Coping with Depression, stress and anger

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Re: Im so depressed :(

Tania,
You need to take a moment to sit back and review what you have said in your last five posts.

You are straying further away from Allah now can't you see that? You are saying He gave you more than you can bear and that you will never know happiness. Both of these things

You cannot expect Allah to help you if you insult Him. You are denying His truth here.

I know you are desperate and depressed, but think...
Is it possible this depression is being caused by the Shaytan to turn you away from God? Because you feel your lot is unfair and you're so miserable and now you are blaming Allah? You are letting the devil win over you!!

Tania, if you continue to concentrate on your depression and blaming Allah and your 'miserable' life then you know what this will lead you to...suicide.

Tania, stop this now!!!!
Get off your arrogant high horse and thank God for giving you each new day as an opportunity to repent. I know this is harsh, but your self pity has gone on long enough!!

You have a life, and you are throwing it away. Don't you want to be happy?!!
Its time to make a plan for yourself. God wants you to be happy, but you are allowing Shaytan to delude you! Now cop onto this and start saying 'A U-Dhu-Billahi-Minash-Shaytanir_Rajim when you feel these things and tell yourself you will not the evil one to overcome you with depressing thoughts!

This is your test : are you going to let the shaytan to have his way with you?
Are you that self obsessed that you will allow this to happen and then blame it on Allah?!?!?!

Sister, speak to the shaytan and tell him to get lost!!!!!!
And then go and do something good to make up for all this!
It will help your mental state and the state of your soul.

Get a grip now..you are a person with choices to make. Whats it going to be?
Heaven or Hell?
 
Re: Im so depressed :(

Medina83 said:
You are straying further away from Allah now can't you see that? You are saying He gave you more than you can bear and that you will never know happiness. Both of these things
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Both of these things are sinful and arrogant!
 
Re: Im so depressed :(

Do You Think This Is Easy For Me??? Do You Think I Want To Think Those Kind Of Things In My Head???

When You Try And Try And Wait Years And Years, Be As Patient As You Can, Pray As Much As You Can Even Though You've Been Through One Heavy Burden After The Other And You Don't See Anything Getting Better, Only Worse, Then Tell Me What Am I Supposed To Do? What Am I Supposed To Think? Nothing Is Helping Me, Like I Said, I Pray And Pray And My Life Is Miserable Beyond Belief!!!

You Lot Will Only Understand This Torture If You've Been Through It Yourselves, But You Obviously Haven't!!!!
 
Re: Im so depressed :(

"If anyone withdraws himself from Allah's remembrance, Most Gracious, We appoint for him an evil one to be his intimate companion." [43: 36.]


Hadith: "Remain conscious of Allah and fear Him wherever you are. And follow a bad deed with a good deed which will wipe it out, and behave well towards people."


Tania you're letting your emotions spiral out of control
Don't think we don't understand! You don't know our histories!!

I am being cruel to be kind and one day you might see it, but obviously not now.

Whatever you are supposed to think, its not that Allah is to blame!!!

Come on, you can't think that you're actions and decisions have had NO part to play in all this???

You are not helping yourself, you've given up on yourself!
 
Re: Im so depressed :(

Medina83 said:
"If anyone withdraws himself from Allah's remembrance, Most Gracious, We appoint for him an evil one to be his intimate companion." [43: 36.]


Hadith: "Remain conscious of Allah and fear Him wherever you are. And follow a bad deed with a good deed which will wipe it out, and behave well towards people."


Tania you're letting your emotions spiral out of control
Don't think we don't understand! You don't know our histories!!

I am being cruel to be kind and one day you might see it, but obviously not now.

Whatever you are supposed to think, its not that Allah is to blame!!!

Come on, you can't think that you're actions and decisions have had NO part to play in all this???

You are not helping yourself, you've given up on yourself!
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Yes, your right i've given up because now I know that nothing or no one will ever help me 'needing' him and 'wanting' him so desperately. My heart will never ever find peace! :enough!:
 
Re: Im so depressed :(

If he was the one for you, then you'd be with him, because Allah would have made it happen.

As you are not together, then he is not the one for you, it means there is someone else out there who is...

So why not go and find him?
 
Re: Im so depressed :(

Tanya, we hav all been tryin 2 giv u advice, ur not the only person who's had a hard life! u say ur not close 2 ur family but neither am i but they r my blood! I dnt think ur dad and sis can through u out 4 nothin, ok ur marriage has broken dwn but if u kept tryin wiv ur dad he may hav cum round, as regareds 2 my sis, i dnt get along wiv mine neither and we hav huge arguements but even if its her fault i always try and work things out wiv her> Life is 2 short!!!!!!
Ur actin so ungrateful 2 allah!!!
think about the positives that u hav in ur life!
U say u dnt hav any!
R u disabled?
No! thank allah 4 that!
R u starvin and hav no food!
Probably not!
Look at the people that r sufferin in iraq and in all the other countries in the world!!!!!
They r people that i feel sorry 4!
Ur dyin over sum idiot and 2 be honest u will only learn from ur own mistakes!
U will eventually realise in the future that woteve the brothers and sisters on this thread has sed 2 u has only been 4 the gud on ur behalf!
 
