Does God exist?
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anonymous
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The title of my thread does give the impression that I dont believe a God exists. I do believe that Allah exists. My concern is that I have lost all reasons to believe that I need to worship Allah. Allah does not need my worship anyways, nor has my worship so far benefited me in one of most important parts of one's life: marriage and having kids. I am not "dying" to get married. However, I am sick and tired of having to deal with restrictions of not committing zina and seeking halal things when seeking halaal things has only brought me misery and feelings of dejection over the last 3 years. I never said I am THE only one who is ugly. I speak for all those who are perceived as ugly, at least in respect to their basic right to ask Allah that why did He create them in a way that "good looking" humans find reprehensible and feel entitled to their own "beauty." I speak for all those who were born with crooked noses and fuzzy eye brows and irregular unbalanced facial features. I speak for all those rejected for these reasons. These ppl might not agree with me regarding my anger at Allah but i am dead sure these people are hurt deep inside from the injustice committed on them by nature, evolution, or whatever it is. So yea, I dont deny God exists. I just question if I really need to worship Him and that if He really cares about me.
anonymous
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fS123: its a valid question regarding Prophet. We are told in Islam to mimic Prophet. Pray tell me how can I mimic a "shining moon"???? Tell me how can I relate to Prophet's sunnah when he has gotten compliments for being handsome, beautiful, and I am anti-thesis of all that.
CosmicPathos
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Original Poster: I was waiting for others to give you advice but it seems you have not found your answer so far.
First of all, can you tell me, if you dont mind, if you have any connective tissue disorders? Or any congenital dysmorphia? Has any doctor diagnosed/treated you for that in the past? If not then maybe you are considering yourself ugly because you might have some facial features that are usually not pleasing to the masses' eye. I have not seen you so I cannot say how much of those "abnormal" features you have. So that you know, crooked nose might be "deviation" from the norm, but you can get it surgically treated. Moreover, there are many people in this world who have huge French noses or hooked noses. I am sure you agree that they have every right to feel as bad as you do?
Why do not you look at it this way, the women who rejected you, maybe they are the ones whose souls are dirty even though they are beautiful on the outside. Do you agree that these women will become old for sure and their skin which they are so proud of will wrinkle for sure and they probably will get fat too? So you should be rather laughing at these women that how shallow and narrow minded their thinking is when the same "ugly" fate awaits them. Why do not you think that you should be happy that Allah kept you away from these women by revealing their true nature to you before marriage?
Its all depends on your perspective. If you keep a positive perspective, all of this will make sense and you'd feel obliged to thank Allah for how he saved you from marrying women who rejected you merely for your looks. They did not look at your character, your closeness to Allah, your deen, your manners etc but rather your looks over which you had no control. I'd say feel happy!
First of all, can you tell me, if you dont mind, if you have any connective tissue disorders? Or any congenital dysmorphia? Has any doctor diagnosed/treated you for that in the past? If not then maybe you are considering yourself ugly because you might have some facial features that are usually not pleasing to the masses' eye. I have not seen you so I cannot say how much of those "abnormal" features you have. So that you know, crooked nose might be "deviation" from the norm, but you can get it surgically treated. Moreover, there are many people in this world who have huge French noses or hooked noses. I am sure you agree that they have every right to feel as bad as you do?
Why do not you look at it this way, the women who rejected you, maybe they are the ones whose souls are dirty even though they are beautiful on the outside. Do you agree that these women will become old for sure and their skin which they are so proud of will wrinkle for sure and they probably will get fat too? So you should be rather laughing at these women that how shallow and narrow minded their thinking is when the same "ugly" fate awaits them. Why do not you think that you should be happy that Allah kept you away from these women by revealing their true nature to you before marriage?
Its all depends on your perspective. If you keep a positive perspective, all of this will make sense and you'd feel obliged to thank Allah for how he saved you from marrying women who rejected you merely for your looks. They did not look at your character, your closeness to Allah, your deen, your manners etc but rather your looks over which you had no control. I'd say feel happy!
CosmicPathos
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While I do disagree with his comments about God and his conclusion that God doesnt exist, I do not think hes being childish. He has real concerns, no matter how trivial they seem to us, that need to be addressed in the context of his issues. By calling other people's concerns childish, you do them no favor.
Tyrion
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I think sis Bluebell has the right idea this time... Sometimes you have to be blunt and point out someone's foolishness, especially when they go this far. Besides, he says he's in his late 20's, so I think he can take it.
