Disobedience to parents.

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aminah996

aminah996

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I have a sister who is very disobedient to my parents. Everytime I try and warn her that she's committing haram since our parents should be respect. She doesn't realise the extent she can go sometimes and then pushes it too far to a point she notices that there's no going back. I've tried making dua for her. But nothing works. She's always so upset and angry and it's always because she's obsessed with her phone. So when my parents try to take it she gets really aggressive and curses and goes all over the place. Any suggestions on what someone like me should do to encourage her to be calmer and not disrespect both our parents?

Jazakallahu khairan for reading this. May Allah reward you if you respond to this message and provide me feedback InshaAllah.
 
I had the same problem as u, my sister was just like that.. How did she get calmer? Well, first of we began to be much more strict with her (time schedules, punishment etc) but also when she does bad, don't strike her or hit her. Just show u ur disappointment and make it clear. Eventually my sister matured and alhamdulillah she is the sweetest ever now.

Sufyan Abu Jomah
 
try lead by example sister,
keep advising her the best you can, keep making dua and dont give up hope. you never know perhaps your dua will be answered this ramadan allahu alim
 
Aww mashaAllah thanks for the lovely suggestions. Really will try to do so
 
aminah996 said:
Aww mashaAllah thanks for the lovely suggestions. Really will try to do so
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Its not easy changing someone in a short time. It will take a while, meanwhile you continue to advise her.

The company she is in and people she is involved with has a great deal of influence over her.
 
Yes, that's true indeed. Jazakallahu khairan sister [emoji173]️
 
She's a teen she's aged 16 [emoji24] which makes it so common that they don't listen, love to rebel. That sort of nature
 
aminah996 said:
She's a teen she's aged 16 [emoji24] which makes it so common that they don't listen, love to rebel. That sort of nature
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Yes I understand, its very common around that age but like I say, who she mixes with has a bearing on her so maybe you can check that. It is time for your parents to put some form of control and rules down and point out consequences for failing to abide.
 
Umm Abed said:
Yes I understand, its very common around that age but like I say, who she mixes with has a bearing on her so maybe you can check that. It is time for your parents to put some form of control and rules down and point out consequences for failing to abide.
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Yes, that's very true sister. I'll try to do that. As friends and whoever you socialise with can have an effect on your behaviour aswell.
 
aminah996 said:
Yes, that's very true sister. I'll try to do that. As friends and whoever you socialise with can have an effect on your behaviour aswell.
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May Allah swt make it easy for you and the family, sister, I think she will change some time:)
 
Umm Abed said:
May Allah swt make it easy for you and the family, sister, I think she will change some time:)
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Jazakallahu khairan for your kind words & support. I'll follow the advise given InshaAllah and may it bear effective results. Have a blessed day[emoji13]
 
"Whom ever Allah guides no one can miss guide. And whom ever Allah miss guided no one can guide" Sister there is nothing you can do but make dua. Dua is your only weapon at times like these. I have an auntie who's going threw something like this. I tried lecturing her many times. I even had nights where I would cry for her. But I was told there's nothing I could do to change her. If Allah wills he will guide your sister just stay strong, Don't loose Hope and keep her in your Duas. May Allah help you and your family. And may he guide your sister.
 
Sister Hope N Prayers, I believe this is not a lost case and there is still a lot of hope. With duas we can make effort. She's still a teen, need guidance and some rules put in front -- and if she does not abide then she must know there are consequences to follow, so, with continuous talking to at the right time in the right way, there can be improvement insha'allah, and she may outgrow this rebellious stage at some point and realize what she's doing, and as I said, good company is very important.
 
Hopes N Prayers said:
"Whom ever Allah guides no one can miss guide. And whom ever Allah miss guided no one can guide" Sister there is nothing you can do but make dua. Dua is your only weapon at times like these. I have an auntie who's going threw something like this. I tried lecturing her many times. I even had nights where I would cry for her. But I was told there's nothing I could do to change her. If Allah wills he will guide your sister just stay strong, Don't loose Hope and keep her in your Duas. May Allah help you and your family. And may he guide your sister.
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Sister totally agree with you. Dua is the best thing that one can do. As it eases pain as only Allah is the one that can change things when things aren't going right. Allah knows best for all the tests he gives us. But when we correctly go about with the test he loves his servants even more. In this case making dua to him will make us recognise that everything comes from Allah and he is the one who does what he wills.

Umm Abed said:
Sister Hope N Prayers, I believe this is not a lost case and there is still a lot of hope. With duas we can make effort. She's still a teen, need guidance and some rules put in front -- and if she does not abide then she must know there are consequences to follow, so, with continuous talking to at the right time in the right way, there can be improvement insha'allah, and she may outgrow this rebellious stage at some point and realize what she's doing, and as I said, good company is very important.
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Yes, she's right! There's still hope. In teenage years they all have this tendency to be disrespectful and wanting to hurt everything around them. Not realising that they're hurting themselves the most. Always advising her on making sure she prays her salat on time and things like that. Because if you drift from those your heart does become hard which makes you seem arrogant and aggressive in tone. InshaAllah Allah guides her. I'll keep advising her, as its my duty. But Allah is the true guider of them all [emoji173]️
 

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