Re: Im so depressed :(

Tania, If you've given up on yourself thats one thing.
But don't give up on Allah.
Put your life and heart in His hands, and tell Him that you can't find the strength to get over this, and ask Him to help you.
Ask Him to give a true believer...and if you say this with all your heart, I sincerely believe He will help you...



To the person who sent me a PM: I cannot respond cos I don't have 50 posts yet, but I feel your pain. :)
 
Re: Im so depressed :(

Thank you everyone still having the patience to reply, even though I don't seem to be getting anything in to my thick head. I know so many of you have lost patience with me, I'm really sorry for everything.

I don't know what's wrong with me or my life. I asked a friend of mine if she thinks I should go see someone for help she also thinks i'm going crazy. Like a an Imam/Peer but she said they might do something to make my life worse, she said don't go there.
Does anyone else know what I can do to get help for these feelings within me? I need to know why I feel like someone has cursed me, because nothing has ever gone right in my life, everything I do has a hitch or hiccup, nothing makes me happy. Any advice will be very much appreciated.
 
Re: Im so depressed :(

Tanya, I want to ask you a very simple, but also serious question.

Do you see yourself as a person of worth in your own right?


Not based on how other people treat you, or the circumstances in life, but just as a person. Are you worth it for people, for God to care about you?
 
Re: Im so depressed :(

cant believe dis thread bin opem 4 so long n is stil at da TOP :rollseyes
 
Re: Im so depressed :(

For anyone who has feelings similar to those of Tanya, you should read and understand the lyrics of Native Deen's song Test.

Test

Lately things have been so stressed for you
It seems like life is trying to mess with you and pester you
You thought you knew exactly what to best pursue
You working hard on those things that you set to do
But you confess it's true that your success is few
And your folks are only helping in depressing you
You try to do the Deen but they be stressing you
And it gets to you but you suppress that too
An exam, you go and study day and night
You pray and write, hope for a grade you like
But when you get the test you're in dismay and fright
There's no A in sight and only 8 were right, wow!
And what about the sister you enquired about
She's so pious, devout that it required a scout
But then you get the news her Wali fired you out
They were wired, no doubt, to someone higher in clout
Lately its seems that your calling in life
Is just you falling in strife
The word appalling is right
And you notice you've been feeling sick, why who knows
So you call upon the doctor she can eye it close
She tells you I suppose, that you wont be very happy when I diagnose
Although you try your hardest not to cry it shows
It's a monster load, and your strength is sinking
You start wondering and thinking

What's going on? it seems all wrong, why am I the one struggling along?
I don't know why I'm hurting, I never hurt nobody
My life I'm living right, but it's crumbling around me
How strong is my faith this time? (got to pass the test)
Will my solution include Haram? (got to pass the test)
I gotta be strong during times like these, (got to pass the test)
I know after hardship there goes ease! (got to pass the test) It's a test, (from Allah), a test (from your Lord), it's a test (what you gonna do?), gotta realize it's a test

Folks used to say you were smarty kid
Others made mistakes but you hardly did
Since then man, life has just been marvelous
You stand tall like an obelisk
It's obvious
Your high paying job is never arduous
Your living in your crib and you got marble this and marble that
Others dream to rival that
And your blessed to never draw major debt
because success is your motto nothing keeps you down
Passing peeps in town, yo by leaps and bounds
People clapping when you talk because of deep renown
You drive Hummers and top model jeeps around
You know its bad and haram to be a miser and boast
But your healthier and wealthier and wiser than most
You gotta an adviser to those, who try to propose
Cause there's so many potentials that they line up in rows
You got it all, the power the money the wealth
Your thinking God's gotta love you more than anyone else
But wait Whoa wait a second, this isn't what your thinking
You gotta stop and think why you getting all the blessings
Don't want to let it shake ya, or let the devil make ya
Forget to praise Allah and then fail the test your taken
No doubt you're gonna try your best
Gotta be thankful and pray no less
Already gotta head up above the rest
Cause you realize this is just a test.

So face it, in life, you'll be tested at times
The devil, he's bright, don't let him mess with your mind
Yo, we're blessed, the Divine, which is the best for mankind
So He (God) gives us exams so don't get stressed out and whine
Even the best of all humanity was tested Himself
Allah can test us with calamity or test us with wealth
Can you hold back from profanity and focus yourself
Or maybe keep away from vanity and function in stealth
It's tough, trust me I know that it's rough
But after pain comes ease and you'll be blessed from above
I hope when the time for my test comes along I will cope and I'll find I'll be blessed when I'm strong
So my people, when life is a mess
You gotta focus and realize, this could be your test.

-----------

It makes a lot of sense.
 
