Coping with Depression, stress and anger

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Re: unappreciated

anonymous said:
why is it that you do so much for ppl but they just dont appreciate you?
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:sl:
your in my club, sis!
I deal with it, with the help of Allah. alhamdulilah. but the way i think about it, is that maybe people do appreciate you, its just that you don't know it. they may, for example, speak kindly about you behind your back. Allahu alam, you never know.
:w:
 
Re: unappreciated

anonymous said:
why is it that you do so much for ppl but they just dont appreciate you?
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I think its because people are basically selfish. They think only of their own feelings at any given point in time. I know how you feel, I consider myself a fairly generous person both with my time and money, but it is quite rare that you feel that reciprocated. I can only say, that you must be yourself, don't stop being generous just because its not appreciated as you feel it should, if you change and become cynical, then it wont change them- just makes you less how you like people to be.
 
Depressed.

I love my husband. That is the most important thing in my life. He makes me so happy, and I never was given happiness before.

But he also is the source of my unhappiness. I'm not his only wife. he loves us both equal, but I was never raised in this situation, so I have trouble handling it.

his other wife isn't here with us, but they talk everyday. They have 2 kids together. We have none. We both work 13 hours a day in different stores and I never see any of the money becuse he sends all of it to them. He always flirts with other girls and never comes home after work, so I never see him. If I call him, he tells me to stop checking on him so much, but I just miss him.

I do love him, and i know he loves me too, but I cry over this everyday, and i need advice. Please help me.

Salam.
 
Re: Depressed.

Isra said:
I love my husband. That is the most important thing in my life. He makes me so happy, and I never was given happiness before.

But he also is the source of my unhappiness. I'm not his only wife. he loves us both equal, but I was never raised in this situation, so I have trouble handling it.

his other wife isn't here with us, but they talk everyday. They have 2 kids together. We have none. We both work 13 hours a day in different stores and I never see any of the money becuse he sends all of it to them. He always flirts with other girls and never comes home after work, so I never see him. If I call him, he tells me to stop checking on him so much, but I just miss him.

I do love him, and i know he loves me too, but I cry over this everyday, and i need advice. Please help me.

Salam.
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if u've been married so long, and hes always been the same,, i say you ask for divorce
 
Re: Depressed.

Salam Alaikum

Well sis sounds to me like he isnt treating you and the other wife equally.
So before anything else my advise would be to talk to him about it very seriously. Because he is your husband and we here are simply strangers on a forum.

So begin by talking to him and have someone from either your family or his family present who will over see the discussions. The appointment of a wali in matters of reconciliation is VERY important. So select a suitable wali and hold serious talks with your hubby.

If talks fail and he continues with the bad treatment then there are 2 options left for you which are ENTIRELY your own decision:
You can either:
1 - Have sabr and stay with him
2 - With the help of the wali seek divorce

Thats the best advice I can give best to my knowledge.
May Allah swt make you happy and make your problems go away. Ameen
Bro Aku
 
Re: Depressed.

i think the most hurtful thing to you sister is the absence of children which would distract you and give you purpose and happiness, and the fact that she has children makes you even more distraught.
SubhanAllah :) was this not the case with ibraheems wife ? and what happend in that story ?

its ridiculous to jump to divorce but if this continues, life may become suddenly unbearable for you if your pushed to the side all the time like you dont exist.

speak to your husband, if he doesnt know how can he improve the situation?
 
Re: Depressed.

The best thing is to tell him how you feel. Talk to him. tell him about his flirts and how they hurt you.
 
Re: Depressed.

You are a stronger person than I, because I couldn't share anyone in a personal relationship, knowing they where with someone else also.
If you don't mind me asking you
Did you have to give him permission to marry again, or are you the second wife?



All I can say is it you that he lives with..so at least you know that it is you he wishes to be with full time..not with his second wife..
Best of luck, I'm sure God will guide you and bring you peace.
God Bless
 
Re: Depressed.

Nicola said:
You are a stronger person than I, because I couldn't share anyone in a personal relationship, knowing they where with someone else also.
If you don't mind me asking you
Did you have to give him permission to marry again, or are you the second wife?



All I can say is it you that he lives with..so at least you know that it is you he wishes to be with full time..not with his second wife..
Best of luck, I'm sure God will guide you and bring you peace.
God Bless
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? the husband has to ask for the first wife's permission? cool :D .. didn't know that .. where i live, ppl get married to a second wife b4 the first knowing lol, is there any hadith/qoran verse supportin that ? id appreciate it, thanx

ahmad
 
Re: Depressed.

Allahs_slave said:
? the husband has to ask for the first wife's permission? cool :D .. didn't know that .. where i live, ppl get married to a second wife b4 the first knowing lol, is there any hadith/qoran verse supportin that ? id appreciate it, thanx

ahmad
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any particular reason for the sacasim?

I've read it in many posts on this forum from muslims..the husband asks the first wifes permission.

Well I expect it's ok if they don't bother asking...seeing has they can lie to their wives anyhow.
 
Re: Depressed.

Isra said:
I love my husband. That is the most important thing in my life. He makes me so happy, and I never was given happiness before.

But he also is the source of my unhappiness. I'm not his only wife. he loves us both equal, but I was never raised in this situation, so I have trouble handling it.

his other wife isn't here with us, but they talk everyday. They have 2 kids together. We have none. We both work 13 hours a day in different stores and I never see any of the money becuse he sends all of it to them. He always flirts with other girls and never comes home after work, so I never see him. If I call him, he tells me to stop checking on him so much, but I just miss him.

I do love him, and i know he loves me too, but I cry over this everyday, and i need advice. Please help me.

Salam.
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i cudnt live with bein a second wife i feel 4 ya sis
 
Re: Depressed.

Slaam,
I Can Only Say Money Problems,talk To Him Explain.
Not Good Too Hold It All In.
Tell Him How U Feel.
Find A Middle Ground.
What U Both Enjoy Doing Ur Self
 
Re: Depressed.

Another Thing.
Depression Is A Word I Believe Exists In The Mind,u Are Stronger Than That.life Is Hard But U Must Be Stronger.
Believe Me Ive Been There
 
Re: Depressed.

I am the second wife. When we got married 4 months ago, I knew about the wife and kids, but I told him I would try. Yesterday was the breaking point though. I cried all night and we fought, but he held me close until I stoped crying.
I can't seem to stop the tears though, and because I'm so sad, it causes more fights.
 
Re: Depressed.

Nicola said:
any particular reason for the sacasim?

I've read it in many posts on this forum from muslims..the husband asks the first wifes permission.

Well I expect it's ok if they don't bother asking...seeing has they can lie to their wives anyhow.
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i swear i wasn't bein sarcastic :offended:, i really didn't know that!

and for you my sister isra :( , please try to have patience (inna allah ma'a assabereen), you will be in my prayers and dua's i promise...

peace
ahmad
 
Re: Depressed.

salaam

sister u need 2 put ur foot down, a marriage is a 2 way thin, it seems he has control, u need 2 let him decide, if he wants 2 keep u as a wife or talk 2 his old wife, u need 2 let him no ur feelins n put ur foot down,

inshallah Allah (swt) will sort u out, as he put u fru it, he will take u out of it!!

i pray u b happy sister!!! :)
 
Re: Depressed.

Saalam,

I Feel U Need To Have An Eqal Ground?
Talk About His Previou Life.
What He Expects,meet His Prev Children,
Try To Adjust Too Them But Above All Be His Partner, Make Quality Time For Urselves
 
Re: Depressed.

its all about suliman mulla's depression vs contentment video. WALLAHI U WILL FEEL BETTER!! WATCH IT!
 

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