Contact for father after marriage

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Dear all, ASA,

I desperatly need advise. I am divorced my X remarried in 3 months to someone i used to know v. well. She had 2 daughters who are very similar in age as my 2 boys. I dont want to send them to have overnight contact now (they are all around 8 yrs old now) because when they are older and can't spend the nights due to male /female issues, this will cause me problems with my boys who will then resent me for not allowing them to have overnight contact with their dad. He (the x) refuses to talk to me and has not considered this matter at all. In a english court of law they are allowed overnight contact. Does anyone have any hadith that can support my decision? Please
 
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Wa alaikum asalam

Interesting question, inshaAllah someone can help.
 
only thing you can do is talk to him about it and be firm.


life is full of hard decisions like this, and you must follow islam and your heart to find whats right.


may Allah guide us all


Assalamu Alaikum
 
You should allow you sons to spend nights with their father but stress that the boys and girls arent left alone at any time at all. Even if they were older, as long as they are not alone they can sit in a family gathering, provided there is no haram entertainment involved. But from my experience sister, once your sons are older and are busy with their studies as well as new friends and interests, you may find they don't want to spend much time at their father's anyway. Divorce is never easy for children, so allowing them to stay overnight at their father's will make feel their father is still in their life. Set guidelines as to what is allowed and what isn't but please don't stop them.

Edit: Oh and also start teaching your sons the etiquette of being around non mahram females and keep on drumming it into their heads as they get older.
 
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Modsister, there is no hadith that we can give you about something like that. I would advise you to follow Scents of Jannah suggestion in teaching your children (don't nag or you'll lose their interest and then you'll make them rebellious) about mahram and how to treat girls and how to maintain Islamic courtesy and etiquette. You can't prevent them from going, the father has rights too.

Additionally, under Islamic Shariah they should be going towards his physical custody as well pretty soon anyway (I think so, the marriage might be an adjusting factor. Check with an expert if it is a matter of importance to you), which means if you refuse now, they will go and live there unprepared when they are at a critical age.

Good luck and God bless.
 
i never realized step brothers/sisters could break wudu after all this time, i just asked my mom
jeesh i'm slow
salaam
 

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