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CosmicPathos
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It depends. Many people who were indeed bullied in childhood and grow up with inferiority complex, being blunt with them might do more harm than good. For all we know, he might have body dysmorphic disorder (BDD). So I dont think we should be haughty and nasty. It all depends on his circumstances, how he take challenges etc. On a forum like this, all we can do is tell him what are the flaws with his line of thinking in a kind way and make him not feel like a child.
More on BDD: http://emedicine.medscape.com/article/291182-overview
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ardianto
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@anonymous brother
If you can visit my home I will introduce you to my friend. He's not ugly, and I never call him ugly, but I call him as "very far from handsome".
No, no, I call him like that not to insult him but to express my admiration. He's absolutely not handsome, but he has good confidence, and everyone like him, because he always respect to everyone.
He knew, he could not attract women with handsomeness. But he knew, women not always attracted to handsomeness. That's why he developed his personality.
Now he lives in happily with his wife and his kids.
So, brother, let those women reject you just because you are not handsome. Let people call you ugly, but do not regard yourself as ugly, because you are just "not a handsome guy", same like majority of men in the world. And try to develop your personality.
Remember what I have said, People like or dislike us from our behavior and from how we treat other people. Always respect to everyone, and everyone will always respect to you too,
InshaAllah, you will meet a woman who love your personality, and accept you as her husband.
If you can visit my home I will introduce you to my friend. He's not ugly, and I never call him ugly, but I call him as "very far from handsome".
No, no, I call him like that not to insult him but to express my admiration. He's absolutely not handsome, but he has good confidence, and everyone like him, because he always respect to everyone.
He knew, he could not attract women with handsomeness. But he knew, women not always attracted to handsomeness. That's why he developed his personality.
Now he lives in happily with his wife and his kids.
So, brother, let those women reject you just because you are not handsome. Let people call you ugly, but do not regard yourself as ugly, because you are just "not a handsome guy", same like majority of men in the world. And try to develop your personality.
Remember what I have said, People like or dislike us from our behavior and from how we treat other people. Always respect to everyone, and everyone will always respect to you too,
InshaAllah, you will meet a woman who love your personality, and accept you as her husband.
جوري
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I'd like the list of people on this forum or in general who WEREN'T bullied as children or called something derogatory at some point in their life and then we can have this conversation again. The majority of humanity face such things.. Not everything is a psychiatric case.. and even the things you read about in your course we all suffer a certain percentage of.. It shouldn't and it doesn't mean that we've to accuse people of things that aren't true, lose our faith and throw a tantrum or become down right sacrilegious.. In fact I have already stated that which is akin to br. Ardianto's advise ..looks will get you so far, it is character and personality that sustain you..
CosmicPathos
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I'd like the list of people on this forum or in general who WEREN'T bullied as children or called something derogatory at some point in their life and then we can have this conversation again. The majority of humanity face such things.. Not everything is a psychiatric case.. and even the things you read about in your course we all suffer a certain percentage of.. It shouldn't and it doesn't mean that we've to accuse people of things that aren't true, lose our faith and throw a tantrum or become down right sacrilegious.. In fact I have already stated that which is akin to br. Ardianto's advise ..looks will get you so far, it is character and personality that sustain you..
You are right. We all face it but some people due whatever reasons (genetic, soul, rooh, environmental etc) are weak or are not built like a rock to tolerate all that we face. But dont you think we can address him with the goal in our mind to bring our Muslim brother back to Islam? Yes, his comments bordered shirk and kufr but why not try to bring him back to Islam rather than closing all doors for him by saying "thats it, you are a kaafir, good riddance."
Ive read his most recent post, he says that he doesnt deny existence of Allah. He just felt that he didnt need to worship Him. So we can always approach him keeping that in mind. And ive told him that maybe he should be thankful to Allah for saving him from marrying women who were superficial and rejected him because of the way his face/body looked.
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I've crooked nose and unbalanced features, and you are not speaking for me. I don't really care much about these superficial things. I don't care if people think I'm ugly. In the end, I've I'll die and I'll be accountable for my deeds, not these things. If live is difficult, more good for afterlife. No pain, no gain. But I'm not asking for pain, just if it comes my way, which it does, it has its benefits. Its how I handle it makes me a better. I see model type guys they seem to get everything the girls and job, all they have to do is flash their smile. But it won't last long, it doesn't make them a better person. How we handle trials and difficulties makes us a better person. So you are just focusing on shining face, but ignoring more important thing, the character of the Prophet(pbuh) and his determination, and faith in Allah. Abu Lahab, maybe more beautiful, his name comes from his health, but what good it did for him? Nothing.
