contolling ur anger

Marina-Aisha

Marina-Aisha

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okay so sometimes i loose my temper, sometimes i swear (i know totally bad)and sometimes im wearing my hijaab...how bad is that? also any handing tips to control it?
 
:sl:


by Maha Youssuf

A man came to the Prophet (may peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) and asked him (Peace and blessings be upon him) for advice. He (Peace and blessings be upon him) said,

“Do not become angry.” The man repeated his request for advice, and each time, the Prophet replied with this one phrase that sums up all good attitudes and behavior: “Do not become angry.” (Bukhari)

While you may not be able to avoid people’s anger and aggressive attitudes, you can surely deal with such situations in a wise and productive manner.

Anger can be like a fire. And you can’t possibly combat fire by another spark of fire, or pouring fuel onto it – this would result in a massive fire that would swallow everybody, including yourself. Whereas pouring water onto fire will curb it, if not end it entirely. Having a calm, tolerant temper can combat anger like water extinguishes fire.

Reacting calmly and tolerantly to an angry situation might first seem passive – but who cares! If you want to just add fuel to the fire, the situation will probably spiral out of control and end up in a fight of unpredictable magnitude.

I agree that being a calm, tolerant person does require a lot of self-discipline, which is normally “difficult”.

Here are some time-tested tips for averting anger:


1. You have to understand that anger is not a matter of power or ability.
“The strong man is not the one who can wrestle, but it is the one who can control himself when he is angry.” (Bukhari)

2. Regard anger as an infection
Keep due distance from those ill-tempered people, regardless of the extent of their anger and the reason behind it. Don’t react in a manner that will signal hatred. Doing so will probably just exacerbate the anger and exasperate the situation.

3. Feel free to delay your reaction
It won’t bruise your dignity nor tarnish your image. You can end your presence in this situation. Whether physically or if it’s a phone conversation, or a virtual presence with chatting, and react later when you’re mentally ready to deal positively with the situation.

4. Keep the interest of the Muslim community in mind.
”Do not be angry with each other and do not envy each other and do not turn away from each other, and be slaves of Allah, brothers. It is not halal for a Muslim to shun his brother for more than three nights.” (Imam Malik’s Muwatta)

5. React with a calming statement.
For example, “I understand how you feel, I know you must be angry, etc. Try and avert the angered person from thoughts that continue to anger them.

6. A few kind words can have a surprising effect.
Reverting the whole situation into a pleasant tone will help lessen tensions. On the other hand, harsh words trigger retaliation. Watch your words because they can set the tone for an entire situation.

7. Don’t become that person.
If you hate the attitude of the person who’s angry, know that reacting in a harsh manner will render you pretty much similar to him/her, so you’d better be careful.

Be strong and make your calm manner contain the situation. Be wise. Self-control is cornerstone to curbing people’s anger.

Remember that our beloved Prophet (Peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) never took revenge over a personal matter.

It is narrated that “The Prophet never took revenge for his own sake, but if the laws of Allah were violated, he would take revenge for the sake of Allah.”

Remain wise and apply the virtue of patience, which is your key tool to avert aggressive and anger attitudes.

Remember, the relationships and attitudes you cultivate within your life will impact your productivity.

So remain positive and avoid negativity!

About the author

Maha Youssuf is the Founder and Managing Director of The Muslim Tribune.
 
:sl:

Anger is only one letter short of danger.




“If one gets angry, let him keep silent.”

“If a man becomes angry and says ‘A^oodhu Billaah (I seek refuge with Allah),’ his anger will cease.”




The Holy Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) says: "Beware! Abstain from angering the parents.


The fragrance of Paradise is perceived even at a distance of a thousand years, but those who are disobedient to parents and those who cut off ties with relatives will not be able to smell it."



check another article here :


Tarbiya 14: Anger- Cool it!
http://myislamweb.com/forum/index.php?topic=20257.0
 
I try not to get angry (sometimes that is impossibleimsad), but I do have to admit to getting frustrated. When I do that, I just mentally step back, and think about what Allah would want me to do. And then I work on memorizing more of my Salat, which by the way is very difficult to do. Does anyone have any ideas on how to memorize. I am trying very hard, I don't want to just memorize some words, I want to feel what I am saying, so I am taking it one sentence at a time. Allahu Akbar, Allahu Akbar, Allahu Akbar.

Sunnie Ameena
 
im the worst when it comes to anger.. i know its always misplaced.

i can get through the whole day letting people by and moving out the way and then somebody that knows i need to switch lanes on the way to asda because iv been indicating for the past minute.. speeds up to close a gap that was more than just there.

felt so sad, like i should never be nice again.

...im probably not very nice.. but at least i know it.

anger management. buy a farm as soon as you can afford it... or just buy the farm.

just one of those things i guess.
 
:sl:

Jazaakallah khayr for all the advice given above.

I find it admirable when people who've become angry for whatever reason, realise that they need to control it and ask for help or seek measures to curb or control it.

On the other hand, there are those with prolonged severe anger, who will never admit they have a problem and will in fact insist that they are correct in being angry. Those closest to them bear the consequences of their anger. It can damage marriages, family relationships, the health of those it's inflicted on, property, everything, to the point where it's irreparable. And worst of all, is when those inflicting the anger are so blinded by it that they actually don't care about those important relationships falling apart.

May Allah save all Muslims from such anger, and may Allah save us from His anger and wrath, ameen.

:sl:
 
Eric H said:
Greetings and peace be with you marina-hadeya;

You might watch this Islamic video on anger, it tries to explain the differences between the things people find important in this life and the important things for an after life.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TTWn8CSM7Vw&feature=player_embedded

In the spirit of praying for an inner peace that surpasses all understanding.

Eric
Click to expand...

Thank you I'll check it out :) I'm not ones these people that looses there cool a lot but I don't like it, especially when I'm wearing my hijaab. Feel like when u wear that, people know ur Muslim so I feel u have show a good example. Thanx everyone for ur help, hope I'll get better controlling it :p
 

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