distressed

[AnonymousPoster]

ive been thinking of posting this for a while.....but i didnt because i just know ur response...be patient.....dnt let it distract u ...be strong....but im going to say it anyway.

im distressed becuase i like someone, i think i love them but that just may be what i think...anyway...i fear Allah....so ...its like this

ive liked him since i was 16 and im going to be 21 this yr.its been a long time,i admire him from afar.thats it.i casually dropped the hint that i liked him, but he has been thourougly cruel about it making a joke of it, and generally shrugging that matter off......

this person, to put it mildly, pretty much lacks in looks etc.....i dunno about the religious side....i think that side is quite strong ....has a beard,practising
.anyway...this person has hurt me by mildly telling me to leave it.....and yet i cant forget this person.....i think its because i was affected so young.....thats y maybe....i dunno.

this may sound ridiculous....but since then i havent looked at anyone int he same way.......many people go around saying im pretty and cannot undertstand why i like someone who is not good looking at all and just shrugs me off.i am constantly praised by males and females alike,which only saddens me further,because he will never care to praise me.

i love my deen.i love Allah, i have remained chaste and pure throughout my life, rejecting anyone who as come my way.ive recently rejected a proposal of marriage....but i realise i must get married one day....but i know i can never love my husband because of this perosn.his face haunts me.soemtimes i can push it away, at weaker times im helpless and close in on myself.

btw, plz dont think there was ever any relationship, like physical....its was just casual talk.thats it.im far too bloody holy to ever do that. anway ive gotten to the extent that i pray to Allah that i may unite wih him in Jannah InshaAllah and that since Allah will make him perfect i will love him completely because he has no flaws that may hurt me.

what hurts further is that i no he never thinks about me....whereas i constantly dream of when Allah will allow him to be with me in Jannah

im so sad rnt i ......i laugh at myself sometimes....i try to forget..lol i think i almost managed it all of last yr....but its happening agen.....i feel ashamed sometimes....i dnt wnt someone to walk all over my feelings like that, and control my mind like that......but i cant help it.....

plz tell me what i shud do.i lost contact yrs ago....and yet its like im still back there stuck in time...i dont notice anyone else.....i just want Allah to reward me with him. ...and if Allah can replace him with soemthing better...well im still waiitng....and waiting...and crumbling away..

 

[IbnAbdulHakim]

wait a second,

explain why you cant marry him again?!

how old is he, is there family probs etc?


have you even tried a proposal wiv him?



Assalamu Alaikum

 

[------]

:salamext:

Sis, the pain that a heartbroken person goes through, only another person that has been heartbroken can understand that. One sided love hurts, because u expect the other person to love you back in return for the love u have given them, or that u have for them.

But one thing is for sure, when ur in that state of 'heartbroken', u honestly don't want to listen to any religious stuff, u just want to die, ur not bothered u just DONT CARE! This is when the Shaytaan takes advantage of u, and makes u listen to sad songs, think about memories 24/7, etc.

The person that is heartbroken, it takes them time to overcome that bond which they may have had with another person. It hurts them, and they need time...this is a different amount of time for all. If u know a person that is heartbroken, the best u can do is be there for them as their friend, guiding them and make sure they don't go on the wrong path. That helps a lot.

Only after u go through the tests, u realise how strong they have made you.

Try and occupy urself with different activities, that will take ur mind and thoughts away from that person.
Try and engage more in the recitation of the Holy Qur'aan, and maybe make it a habit to memorise certain ayahs a day, and their meanings as well. This will keep u distracted and u will get reward!

Maybe my advice wasn't very helpful, but if U need to talk to me, then just drop me a PM Inshaa Allaah, I'll be there for u hun.

Tkcr Inshaa Allaah X

 

[Annie]

Salams
sorry sis but love is a delusion, dont waste your time, get married for the right reasons. Its just shaytan playing with your mind. Get married to someone for their deen.
wasalam

 

[anonymous]

Awwww!!!

Hmmm, please expland on how you know this person, and how long youve known this person and what your relation with this person is ie friend/ goes to uni with you etc!

{EDITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT},

 

[true believer]

Salam
hey sis i feel for u for wat u r goin through.
i understand it is hard to let go sometimes especially wen
u like a person so much. but be strong sis and put ur trust in
Allah. pray, pray and pray, dont give up. turn to Allah.
the best thing u can do is, first break contact with dis boy,
because [u shoudnt be free mixing in da first place] everytime
u speak to him and everytime u see him, ur feelings just grow
more strong and it becomes harder for u to just forget about him.