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ardianto
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A common mistake that done by man who "not handsome" is use wealth to attract a woman. He show off everything he has to this woman, and -this is fatal mistake- tell this woman, he will buy this woman anything if this woman marry him.
There are two bad qonsequence if we use wealth to attract women.
First, we will get materialistic woman who only love our money but will leave us when we lose our wealth.
Second, if this woman is a good woman, she will regard us as arrogant man who think can buy women with money. It will make this woman lose her sympathy to us.
So, let the woman you intend to marry know that you are rich and have good income, because financial safety is important consideration for woman to consider will marry or not marry us. But try not show off. It will makes this woman regard you as humble person, and it will make her has sympathy to you.
Asalam, thanks and I am describing to him what kind of look I have and it doesnt mean I am sad when no one looks back
Alhamdollellah I am healthy, I have good job and in top of all ALLAH guide me to this beautiful way of LIFE (ISLAM), I mean what more can I ask for?
there are soo much good looking people who are sick, or not sick but crazy to change something in their body. For example, now there 300,000 women who needs to see their surgeon and remove the defected breast implant as people starts to get cancer... or the baby who was born earlier with one body & two heads .
To our Brother Anonymous, LOOK IS NOT AN ISSUE, if you cannot accept this it means you are questioning God's creation, I was there (I wasnt Muslim yet), your Imaan is low, we all know you cant change the way you look but you can change your outlook by being positive.
Dont focus on negative issues, there are so much things to look on, your good health, food that we eat daily, time we have, job... countless
There are many ways not to be depressed and feel good, go to Islamic organization and join the activities, or help a man cross the road. Watch an inspiring movie like Amelie
If you continue to focus on your look, believe me, not only you are convinced you are ugly but people starts to believe you are indeed UGLY
Its about mannerism, your character, the way you talk and behave, as long as you are clean, taking a bath daily, changing clothes daily, put a bit of perfume, cut your hair, wear clean clothes, and most importantly delete the idea that you look ugly.
We understand you are very depress but I hope you wont question God's existence anymore coz it means permanent death to doubt God's existence
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ardianto
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There is difference between physical beauty and good appearance. Physical beauty is something that we have since we were born, and not every person get it. But good appearance is something that can be created by anyone.
We don't need to be beautiful to have good appearance. If we always maintain ourselves like always keep our body clean, wear good and suitable clothes (cheap clothes is okay), always in good manner when we are interaction with other people, we will look good.
But if we are beautiful but we never maintain ourselves and we are always in bad manner, we will look bad in the people's eyes.
There are many men and women who are not physically beautiful, but they have good appearance that makes them look good. I suggest the anonymous brother choose a woman like this.
I know, many young brothers who haven't married want to have beautiful wife. It's normal. But ....
My wife now has been 43, but people always say, she's still beautiful. Yes, my wife is beautiful woman. And she was a favorite woman which many men tried to get her. But. it's make me proud?
No! I never proud because I have beautiful wife, but I am always happy because I have a good wife who always love me and treat me well. I love her not because her beauty. That's why she married me, because I was different than other men who attracted to her beauty. I was her close friend who always treated her as a human, not as a beautiful doll.
Okay, I understand if young brothers want to have beautiful wives. But let me to remind, there is a hard competition to get a woman like this. There are many men who want to get her, and it's makes her becomes very selective to select a man as her partner. She can select a man based on various factors like handsomeness, or wealth, or popularity of that man.
I have read the anonymous brother first post which he wrote the answer from women who reject him. I make a conclusion, they are women who received many marriage proposals, and it makes them very selective. I guess, they are beautiful.
So, I suggest the anonymous brother and other brother who have same problem to 'switch the target' to women who are not physically beautiful but have good character, good personality, and know how to maintain themselves to makes them look good although not physically beautiful.
Women like this usually are not too selective. They do not expect Mister Perfect, but they expect a man who can treat them well as a woman, and as a wife. No matter if this man is handsome or not.
Purpose of marriage is not to gain a proudness as the winner who won the competition to get a beautiful woman, but to build a happiness in our life. Trust me, not outer beauty that will make us love our wives, but their inner beauty that make us feel happy with them. And only women who have good personality and good manner who have inner beauty.
We don't need to be beautiful to have good appearance. If we always maintain ourselves like always keep our body clean, wear good and suitable clothes (cheap clothes is okay), always in good manner when we are interaction with other people, we will look good.
