xxxangelxxx
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Hello, im 19years old and from the uk...i currently have no religion... a part of me believes to some extent the concept of god, life after death and being judged based on our deeds however ive never had a religion...things are very complicated for me at the moment.... im desperately trying to genuinely and sincerely accept and believe in islam in order for me to have a future with the man i love (which has now got a 100 times more difficult now he is back in his home country... sometimes i feel as though im totally lost and am wayyyy over my head for a 19 year old regular british teenager!)however doing it for him is of course not enough.... i need to convert because i genuinely and truley believe in it...however im finding it extreamly difficultto convince myself to believe in something i dnt believe in...how do i begin to believe that the quran is the message from god and that Muhammad (pbuh) is the last messanger??
Im looking for western muslim converts who have similar experiences to myself to talk to and help me understand and believe...there are so many rules which my boyfriend expects me to follow and its so difficult to complettly change my life for him... ive virtually completley given up smoking and drinking (i say “virtually” because although i haven’t done it for a while i can not guarantee that without belief i have the willpower to permantly refrain from it)... however i need to wear “appropriate” clothing...not hug guys....leave pork....only eat halal meat...etc...and many of these rules are ok... but i find myself really struggling with some of these...i feel asthough i am becoming a puppet and loosing my identity and independence and that scares me... how do western converts learn that all that stuff which is such a normal part of your life for so long doesn’t matter anymore??
Im also looking for books... i need a hard copy of the quran but i need one which is in clear modern “normal” English...i cant read anything which sounds even slightly shakespearian and understand it for the life of me...i need a quran which is written in a way that is clear and easy to understand the point which are made...i guess i also need haddiths too?... what do i even get such books from?
Id also like to learn to pray...i guess im kindda hopeing if i prayed my faith would come from somewhere...however listening to the online voice clips i really don’t seem to be able to say them how they are said...its hard to explain but certain sounds i don’t know how to make... its weird...cant i say it in English?
I need help please.... from people who may actually understand the situation i am in...and theres no-one i know who could possibly understand this...even my boyfriend says that i follow many things of the quran such as being a good person etc so he doesn’t understand why i cant convert and thinks it my stubbornness and my fear of loosing independence which i guess to an extent it is... but its the fact that i need to convince myself that this “story” is infact a genuine undoutable fact!
Any help and advice is much appreciated and any offers to talk or anything feel free to add me on msn
...
Im looking for western muslim converts who have similar experiences to myself to talk to and help me understand and believe...there are so many rules which my boyfriend expects me to follow and its so difficult to complettly change my life for him... ive virtually completley given up smoking and drinking (i say “virtually” because although i haven’t done it for a while i can not guarantee that without belief i have the willpower to permantly refrain from it)... however i need to wear “appropriate” clothing...not hug guys....leave pork....only eat halal meat...etc...and many of these rules are ok... but i find myself really struggling with some of these...i feel asthough i am becoming a puppet and loosing my identity and independence and that scares me... how do western converts learn that all that stuff which is such a normal part of your life for so long doesn’t matter anymore??
Im also looking for books... i need a hard copy of the quran but i need one which is in clear modern “normal” English...i cant read anything which sounds even slightly shakespearian and understand it for the life of me...i need a quran which is written in a way that is clear and easy to understand the point which are made...i guess i also need haddiths too?... what do i even get such books from?
Id also like to learn to pray...i guess im kindda hopeing if i prayed my faith would come from somewhere...however listening to the online voice clips i really don’t seem to be able to say them how they are said...its hard to explain but certain sounds i don’t know how to make... its weird...cant i say it in English?
I need help please.... from people who may actually understand the situation i am in...and theres no-one i know who could possibly understand this...even my boyfriend says that i follow many things of the quran such as being a good person etc so he doesn’t understand why i cant convert and thinks it my stubbornness and my fear of loosing independence which i guess to an extent it is... but its the fact that i need to convince myself that this “story” is infact a genuine undoutable fact!
Any help and advice is much appreciated and any offers to talk or anything feel free to add me on msn