Re: Im so depressed :(

tanya,
i understand that you are in pain, but i am going to be harsh with you anyway.
you have made a mistake of making another person your reason for living.
i think you need help - and this is nothing to be ashamed of.
i think your problem is not this guy at all, it is you and your lack of self esteem.
it is time to stop whining about this romance and direct your energies toward seeking help.
please get help and learn your own worth.
 
Re: Im so depressed :(

Grace Seeker said:
Tanya, I want to ask you a very simple, but also serious question.

Do you see yourself as a person of worth in your own right?


Not based on how other people treat you, or the circumstances in life, but just as a person. Are you worth it for people, for God to care about you?
Click to expand...


Sadly, I don't feel worthy of anything. I've been hurt by so many people in my life, not just this guy, i've been hurt by family and friends that I thought I could trust. When you get treated like dirt time and time again, you lose your self worth. :cry:
 
Re: Im so depressed :(

hey cool it woman!!! stop mooning around the place- ur only giving negative messages to ur brain hon!!!

but as snakelegs said you need to busy yourself in something interesting that you get satisfaction from...

You're a muslim and so you believe that this life is not eternal but it is a test from Allah and according to how we live here He will reward us (or punish us-God forbid) in the hereafter...

So our ultimate purpous in this life is to seek knowledge on how to live best to Allah's pleasure

He's made it easy for us in that He's sent us messengers to Guide us to His path- the last message is the Quran---and so to get the most out of this life we need to study Allah's message to us in the Quran
 
Re: Im so depressed :(

Tanya Khan said:
Sadly, I don't feel worthy of anything. I've been hurt by so many people in my life, not just this guy, i've been hurt by family and friends that I thought I could trust. When you get treated like dirt time and time again, you lose your self worth. :cry:
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Fair enough, you've had a rough time but does that mean you go on living in self-pity? No one can make you believe you're worth something if you don't believe it yourself. I know you'll prob ignore my advice - I don't mind. But I still have enough compassion in me to offer advice to a fellow human being.

I agree with snakelegs, you should get professional help. It will help you deal with bad experiences and help you think positively. Remember even bad experiences needn't be negative. If you're positive you'll realise that they have taught you something about yourself, others and how to handle things in the future.

I sincerely advise you to get professional help. I am sure it will make a huge difference. I will leave with saying that happiness is not something you should expect to find from others. It is possible to make changes to your life that will make you happy. Remember we're born alone and die alone and in between we alone can make our life what WE want it to be.

I truly wish you happiness. May Allah have mercy on you. Ameen.
 
Re: Im so depressed :(

Muslimah_Sis said:
Fair enough, you've had a rough time but does that mean you go on living in self-pity? No one can make you believe you're worth something if you don't believe it yourself. I know you'll prob ignore my advice - I don't mind. But I still have enough compassion in me to offer advice to a fellow human being.

I agree with snakelegs, you should get professional help. It will help you deal with bad experiences and help you think positively. Remember even bad experiences needn't be negative. If you're positive you'll realise that they have taught you something about yourself, others and how to handle things in the future.

I sincerely advise you to get professional help. I am sure it will make a huge difference. I will leave with saying that happiness is not something you should expect to find from others. It is possible to make changes to your life that will make you happy. Remember we're born alone and die alone and in between we alone can make our life what WE want it to be.

I truly wish you happiness. May Allah have mercy on you. Ameen.
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Thank you for having patience with me sister. I want to get help but I don't know how to go about it. I spoke to my Doctor and he won't refer me to anyone, he just wants me to go on anti-depressants he's useless. If I want therapy then I will have to pay for every session and I can't afford it on my wage as i'm paying too much rent already. Any other suggestions?
 
Re: Im so depressed :(

honey don't bother with anti-depressants- I'm telling you- TURN TO ALLAH

there's a book called 'You Can Be The Happiest Woman In The World' by 'Aa'idh al-Qarni Darussalam publications- it's really good masha Allah please try and get hold of it and read it sweety

and what about that verse in the Quran 'Truly in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find Rest'
 
Re: Im so depressed :(

IceQueen~ said:
honey don't bother with anti-depressants- I'm telling you- TURN TO ALLAH

there's a book called 'You Can Be The Happiest Woman In The World' by 'Aa'idh al-Qarni Darussalam publications- it's really good masha Allah please try and get hold of it and read it sweety

and what about that verse in the Quran 'Truly in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find Rest'
Click to expand...

I do remember Allah (swt) as much as I can. But I think seeking help professionally will also help. Can I speak to an Imam or someone? Do you know how the Imam would help if he did?
 
Re: Im so depressed :(

yes he'd most probably encourage you to become closer to Allah

sis I know it might seem strange to you cos' ur not used to it or you may not see it that way but why don't you try and let go of all around you and turn to the One Who Created you and Who Knows you inside out- more than you know yourself

and Who is just waiting there for you to call on Him

it is not for any reason He says 'those who fear Allah He will grant them a way out from every hardship'

fearing Him means being aware of Him and remembering Him and following his laws...

May Allah Guide you and give you peace and contentment amiin :w:
 

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