But if we are beautiful but we never maintain ourselves and we are always in bad manner, we will look bad in the people's eyes.
There are many men and women who are not physically beautiful, but they have good appearance that makes them look good. I suggest the anonymous brother choose a woman like this.
I know, many young brothers who haven't married want to have beautiful wife. It's normal. But ....
My wife now has been 43, but people always say, she's still beautiful. Yes, my wife is beautiful woman. And she was a favorite woman which many men tried to get her. But. it's make me proud?
No! I never proud because I have beautiful wife, but I am always happy because I have a good wife who always love me and treat me well. I love her not because her beauty. That's why she married me, because I was different than other men who attracted to her beauty. I was her close friend who always treated her as a human, not as a beautiful doll.
Okay, I understand if young brothers want to have beautiful wives. But let me to remind, there is a hard competition to get a woman like this. There are many men who want to get her, and it's makes her becomes very selective to select a man as her partner. She can select a man based on various factors like handsomeness, or wealth, or popularity of that man.
I have read the anonymous brother first post which he wrote the answer from women who reject him. I make a conclusion, they are women who received many marriage proposals, and it makes them very selective. I guess, they are beautiful.
So, I suggest the anonymous brother and other brother who have same problem to 'switch the target' to women who are not physically beautiful but have good character, good personality, and know how to maintain themselves to makes them look good although not physically beautiful.
Women like this usually are not too selective. They do not expect Mister Perfect, but they expect a man who can treat them well as a woman, and as a wife. No matter if this man is handsome or not.
Purpose of marriage is not to gain a proudness as the winner who won the competition to get a beautiful woman, but to build a happiness in our life. Trust me, not outer beauty that will make us love our wives, but their inner beauty that make us feel happy with them. And only women who have good personality and good manner who have inner beauty.
BeTheChange
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[FONT=wf_segoe-ui_light]I know this is a very long read but please, have a read for your sake in sha Allah. Look at how the elderly dependent man illustrated patience through the trial of his son. Please make time to read this and live your life by this example in sha Allah.
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178673: She is complaining about being "ugly".
Allah is beautiful and loves beauty. With a dark complexion, acne prone skin, misaligned teeth, and average height, I consider myself ugly. So does that mean Allah hates me? I have heard taunts about my looks for a long time. I have been through a lot of social pressure because of how I look and remain depressed most of the time. Some have even blatantly expressed their concern over my marriage. Where is my position in Islam regarding all this, since Islam encourages men to marry beautiful women? I cannot thoroughly blame others for their concern, because they are in a way quoting the Quran. But then again where is my fault? I didn’t choose to be ugly. And how does one justify the fact one is rejected socially, rejected for jobs, rejected for marriage proposals, all because one is not good looking enough? Where is Allah’s justice in this when He has created us all equally?.
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[/FONT][FONT=wf_segoe-ui_light]Praise be to Allaah.
Know dear questioner, that all of Allah’s creation is good, but Allah may test a slave with sickness or a defect or ugliness and the like due to a wisdom He is aware of, and a benefit He wished for you to attain.
Beauty and ugliness are like sickness and health, wealth and poverty, and success and failure; Allah has distributed all provisions between His slaves through His vast wisdom, perfect mercy and abundant favour upon His slaves. Granting of any of those things or others is not an indication of Allah’s love for the one to whom He granted or provided those things. Nor is withholding any of them a sign of His displeasure towards the one being deprived. Allah says (what means):
“15. And as for man, when his Lord tries him and [thus] is generous to him and favors him, he says, "My Lord has honored me."
16. But when He tries him and restricts his provision, he says, "My Lord has humiliated me."
17. No! But you do not honor the orphan
18. And you do not encourage one another to feed the poor.
19. And you consume inheritance, devouring [it] altogether,
20. And you love wealth with immense love.” (al-Fajr 15-20)
Sh. As-S’adi (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
“Allah the Exalted informs of the nature of man as he is, that he is ignorant and unjust, and does not know the outcomes of things. He thinks that whatever condition he is in will continue and never cease and he thinks that Allah’s honouring him and favouring him in this world is an indication of his honour and and closeness to Him. And when “He tries him and restricts his provision” such that he has only his needs with nothing extra, then this is an insult from Allah. So Allah responds to him his estimation by saying (what means) “No!” i.e. Not everyone I have bestowed favours upon in the world is honoured by Me, and not everyone whom I have restricted provisions for is lowly before Me. Rather, wealth and poverty and abundance and restrictedness are tests from Allah and trials which He puts His slaves through, to see who is grateful to him and who is patient so that He may reward them a great reward for it as compared to those who do not, so they are given a painful punishment. As well: A slaves aspirations may not go beyond himself, due to weakness in zeal, so Allah rebukes them for not being concerned about the affairs of the needy creation…” End quote from Tafsir as-S’adi (924)
If people were to follow your example in your speech, thought and displeasure over the will of your Lord and His destiny for you –may Allah forgive you- there would only be complainers and disgruntled people on earth.
