Diary of a muslim mother

[ajr]

I always ask my children did you pray already? *i guess i could call it part of my job- MOTHERHOOD*...Sometimes they would mumble something, sometimes its YESSSSS mommy, sadly sometimes its NOOOO....then the reminding starts 'oh i see, you want to be dragged on your face to jahanam, say hi to shaitaan on your way there or yeah ok don't worry you not alone shaitaan also didnt and the kufaar'..Prophet (sallallahu alaihi wa sallam) said: The difference between us and them (Kuffar/Non-Muslims) is that of salaah so whoever abandons salaah certainly commits kufr.(Tirmidhi, kitab ul Iman, Declared Sahih by Imam Tirmidhi, Imam Nasai and Allama Iraqi, Minhaaj ul Muslimeen pg.80)... *please dont judge my way of reminding them/ or rather my scare tactic*...if i say i want the best for my children, it shouldn't be mere lip service, i should want the best for them and mean it, if i want the best in both worlds i want it for them aswell and the Ummah by enlarge. i always think to myself, well nope, i say it out loud 'who do you prefer punishment from me or Allah?' All im doing is reminding you that your ticket to janah is through salaah, you not making salaah for me, but for yourself. So go, hurry to SUCCESS, its yours for the taking. And the struggle continues....

*Increase your Taqwa, Strenghten your Iman-PRAY SALAAH-Pray on Time*

*Wait for Prayers, but dont let Prayers wait for you*

 

[ajr]

Why am I a mother? Why did Allah choose me as a mother? Often I find myself concocting these different roles…should I be more of a friend, I tried that, it doesn’t work, they tend to take advantage of it and then coupled by that they slowly cross the respect barrier, so I nipped that….i tried the strict parenting, doesn’t work, they end up thinking Islam and being a muslim is a chore… I sat with my head in my hands, making duah…trying to grope at parenting, it seems I was losing the plot
Oneday I just decided after Isha, everyone will sit with me and I will read the Quran and everyone will listen and afterwards we will have a discussion and so from that day, it has become our daily ‘fix’…I think at the beginning they weren’t too happy, it took them away from technology ie phones, tv, radio, comp etc etc…
Kids are the future, if we just teach them the basic, how do they teach their kids. Being a muslim isn’t only knowing your basic, it is knowing for instance what Islam means, what Peace means, why do you fast, no its not because we should know what the poor feel, although it is what my kids felt, because that’s what their peers told them, how are we deceived? Fasting is done because Allah commands us to fast, that’s why we fast.
My kids come home with many stories and each time I tell them don’t fitnah…I don’t want to hear the stories of others and I see the look in their eyes…and then I explain to them that fitnah is a big evil, don’t concern yourself with what others are doing, concern yourself with bettering yourself unless ofcourse someone your know is committing clear kufr then you steer them back, but I don’t want to know what goes on in your friends house and neither should you, it’s a violation of that parents. A home is a place where anyone finds sanctuary, how dare an invasion take place, so I always reprimand my kids and give them a stern warning about speaking out of this household.
My kids learn each day, something different in the ayahs, and im thankful, even if the journey is long, knowledge is encumbent, whether we sit one night just focused on one ayah, Alhamdulillah, they walk away with something….

*Never forget two people in your life*

The person who lost everything just to make you win
YOUR FATHER

The person that was with you in every pain
YOUR MOTHER

 

[ajr]

This time of year when we are asked to attend year end functions, when kids get to go to 'matric dance' or get invited to be someones partner
'Mom, i was asked to attend the matric dance with so and so 'Stop right there, do you love me' *meatloaf song hit me as soon as those words were uttered*
'Love, but you know we dont indulge in those activities' i offer casually... 'yes i know mommy, but all my friends are doing it'
Waaaaaaaaait! *look in mirror* nope not as a sign of vanity lol.... 'what you doing mommy?' ...'blehhh, blehhh, blehhh- oh i was just checking if i belong to the human race, for a moment i was confused *rolling eyes*...ok mommy, i got it....we are not sheep!!!....lol you are funny mommy, i love you xoxo

*you are not a sheep, stop acting like one*

*INDIVIDUALITY-'you laugh at me because im different, i laugh at you because you all the same*

 

[ajr]

Mothers often experience 'difficult' moments in their lives. As women and mostly the primary care-giver of households, we neglect ourselves, lose ourselves...although it is the most rewarding aspect of being adults - motherhood, it also leaves us gasping for air...kids will test our patience in ways we never knew possible...we sacrifice our being for their needs, we often strive to give them more than our mothers gave us ie. our time, youth, energy etc...yes i do mean all those...our time is often spent cleaning up after them, making food, researching homework, driving them around...time-running around, youth-eventually we stop looking in the mirror if our scarf is still in its proper place, energy-by the end of the day we are drained as if we ran 2 marathons.

