah, stop urgently. But in case of black magic you have to say full Ruqiyah + Aayatul –Kursi. The most important surahs to be read in this case are:
Surah Al-Ikhlaas -----3 times or more,
= Al-Falaq------- = = = =
= Al-Naas-------= = = =
Aayatul-Kursi---- = = = 7 times.
Also surah Al-Faatihah 3times.

Also it is very important to make our/your faith strong and pure. We and you all must believe that:

1. Allah Almighty does not need anything from us while we need everything and every kind of help from Allah.

2.The punishments in the Hereafter are much more severe and lasting than the troubles in this world. We are surely returning to Allah and we have no way of escape. Therefore in any case of trouble we must turn to Allah in repentance, obedience and humbleness. We must do lots of astaghfaar and must pray to Allah to protect us from becoming fitnah to the wicked people, whether jinn or human beings.

As a result of this belief your prayers must become much better. You should think that you are oppressed by some oppressors, so Allah will surely answer your du’aa and will help you. With this hope you should discard anger against Allah and become polite from inside. Allah does not reject the du’aa of mazloom (oppressed one).

Satan is our open enemy. When you hear sounds made by jinns etc. Satan turns your anger towards Allah as if it is Allah Who is oppressing you! This is very wrong expectation from Allah and is very dangerous for your eimaan and Islam. So to fail Satan, you must become close to Allah by du’aa, humbleness and more prayers. You should never say that you will leave Islam or that you will leave making prayers.

Moreover you should never say that you would have killed yourself, even you should not think about such action. This is again a satanic idea which if acted upon, the person will become a dweller of the Hell-fire forever. Therefore, again and again say tawbah to Allah and pray to Allah with humbleness to protect you from any such action. Pray to Allah to protect you, us and all of the Muslims from Hell as well as from Allah’s wrath in this world. Allah has sent down the du’aa of the great Prophets like Musa and Ibraheem alaihima salaam, they prayed to Allah not to make them fitnah for the cruel people.

Another important point is that you must check all of your actions, there should be nothing against the Will and Command of Allah. Especially the source of earning/ income must be halaal (lawful). If the source of income is not halaal then worship and du’aa is not accepted.

Insha Allah, with aayatul-Kursy and the other surahs, sounds will stop. It is not reasonable that human neighbors will make such noises at midnight but it is surely expected from jinns if one doesn't protect oneself with the Aayatul-Kursey. The Prophet Muhammad salla Allaho alaihi wa sallam also has advised us to read Allah's names after maghrib prayer daily to protect ourselves from many balaas (harmful creatures). May Allah give you comfort in both the worlds, aameen.

 

[zyma123]

the beauty of a challenge is the mindset. Read the caliphas and the greatest prophet Muhammad Peace Be Upon Him and you will realize that the value of a religion is how you respond to the most difficult situations. There is an hadith that states Anger is haram. And Hazrat Ali states that a man who stands up with anger will sit down with regret. This focuses on how we need to see anger and depression. So, irrespective of your sitation, you need to be calm.
In quran you will get so many good verses related to patience and belief. these are all tests. how can you let something so small let it destroy you. Life = passing away of time. the objective is for you to believe and remain firm to Allah. rest is the passing of moments. so take things in the largest pretext of things.

 

[hisnameiszzz]

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

The sounds that you hear may not be from the neighbors but from jinns!!! We have the experience.
The sounds made by jinns may be without any reason or may be due to black magic done by someone. In this case a special jinn is appointed to do the disturbances.

The treatment is to read Aayatul-kursi 3 times at least or up to 7 times after maghrib (evening ) prayer, and also the same number in the morning. Aayatul-kursi is in the suratul Baqarah verse 255. If it is an ordinary case, the sounds will insha Allah, stop urgently. But in case of black magic you have to say full Ruqiyah + Aayatul –Kursi. The most important surahs to be read in this case are:
Surah Al-Ikhlaas -----3 times or more,
= Al-Falaq------- = = = =
= Al-Naas-------= = = =
Aayatul-Kursi---- = = = 7 times.
Also surah Al-Faatihah 3times.

Also it is very important to make our/your faith strong and pure. We and you all must believe that:

1. Allah Almighty does not need anything from us while we need everything and every kind of help from Allah.

2.The punishments in the Hereafter are much more severe and lasting than the troubles in this world. We are surely returning to Allah and we have no way of escape. Therefore in any case of trouble we must turn to Allah in repentance, obedience and humbleness. We must do lots of astaghfaar and must pray to Allah to protect us from becoming fitnah to the wicked people, whether jinn or human beings.

As a result of this belief your prayers must become much better. You should think that you are oppressed by some oppressors, so Allah will surely answer your du’aa and will help you. With this hope you should discard anger against Allah and become polite from inside. Allah does not reject the du’aa of mazloom (oppressed one).

Satan is our open enemy. When you hear sounds made by jinns etc. Satan turns your anger towards Allah as if it is Allah Who is oppressing you! This is very wrong expectation from Allah and is very dangerous for your eimaan and Islam. So to fail Satan, you must become close to Allah by du’aa, humbleness and more prayers. You should never say that you will leave Islam or that you will leave making prayers.

Moreover you should never say that you would have killed yourself, even you should not think about such action. This is again a satanic idea which if acted upon, the person will become a dweller of the Hell-fire forever. Therefore, again and again say tawbah to Allah and pray to Allah with humbleness to protect you from any such action. Pray to Allah to protect you, us and all of the Muslims from Hell as well as from Allah’s wrath in this world. Allah has sent down the du’aa of the great Prophets like Musa and Ibraheem alaihima salaam, they prayed to Allah not to make them fitnah for the cruel people.

Another important point is that you must check all of your actions, there should be nothing against the Will and Command of Allah. Especially the source of earning/ income must be halaal (lawful). If the source of income is not halaal then worship and du’aa is not accepted.

Insha Allah, with aayatul-Kursy and the other surahs, sounds will stop. It is not reasonable that human neighbors will make such noises at midnight but it is surely expected from jinns if one doesn't protect oneself with the Aayatul-Kursey. The Prophet Muhammad salla Allaho alaihi wa sallam also has advised us to read Allah's names after maghrib prayer daily to protect ourselves from many balaas (harmful creatures). May Allah give you comfort in both the worlds, aameen.

Thanks for the really cute post. I've just logged on after a very long time.

Now please don't get me wrong as I am not trying to be nasty or moo like to you, but let me assure you there are no jinns. It is the evil family from next door. Having lived next door to these heathens all my life, I know exactly who is where. The evil Mother stomps around like a fat elephant and you can hear her footsteps. The nasty daughter is the evil one who hoovers after midnight and slams doors incessantly. "It" is in the room adjacent to mine and I can hear her slamming around and what not. The awful son runs up and down steps like a herd of elephants rolled into one.

But thanks all the same for your post.