The ill would say: why have You made me ill and saved the people? The poor would say: Why have you made me poor and made others wealthy? Those being tried would say: Why are you trying me and left others in a good state?
The believer is to be pleased, observe patience and anticipate reward while others become annoyed with and complain about their Lord.
Do you not realize that you have two eyes with which you can see while millions cannot even see?!
Do you not see that you are able to walk on your own two feet, you go and come wherever you wish while an infinite number of people are paralyzed and disabled?!
Let’s say you lost all that; do you not realize Allah’s favour of Islam upon you, and that He chose you for this great favour (which all the pleasures of the earth cannot equal) over most of the creation who do not believe in Allah. On the Day of Resurrection, Allah the Exalted will say (what means): “Oh Adam! And he will respond, Here I am and blessed by You, and all good is in Your hands. Then He will say: Remove the delegation of the fire! He will say: And what is the delegation of the fire? He will say: From every thousand, nine hundred and ninety nine. Al-Bujari (3099) and Muslim (327)
Ponder over this story, O maidservant of Allah:
Al-Awza’i narrates from ‘Abdullah ibn Muhammad that he said:
I went out to the shore as a patrolman and our patrol at the time was in ‘Areesh Misr. When I arrived at the shore, I came upon an open area and there was tent on it. In the tent was a man who had no hands and legs and he was hard of hearing and sight. None of his limbs were of benefit to him but his tongue, and was saying: O Allah, grant me (the ability) to praise you a praise through which I can sufficiently thank You for the favours You have bestowed upon me and by which You have preferred me over many whom You have created a great preference.
Al-Awza’I said: ‘Abdulla said: By Allah, I will certainly go to this man and I shall certainly ask him about this speech. An understanding, or knowledge or inspiration which was inspired to him?
So I approached the man and greeted him and said to him: I heard you and you were saying: O Allah, grant me (the ability) to praise you a praise through which I can sufficiently thank You for the favours You have bestowed upon me and by which You have preferred me over many whom You have created a great preference.; so what favour from the favours of Allah upon you are you praising Him for? And in what way did He prefer you over others a great preference that you need to thank Him for it? He said: Don’t you see what my Lord has done? By Allah, if He sent the sky to me as a fire which burned me, or ordered the mountains to crush me, or the oceans to drown me, or the earth to swallow me up; it would only cause me to be more grateful to my Lord for the favour of this tongue He bestowed upon me.
However, O slave of Allah: As long as you have come to me, I have a need of you! Perhaps you see me and the state I am in, I cannot harm nor benefit myself. I had a young son who used to come to me at the time of prayer and help me do my ablution, and when I became hungry he’d feed me, and I became thirsty he’d provide me with a drink but I have missed him for the last three days, so please look for him on my behalf may Allah have mercy on you.
I said: By Allah, no creature could fulfill the need of another which is greater in reward with Allah than a need similar to yours. So I set out looking for the young boy, and I hadn’t gone far before I came by a sand hill, and behold I found the boy who had been preyed upon by a beast which ate his flesh! I did istirjaa’ (saying Indeed we belong to Allah and to Him is our return) and said: How am I going to be able to face this man with a gentle face?!
As I was heading towards him, the thikr (words of remembrance) of Ayyub the Prophet (may Allah’s peace and blessings be upon him) came to my heart. So when I reached him I greeted him and he responded and said: Are you not my companion? I said yes! He said: What did you do about my need? I said: Are you more honourable in the site of Allah or was Ayyub the Prophet? He said, of course Ayyub the Prophet. I said: Do you know what His Lord did with him? Did He not test him in his wealth, family and children? He said, yes. I said: How did He find him? He said: He found him patient, grateful and praising. I said: He was not pleased with that for him until his relatives and loved ones deserted him? He said, yes. I said: How did His Lord find him? He said: He found him patient, grateful and praising; make it short may Allah have mercy on you. I said to him: The young boy you sent me in search of, I found him in a sand hill having been preyed upon by a beast which had eaten his flesh. May Allah increase for you tour reward and may He inspire you with patience.
The tested man said: Praise be to Allah Who did not create from my progeny creations who would disobey Him and He would then punish them by the fire. He then did istirjaa’ and breathed a sigh and died.
I said: Indeed to Allah we belong and to Him is our return. What a huge calamity before me; a man like this, if I were to leave him the beasts would eat him, and if I stay I won’t be able to harm nor benefit. So I covered him in a cloak which was over him and sat at his head crying.
As I was sitting, four men came upon me and said: O slave of Allah, what is your situation and what is your story. So I told them my story and his. They said to me: uncover his face for us, perhaps we know him. I uncovered his face and the men fell upon him kissing his eyes and his hands alternately and saying: May our father be sacrificed; for how long these eyes were lowered from the prohibitions of Allah. May our father be sacrificed; for how long this body prostrated before Allah while the people were sleeping.
I said: Who is this, may Allah have mercy on you? They said, this is Abu Qilabah al-Jurmi, the companion of ibn ‘Abbas. He had tremendous love for Allah and the Prophet of Allah (may Allah’s peace and blessings be upon him)!!
So we washed him and shrouded him with clothing we had with us and prayed over him and buried him. The men left and I went back to my station. When night fell, I put my head down and saw him in a dream, in a garden from the gardens of Paradise wearing two garments from the garments of Paradise while reciting the revelation (which means): “Peace be upon you for what you patiently endured. And excellent is the final home.” (13:24).
I said: Aren’t you my companion? He said, yes. I said: How did you receive this?! He said: Verily, with Allah are levels that cannot be attained except with patience at times of trial and gratitude at times of prosperity along with fear of Allah, the Mighty and Majestic, in private and in public. End quote from “ath-Thiqaat” by ibn Hibban (5:3-5)
Have you seen the state of this slave O maidservant of Allah? Did you see his praise of and pleasure with his Lord? Did you see how the blessing of faith from Allah was greater to him than all he lost? Do you see that there are many things for which you and others can still praise and thank Allah for. They are innumerable, leave alone being able to properly thank Allah for them. So, O maidservant of Allah, don’t deprive yourself of those lofty positions by being upset with the will of Allah or by thinking evil of Him or allowing your tongue to tire of remembering Allah and praising Him and thanking Him and turning to blaming Him and having a bad opinion of Him.
If you don’t have a share of beauty, then what did the non Muslim woman who was deprived of Islam do with her beauty while your Lord granted it (Islam) to you? Where is she now if she has passed on? And where will she be tomorrow if she died upon disbelief? Will her beauty be of benefit to her on the Day when neither wealth nor children will be of benefit, except those who come to Allah with pure hearts?
Would you really be pleased with the alternative? That you be beautiful but non Muslim and that she be ugly but Muslim?
There are many such questions you need to ask yourself and answer in light of this reality in which you are displeased with your Lord.
Allah, the Mighty and Majestic, says (what means): “And do not extend your eyes toward that by which We have given enjoyment to [some] categories of them, [its being but] the splendor of worldly life by which We test them. And the provision of your Lord is better and more enduring.” (20:131)
Sh. As-S’adi (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
“i.e. Don’t extend your eyes out of amazement and don’t keep looking out of approval at what people are enjoying of worldly gains such as tasty food and drink and fancy clothing and adorned homes and beautified women, for all that is from the splendor of worldly life which the souls of deceived ones rejoice over, and which the eyes of the negligent are amazed, and which the wrongdoers enjoy – without thinking of the hereafter. Then it all passes by quickly and disappears and kills those who love and adore it and they egret at a time when regret is of no benefit. Then when come forward at the time of Resurrection they will know what they were upon and that Allah had only placed it as a trial and test, to see who would be deceived by it as opposed to who would be better in deed as the Exalted says (what means): “Indeed, We have made that which is on the earth adornment for it that We may test them [as to] which of them is best in deed. And indeed, We will make that which is upon it [into] a barren ground.” (18:7)
The immediate provisions of your Lord of knowledge, faith and the reality of righteous deeds and the deferred provisions of everlasting pleasures and a good life in the neighbourhood of your Lord, the Merciful, is greater (in essence and description) than what We have bestowed upon some and it is more lasting for it never gets cut off; food and shelter is continuous as the Exalted says (what means): “But you prefer the worldly life, While the Hereafter is better and more enduring.” (87:16-17)
In this verse there is an indication that if a slave sees himself having cravings for the beauties of the world and is inclined towards them, he should remind himself of what is ahead from the provisions of his Lord and balance between the two.” End quote from “Tafsir as-S’adi” (pg. 516)
Indeed your happiness lies your having a good opinion of your Lord, and your Lord (His Glory is great) is as one hopes Him to be, so He is more deserving than beauty and He is worthy of fear and adequate for [granting] forgiveness.