As my kids got older, especially my girls, i took a ''time-out''...i would escape to my room, like they did and have myself a time-out...''mommy whats for lunch'', no reply...''mommy...mooooommmmmyyy, MOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMEEEEEEEEEEE!!!! and then their heads will bop up, and i would see them through the corner of my eye and ignore...book in hand, i would continue reading... ''mommy didnt you hear me call you, i asked whats for lunch''...oh, im sorry i didnt, guess this book had me spellbound...but you know what you could do, go to the freezer, take out some steak and fry it...''but mommy''...well then have bread....and slowly thats how i got them to make food, yes for the whole family...

Those precious moments i spent on myself did me wonders, i no longer had felt the need to scream at the top of my lungs...

During their early childhood i would often wake up to flour, oil, water, butter on my lounge floor with my kids sat in the middle telling me that they making me breakfast...''the invisible vein in my head throbbing at maximum capacity, ready to pop'' ...operation clean up was often done with silent huffs and puffs...sigh...my only comfort now is waiting for my kids to have their own...and me sitting back with a ''grin'' of satisfaction on my face....who knows, maybe i'll help the grandkids in their ''breakfast feast'' hahahaha...
Alhamdulillah for the gift of parenthood...we are blessed...

 

[ajr]

Having patience isn't easy, its easy on the tongue, but hard to follow through...
I find i go through those episodes often (may Allah forgive me)...for most women juggling a career, family and social life it can be taxing...patience in kids, husband, friends and everyday things...they are too many to mention...but i find my solace in Salaah and Quran...Alhamdulillah
Some of us have different trials, we often want things to be ''fixed'' quick so we go into different states...sad, anxious, depression etc...but as i've learned the HARD way, this is infact the test of the believer, to be patient and put your trust in Allah
Salaah is your time with Allah...you can sit in sujood and pour your heart out, your fears, your needs, your worries and He listens, This world is a distraction and yes we often get caught up in this distraction.
I am an 'impatient' person...i dont like waiting, let me explain...
If i am told time, i like to be there on time or before...If i tell someone be there at... i dont like waiting...If i tell my kids ''take the bin out'' and they don't do it, i do it...so yes i lack that patience because i am caught up in trivial things...how often have we thought, ''does my husband have patience with me, my kids, my friends...Do i tier them out...am i high maintenance''
Instead of seeking aid from others when we are stressed and totally zoned out, put your head on the floor and speak to the Lord of the Worlds, the Creator, the Fashioner...the One who truly listens...Allah loves those who turns to Him...
Ponder on the ayahs you recite everyday of your life...Al-Fatihah...
We are calling on Allah with all His beautiful names, we are testifying that He is the Lord of the worlds, that He is the Master of the day of Judgement, we say You alone do we worship, and You alone we seek aid from...Guide us to the straight path
And still we want ''quick fixes''
We dont need more, we have Allah, so persevere with patience, i know, its hard...trust in Allah...thats your Reward!!!

 

[ajr]

How beautiful the day is...the birds chirp, the crickets chirps their tune, the ants go about their business, the bees are in full swing...how beautiful, everything is in its order.


Today, as with every other day we have much to be grateful for, even death has its rewards, those that die, have exited the fitnah of this world, those that survive have another second, minute, hour, day to make taubah...yes everything is in its order.


We have our family, friends, loved ones, we have our health, some dont, yet we dont count anything as blessings. In sickness, we should find solace that our sins will be expiated, in health we should find solace that we are blessed and should not take anything for granted.


