~Zaria~
IB Expert
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Assalamu-alaikum,
Insha Allah, I can provide a personal perspective.
A close friend of mine initiated a similar type of project in our area. May Allah (subhanawataála) reward her good intentions and efforts. Ameen.
As we know, depending on ones location and situation, it can be quite difficult to meet people, in an islamic manner with the intention for marriage.
And this is really the basis for trying to set up such events.
Alhamdulillah, my friend has tried her utmost to ensure that these events are held, maintaining our islamic values to the best of her ability. In fact, this particular project has even gained the approval of our local ulama.
I have been a volunteer at the last event, some months ago. What essentially happens is:
- Men and women write in to admin, describing themselves and what they are seeking from a potential spouse.
- On the day of the event, each persons 'profile' is given a number and posted in the ladies and mens section respectively. In this way, before even meeting, everyone has a chance to read about the other 'participants' and make short notes.
- All sisters are encouraged to bring their wallis to the event - who will be present in the same room.
- The brothers and sisters are divided into 2 groups - e.g. 5 brothers and sisters in each.
- A co-ordinator provides marriage-related questions within the group to try and facilitate discussion - in this way, everyone gets to listen to each others view-points, etc.
- This may last for about ~15 min......and then the groups switch around, and the process is repeated.
- If a brother should be interested in a particular sister/s (and vice versa), he writes down their name......and after the group session, they are given an opportunity to meet and speak together for ~ a further 5 min. Again, the walli is permitted to sit in the same room.
- After the event, the brothers/ sisters can contact admin should they wish to get to know someone further.
- This can be arranged via the girls walli, if they so desire (recommended to all) - and what happens thereafter is left to the participants.
Alhamdulillh, there has been a few marriages that have arisen from these events.
Personally, I feel that if one has the correct intentions and is aware of presence of Allah at all times, he/ she will maintain their conduct in a manner befitting a muslim.
I do have a few reservations with these events though:
1. Even though it is advised for the sisters to bring their wallis, very few if any, do.
2. Although brothers and sisters are advised to observe correct hijab - unfortunately, this is not always the case.
Very often, the sisters are dressed to impress, and observe no form of hijab whatsoever. While it is necessary to see each other, both brothers and sisters forget the importance of lowering their gaze (i.e. not staring at each other).
(The reason why the admin have chosen not to enforce the hijab at their events, is because this would provide an incorrect impression to the brothers. If the sister does not normally wear hijab, then it is only right for the respective brothers to realise this, rather than gain an incorrect assumption on the first meeting)
3. It is important to try to keep the groups as similiar as possible - esp. in terms of age, interests, etc.
What happens very often, is that the brothers often seek out the youngest, most attractive, often hijab-less sisters (no surprises there
). In this regard, the scenario is not very natural (as under 'normal' circumstances, people are introduced to each other individually).
This is just an individual perspective.
It is everyones duty to seek advice from reliable sources with regards to similiar events that may be held in their area, as each will be held in differently and may not make the effort to provide an islamic enviroment (to the best of their abilities.)
:wa:
Insha Allah, I can provide a personal perspective.
A close friend of mine initiated a similar type of project in our area. May Allah (subhanawataála) reward her good intentions and efforts. Ameen.
As we know, depending on ones location and situation, it can be quite difficult to meet people, in an islamic manner with the intention for marriage.
And this is really the basis for trying to set up such events.
Alhamdulillah, my friend has tried her utmost to ensure that these events are held, maintaining our islamic values to the best of her ability. In fact, this particular project has even gained the approval of our local ulama.
I have been a volunteer at the last event, some months ago. What essentially happens is:
- Men and women write in to admin, describing themselves and what they are seeking from a potential spouse.
- On the day of the event, each persons 'profile' is given a number and posted in the ladies and mens section respectively. In this way, before even meeting, everyone has a chance to read about the other 'participants' and make short notes.
- All sisters are encouraged to bring their wallis to the event - who will be present in the same room.
- The brothers and sisters are divided into 2 groups - e.g. 5 brothers and sisters in each.
- A co-ordinator provides marriage-related questions within the group to try and facilitate discussion - in this way, everyone gets to listen to each others view-points, etc.
- This may last for about ~15 min......and then the groups switch around, and the process is repeated.
- If a brother should be interested in a particular sister/s (and vice versa), he writes down their name......and after the group session, they are given an opportunity to meet and speak together for ~ a further 5 min. Again, the walli is permitted to sit in the same room.
- After the event, the brothers/ sisters can contact admin should they wish to get to know someone further.
- This can be arranged via the girls walli, if they so desire (recommended to all) - and what happens thereafter is left to the participants.
Alhamdulillh, there has been a few marriages that have arisen from these events.
Personally, I feel that if one has the correct intentions and is aware of presence of Allah at all times, he/ she will maintain their conduct in a manner befitting a muslim.
I do have a few reservations with these events though:
1. Even though it is advised for the sisters to bring their wallis, very few if any, do.
2. Although brothers and sisters are advised to observe correct hijab - unfortunately, this is not always the case.
Very often, the sisters are dressed to impress, and observe no form of hijab whatsoever. While it is necessary to see each other, both brothers and sisters forget the importance of lowering their gaze (i.e. not staring at each other).
(The reason why the admin have chosen not to enforce the hijab at their events, is because this would provide an incorrect impression to the brothers. If the sister does not normally wear hijab, then it is only right for the respective brothers to realise this, rather than gain an incorrect assumption on the first meeting)
3. It is important to try to keep the groups as similiar as possible - esp. in terms of age, interests, etc.
What happens very often, is that the brothers often seek out the youngest, most attractive, often hijab-less sisters (no surprises there
). In this regard, the scenario is not very natural (as under 'normal' circumstances, people are introduced to each other individually).This is just an individual perspective.
It is everyones duty to seek advice from reliable sources with regards to similiar events that may be held in their area, as each will be held in differently and may not make the effort to provide an islamic enviroment (to the best of their abilities.)
:wa:
