Disciplinary

[Who Am I?]

My parents used to spank me and my sister regularly when we were kids. They never beat us or anything, but when we disobeyed, we were punished for it (as we should have been).

My sister is now married and has a stepson, and you all know how I turned out. ;D

I see these kids of today, and I weep for the future. My generation as parents have become spoiled and lazy and don't want to discipline their children. So now their kids are growing up never having been told "no" and with a sense of entitlement to things they haven't even earned. They think the world owes them something simply because of who they are. They have no sense of discipline or how to follow rules. They just do what they want and don't take responsibility for their actions.

I should point out that I speak of secular Western (American) society. I can't speak for Islamic society because I've never lived in an Islamic country.

 

[Just_A_Girl13]

I have had plenty of my share of hits and smack and all that jazz. I have not been "scared for the rest of my life." In fact my mom is my best friend!

Well, I'm not a parent but my father used to hit me when he got angry and it did not make me want to obey him. If anything, it caused me to not only fear but also dislike him more and more, and I became more rebellious. This is a clear example of how all children are different. Not all children will benefit from hitting. Some children (like myself) are extremely sensitive and hitting them will lead to nothing but heartache on both your parts.

 

[Salahudeen]

AsSaalamu Aalaykum WarahmatAllah wabarakatuh,

I just wanted to know your views on your limits of disciplinary- as a parent. Would you raise your hand at your child if they had done something out of line..? Should children have that 'beating' so they know not to cross the line? Do you think having this sort of discipline helps the child when they become older to be a better person? Please share your thoughts insha-Allah.

Me personally, I would implement somekind of system, like 3 warnings if it persists then make them stand on the naughty step, then if it still persists a slap on the wrist. But I don't think it should ever be a bad beating. I mean I have family members who got beatings from their parents and lets just say we can see the affects 20 years later.

 

[Nσσя'υℓ Jαииαн]

Well, I'm not a parent but my father used to hit me when he got angry and it did not make me want to obey him. If anything, it caused me to not only fear but also dislike him more and more, and I became more rebellious. This is a clear example of how all children are different. Not all children will benefit from hitting. Some children (like myself) are extremely sensitive and hitting them will lead to nothing but heartache on both your parts.

sister.

That's what I mean. Not everyone is the same and as a parent, you should know how you need to deal with your children. Quite frankly, no one should be telling you how to raise your kids. You yourself know them better. And I cant imagine a father hitting his "daughter"...I don't know, I think that should be left to the mother. My father never touched me. He used to yell at me but didnt hit me. My guess is, it's different in the case of a father.

Remember, I'm not saying beat or hit in the face but there must be some form of discipline to keep your kinds in line. Whatever works for their best interest and I'm hoping it's not something insane..!