Time for some brutal truth, Ok sis it seems dis boy doesnt see u in da way u see him and i think he understand wat ur tryin 2 say but he isnt interested and its time u realised dis is da wrong man for u. u deserve someone that feels as much love for u as u feel for them.

focus on things that are more important like ur deen, or ur education. be strong, be da best muslim u can and inshalla wen da time is right, Allah will give u a husbed that will love u as u are, will treat u right and be there for u wen u need them. hope dis helped sis.
Praise be to Allah.

 

[Hamas]

:giggling: sorry i just find it so touching it makes me laugh, they say time is the best healer and it is, but let me tell you what i think you should do at this moment, its been so long you havnt been in contact? just forget him and accept it, you need to accept it or you will not be able to move on thus there will be no easing for your heart. Use your pain to advance yourself, its not weakness, its strength, turn your pain into the source of your power, learn to use it as your greatest strength and you will master and become an ace of things, otherwise you will just go through this pain and simply recover and it would have all been for nothing, nothing at all, just a waste of time.

Sorry i dont know how helpful this is, everyone is different especially a man and women but hey why not give it a try.

Salam :sunny:

 

[------]

:salamext:

Can u explain this?

Use your pain to advance yourself, its not weakness, its strength, turn your pain into the source of your power, learn to use it as your greatest strength and you will master and become an ace of things, otherwise you will just go through this pain and simply recover and it would have all been for nothing, nothing at all, just a waste of time.

 

[anonymous]

er i fink sum of u are confusin d second anonymous poster wit the original poster, dey 2 diff ppl, 2nd ones me kay:

errrrrrrm did i really write dat bout dat guy, hahahaha must have been havin one of those days, he means crap all to me hahahahahha

HEY WERS D ORIGINAL POSTER GONE

 

[Hamas]

:salamext:

Can u explain this?

Assalamu Alaikum,

Its not something to be understood, its something that has to be felt really, i would explain it but whats the point? maybe il explain it another time if i feel like it.

Salam.

 

[Hamas]

er i fink sum of u are confusin d second anonymous poster wit the original poster, dey 2 diff ppl, 2nd ones me kay:

errrrrrrm did i really write dat bout dat guy, hahahaha must have been havin one of those days, he means crap all to me hahahahahha

HEY WERS D ORIGINAL POSTER GONE

Assalamu Alaikum,

Are you talking to me? if you are, id prefer it if you talk to me directly, you might think your being kind by not mentioning any names but your not, your being rude silly

Salam

 

[Hamas]

My first post was intended for the sister who starts her post off with "ive been thinking of posting this for a while" i think her sorrow she mentioned is not as intense as i initially thought, she is no where near it, no where near it at all

Salam

 

[M..x]

Oh Noh ...Salamz Chiq...Ah gosh...Thas long time but me 1a them people that hates ta talk about luv >.<
Truuuus Iv known sum1 thas kinda goin fru it, she so embarresed to say she 'loves' this bwoy cause she knows i'ma jus grill her Lol...Suppose this is your test eh? I fink you bring yaself to tha prospect of getin marrid wit sum1...You say your a bootifal gal mashAllah & if you got tha deen then blud I would even marry you (if a was a guy tho inni ) Just dont let his not-so-atttractive face haunt you...*rolly eyes*
Like yeh I know im not much help buh moving forward is tha only way your gonna get ova dis one..Cant sit there finkn bouh what coulda been...Wish you all tha best..Stay Bless & that, W/Salaamz x

 

[M..x]

Raah this threads bare outdated :-/ Oh ma giddy giddy gaash

 

[Tania]

You can't force anyone to love you. He never thought at your feelings when he turned your love away. In marriage you need someone who is able to protect you, not someone who constantly will hurt you. Words hurt.
If he was so cruel before marriage, think how will be after...mg:hew

 

[dream gurl]

well sis..its very difficult. but are u sure dat he doestn love you? who knws prob deep down he does..and if he doesnt have any deen forget bout him..jus look for sumone dat has deen nd dat u will be hppy..who knws if you marry ur 'lover' at mirrage it wont turn out rite..i knw u are in a state of confusion and stress out..but listen sis..if he hurts you forget bout him..its ntt worth it it would prob be worst in mirrage..o else jus pray god for both of ya..over all, be wid sumone dat u knw would love you bak be wid sumone dat would bring you hppiness..da most romantic is when you love sumone and dat person love you bak dats a love bond der.well gud luck sis..jus think and dont follow shaytan footsteps..nd mak duaa....:thumbs_up