Treasure what you have, never be ungrateful for what you have.
Think of the many displaced families, think of the many orphaned children. Think of your muslim brothers and sisters the world over. No do not do mere lip service. How many has really loved for their brothers and sisters what they love for themselves? If you love jannah, truly love jannah then wouldnt you love that for your brother? your sister? How many of us has uttered only Allah can judge? Yet Allah tells us in the Quran that ...You who believe! be upholders of justice, bearing witness for Allah alone, even against yourselves or your parents and relatives. Whether they are rich or poor, Allah is well able to look after them. Do not follow your own desires and deviate from the truth. If you twist or turn away, Allah is aware of what you do. (Surat an-Nisa’, 135)
Among those We have created there is a community who guide by the Truth and act justly according to it. (Surat al-A‘raf, 181)
… if you do judge, judge between them justly. Allah loves the just. (Surat al-Maida, 42)


So yes, the message is clear...we are suppose to be One Ummah, yet we tend to worry about what will he say if i tell him that what he does is wrong, what will she do, will she stop being my friend, when have you given thort to what will Allah do on the day that has been decreed (Qiyaamah) practice Al Walaa wal Baraa (love what Allah loves, hate what Allah hates and everything else will become easier, stop giving in to the vices of the dunya, it is temporary...


As parents we often tend to think ''When i was young i use to do that, so yes allow my kids to make the same mistakes, they will get there like i did'' Really???!! Shouldnt it make more sense that after you have learnt the truth albeit the hard way, that you should steer your kids in the right direction?


Time offers us nothing, only End! All our journeys will end, whether we worked towards it or whether we live in hope. Nothing lasts forever.
Love for your children what you love for yourself. Love for this Ummah what you love for yourself.


Alhamdulillah!!!..

*None of you truly believes, until he loves for his brother what he loves for himself -Sahih Bukhari, Volume 1, Book 2, Number 15*

 

[noraina]

So sweet, ma'sha'Allah - jazakAllah khayran for the timely reminders,

Mothers are a blessing and a mercy from Allah SWT - superwomen ma'sha'Allah. I think as I am in my late teens I've been appreciating everything she does for us, and I love her all the more - even if I do annoy her sometimes

 

[ajr]

Sometimes we need to let go...


The clutter, the humdrum, sometimes everything becomes too much. We dont know how to handle certain situations, sometimes its just best to let go...
Say Alhamdulillah...let things be...forgive those that harmed you, physically, emotionally and mentally.


Let them pardon and overlook. Would you not love for Allah to forgive you? Allah is Forgiving and Merciful.
Surah An-Nur 24:22
Whoever is patient and forgives, verily, that is among the matters of steadfast determination.
Surah Ash-Shura 42:43
Abdullah ibn Amr (may Allah be pleased with him) reported:
The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, was upon the pulpit and he said:
Be merciful to others and you will receive mercy. Forgive others and Allah will forgive you.
Source: Musnad Ahmad 7001, Grade: Sahih


Often its not easy...we stress about things that have been said, things thort...the process becomes all too much and it consumes us with guilt. Our kids hurl abuse at us, sometimes because they dont get what they want, sometimes because they're frustrated etc...


I have found myself at a crossroad many times...am i not a good muslim? am i not a good parent? do i not fulfill the obligation bestowed on me? am i not raising members of this Ummah?
I was stressed, I am frustrated with me, I am frustrated with my role that I am not fulfilling...is it me?


I have since learned to let go...i can only control what I can...i can only control me...I cant lose me in the process of 'perfection'


If i want jannah, truly want it, then i want that for those around me and extended and so on and so on...


We utter Alhamdulillah, but do we know what we say, we still stress, we still go frantic...letting go and putting your complete Trust in Allah is something more than just doing lip service...its letting go...forgiving people is not as easy as 1,2,3...to be able to say Alhamdulillah and feeling the worries of the world dissipate...it is so uplifting...


We will all stand on the day of Reckoning and no one will be held responsible for anyone else but themselves.
As parents we want the best for our families...our offspring, our progeny...so put your Trust in Allah and make duah...ask Allah to keep your loved ones on Deen and to guide and keep us on the path of those whom He has favoured...


When you are down, and you feel emotionally, physically or mentally drained...turn to Allah, no man can help you, direct your worries, concerns to Allah, Lord of the Alameen...say Astagfirullah x100...revive a sunnah...at the same time the worries of the world will become easier for you, its a sources of rizq, it removes anxiety and best of all duahs are answered through it, removes sadness, it is a constant reminder that Allah is all around us, it opens the door of Allahs Mercy etc


So dear sisters/brothers...let it go...you will feel so much better...Alhamdulillah

*Be happy, do not let the sadness DESTROY you. Say Alhmadulillah on everything that happens to you.*

*Those who happily leave everything in Allah's hand, will eventually see Allahs hand in everything. Because worry ends, where Faith begins*

*Duah is a conversation with Allah...it is the most uplifting, liberating, empowering and transforming conversation a person can ever have*

*May Allah give us all the guidance to understand the status of our mothers and give us the ability to serve them while they are alive...Ameen*