Do your parents HAVE to give consent?

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EgyptPrincess

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As-salaam alaikum,

If someone is a revert to Islam and approaches you for marriage. Do the parents HAVE to consent to it before you can marry them?

Where is the line drawn for pleasing parents?

"Thy Lord hath decreed that ye worship none but Him, and that ye be kind to parents. Whether one or both of them attain old age in thy life, say not to them a word of contempt, nor repel them, but address them in terms of honour." - (17:23)

So if I want to marry a revert who is kind, loving, caring, intelligent, well mannered and overall just a very nice person, but my parents disagree, is it still my right to marry him?
 
Wa alaykum assalam,

The majority of scholars say the marriage is invalid if the girl does not have the permission of her wali (usually your father). Within the hanafi madhab there is more flexibility but even then it is not recommended.

Of course, if the brother in question can provide for his wife and his sound in deen and character, and still the parents refuse for reasons which have no place in Islam, this wouldn't be right on their part, but this of course depends on circumstance and they may genuinely be concerned.

It would be good to try your level best to convince them, though either an Imam or someone they respect highly. The only alternative would be basically 'running away', and a marriage in which there is no family support nor blessings will be a little unsteady on its foundations.

This what I've read anyway, inshaAllah someone with more knowledge can give a better explanation. :) x
 
I dont know what the scholars say but I think you can marry whomsoever you want as long as he is a muslim. You dont need permission.
 
anatolian said:
I dont know what the scholars say but I think you can marry whomsoever you want as long as he is a muslim. You dont need permission.
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Thank you. So even if the marriage upsets the parents, I am still allowed to do it? Of course consent from the parents is preferred but it's not mandatory?
 
anatolian said:
This is very common in the rural areas of Turkey...
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This can be quite common where parents are over-bearing and too strict. I've heard of around two cases of girls running away with a guy, this was with non-Muslims though...

I would suggest every other possible avenue is explored before getting married without your wali's permission - which would be the last of the last of the last resorts, lol.
 
As I know, parents should always give their blessing for the marriage. But I am unsure what to do then if parents make restrictions like if they don´t accept spouse from the other race, ethnic group, reverts etc. As racism (and this can be called as racism) is against the Islam, so is refusal of their blessing against the values of Islam in some cases?

Actually, this blessing thing is quite confusing as both man and woman shouldn´t become forced to marry someone he/she dislikes to marry as well. What if he/she refuses every of possible spouses his/hers parents offer and feels they are unsuitable to him/her?
 
Serinity said:
Read: https://islamqa.info/en/7193
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"The wali does not have the right to prevent a woman from marrying on the basis of his own whims and with no shar’i reason."

The other thing, what I have though sometimes is how much we should read and trust the words and fatwas we find from the internet. If possible, maybe better to ask from scholar/imam (in the real life).
 
your parents can not force you to marry anyone, afaik. So don't feel that you have to marry someone you don't like.

And Allah SWT knows best.
 
Serinity said:
your parents can not force you to marry anyone, afaik. So don't feel that you have to marry someone you don't like.

And Allah SWT knows best.
Click to expand...

but I can't marry the person I like either. Forever single and forever miserable :hmm:
 
EgyptPrincess said:
but I can't marry the person I like either. Forever single and forever miserable :hmm:
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Sister, the person whom you want to marry, did he accept Islam?

You should try to get someone like an elder, family member or Imam to speak to your parents on your behalf.
 
Assalamualykum.

Respected Sister

In principle it is permissible to marry a revert.

Your parents happiness is of paramount importance in order to have blessings and barakah in your marriage.

A teacher and parent only wishes good for their students and children although at times we may not see the good in it.

I strongly suggest that you consult with them and consider their suggestions and marry a person of your and their choice, insha Allah the fruits of working with your parents will be seen.

Jazakallah khair

Request duaas
 
No it is not allowed.

But if they are being unreasonable and the intended spouse is a practicing Muslim,
there are many avenues to convince them including involving other family members and scholars to speak with them.
In extreme cases about changing walis, the rules for that vary amongst the Fiqh of the 4 schools of thought.
If you seriously want something the best thing to do is pray tahajjud and ask Allah for it,
duaas in Tahajjud are accepted (unless they are for things detrimental to us in which case Allah protects us and replaces it with that which is even better)
if we're not praying tahajjud for it, then we don't really want it that bad.

(I don't remember the full contents of this video exactly but from what I do recall it was beneficial and helpful on this topic. Hope it helps sis)

youtube.com/watch?v=kKCWSxON6Fc
 

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