Your happiness lies in being pleased with Allah’s choice for you and in knowing that it is better than what you choose for yourself and in asking Allah of His bounties and in knowing that He is appreciative and Knowing and Wise and Merciful.
So O maidservant of Allah, hasten to repentance to your Lord from what the devil has cast into your heart and caused to flow from your pen or tongue from displeasure of the decree of Allah and displeasure at the distribution of Allah and having a bad opinion of Allah (may He be exalted). And know that the favours of Allah upon you and others is far from being enumerated and accounted for by you. Allah the Exalted says (what means): “And if you should count the favor of Allah, you could not enumerate them. Indeed, mankind is [generally] most unjust and ungrateful.” (14:34)
And the Exalted said (what means): “And if you should count the favors of Allah, you could not enumerate them. Indeed, Allah is Forgiving and Merciful.” (16:18)
For further benefit, look at answers 34170 and 100942
And Allah the Exalted knows best.
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SOURCE: http://islamqa.info/en/178673
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178673: She is complaining about being "ugly".
Allah is beautiful and loves beauty. With a dark complexion, acne prone skin, misaligned teeth, and average height, I consider myself ugly. So does that mean Allah hates me? I have heard taunts about my looks for a long time. I have been through a lot of social pressure because of how I look and remain depressed most of the time. Some have even blatantly expressed their concern over my marriage. Where is my position in Islam regarding all this, since Islam encourages men to marry beautiful women? I cannot thoroughly blame others for their concern, because they are in a way quoting the Quran. But then again where is my fault? I didn’t choose to be ugly. And how does one justify the fact one is rejected socially, rejected for jobs, rejected for marriage proposals, all because one is not good looking enough? Where is Allah’s justice in this when He has created us all equally?.
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[/FONT][FONT=wf_segoe-ui_light]Praise be to Allaah.
Know dear questioner, that all of Allah’s creation is good, but Allah may test a slave with sickness or a defect or ugliness and the like due to a wisdom He is aware of, and a benefit He wished for you to attain.
Beauty and ugliness are like sickness and health, wealth and poverty, and success and failure; Allah has distributed all provisions between His slaves through His vast wisdom, perfect mercy and abundant favour upon His slaves. Granting of any of those things or others is not an indication of Allah’s love for the one to whom He granted or provided those things. Nor is withholding any of them a sign of His displeasure towards the one being deprived. Allah says (what means):
“15. And as for man, when his Lord tries him and [thus] is generous to him and favors him, he says, "My Lord has honored me."
16. But when He tries him and restricts his provision, he says, "My Lord has humiliated me."
17. No! But you do not honor the orphan
18. And you do not encourage one another to feed the poor.
19. And you consume inheritance, devouring [it] altogether,
20. And you love wealth with immense love.” (al-Fajr 15-20)
Sh. As-S’adi (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
“Allah the Exalted informs of the nature of man as he is, that he is ignorant and unjust, and does not know the outcomes of things. He thinks that whatever condition he is in will continue and never cease and he thinks that Allah’s honouring him and favouring him in this world is an indication of his honour and and closeness to Him. And when “He tries him and restricts his provision” such that he has only his needs with nothing extra, then this is an insult from Allah. So Allah responds to him his estimation by saying (what means) “No!” i.e. Not everyone I have bestowed favours upon in the world is honoured by Me, and not everyone whom I have restricted provisions for is lowly before Me. Rather, wealth and poverty and abundance and restrictedness are tests from Allah and trials which He puts His slaves through, to see who is grateful to him and who is patient so that He may reward them a great reward for it as compared to those who do not, so they are given a painful punishment. As well: A slaves aspirations may not go beyond himself, due to weakness in zeal, so Allah rebukes them for not being concerned about the affairs of the needy creation…” End quote from Tafsir as-S’adi (924)
If people were to follow your example in your speech, thought and displeasure over the will of your Lord and His destiny for you –may Allah forgive you- there would only be complainers and disgruntled people on earth.
The ill would say: why have You made me ill and saved the people? The poor would say: Why have you made me poor and made others wealthy? Those being tried would say: Why are you trying me and left others in a good state?
The believer is to be pleased, observe patience and anticipate reward while others become annoyed with and complain about their Lord.
Do you not realize that you have two eyes with which you can see while millions cannot even see?!
Do you not see that you are able to walk on your own two feet, you go and come wherever you wish while an infinite number of people are paralyzed and disabled?!
Let’s say you lost all that; do you not realize Allah’s favour of Islam upon you, and that He chose you for this great favour (which all the pleasures of the earth cannot equal) over most of the creation who do not believe in Allah. On the Day of Resurrection, Allah the Exalted will say (what means): “Oh Adam! And he will respond, Here I am and blessed by You, and all good is in Your hands. Then He will say: Remove the delegation of the fire! He will say: And what is the delegation of the fire? He will say: From every thousand, nine hundred and ninety nine. Al-Bujari (3099) and Muslim (327)
Ponder over this story, O maidservant of Allah:
Al-Awza’i narrates from ‘Abdullah ibn Muhammad that he said:
I went out to the shore as a patrolman and our patrol at the time was in ‘Areesh Misr. When I arrived at the shore, I came upon an open area and there was tent on it. In the tent was a man who had no hands and legs and he was hard of hearing and sight. None of his limbs were of benefit to him but his tongue, and was saying: O Allah, grant me (the ability) to praise you a praise through which I can sufficiently thank You for the favours You have bestowed upon me and by which You have preferred me over many whom You have created a great preference.
Al-Awza’I said: ‘Abdulla said: By Allah, I will certainly go to this man and I shall certainly ask him about this speech. An understanding, or knowledge or inspiration which was inspired to him?
So I approached the man and greeted him and said to him: I heard you and you were saying: O Allah, grant me (the ability) to praise you a praise through which I can sufficiently thank You for the favours You have bestowed upon me and by which You have preferred me over many whom You have created a great preference.; so what favour from the favours of Allah upon you are you praising Him for? And in what way did He prefer you over others a great preference that you need to thank Him for it? He said: Don’t you see what my Lord has done? By Allah, if He sent the sky to me as a fire which burned me, or ordered the mountains to crush me, or the oceans to drown me, or the earth to swallow me up; it would only cause me to be more grateful to my Lord for the favour of this tongue He bestowed upon me.
However, O slave of Allah: As long as you have come to me, I have a need of you! Perhaps you see me and the state I am in, I cannot harm nor benefit myself. I had a young son who used to come to me at the time of prayer and help me do my ablution, and when I became hungry he’d feed me, and I became thirsty he’d provide me with a drink but I have missed him for the last three days, so please look for him on my behalf may Allah have mercy on you.
I said: By Allah, no creature could fulfill the need of another which is greater in reward with Allah than a need similar to yours. So I set out looking for the young boy, and I hadn’t gone far before I came by a sand hill, and behold I found the boy who had been preyed upon by a beast which ate his flesh! I did istirjaa’ (saying Indeed we belong to Allah and to Him is our return) and said: How am I going to be able to face this man with a gentle face?!
As I was heading towards him, the thikr (words of remembrance) of Ayyub the Prophet (may Allah’s peace and blessings be upon him) came to my heart. So when I reached him I greeted him and he responded and said: Are you not my companion? I said yes! He said: What did you do about my need? I said: Are you more honourable in the site of Allah or was Ayyub the Prophet? He said, of course Ayyub the Prophet. I said: Do you know what His Lord did with him? Did He not test him in his wealth, family and children? He said, yes. I said: How did He find him? He said: He found him patient, grateful and praising. I said: He was not pleased with that for him until his relatives and loved ones deserted him? He said, yes. I said: How did His Lord find him? He said: He found him patient, grateful and praising; make it short may Allah have mercy on you. I said to him: The young boy you sent me in search of, I found him in a sand hill having been preyed upon by a beast which had eaten his flesh. May Allah increase for you tour reward and may He inspire you with patience.
The tested man said: Praise be to Allah Who did not create from my progeny creations who would disobey Him and He would then punish them by the fire. He then did istirjaa’ and breathed a sigh and died.
I said: Indeed to Allah we belong and to Him is our return. What a huge calamity before me; a man like this, if I were to leave him the beasts would eat him, and if I stay I won’t be able to harm nor benefit. So I covered him in a cloak which was over him and sat at his head crying.
As I was sitting, four men came upon me and said: O slave of Allah, what is your situation and what is your story. So I told them my story and his. They said to me: uncover his face for us, perhaps we know him. I uncovered his face and the men fell upon him kissing his eyes and his hands alternately and saying: May our father be sacrificed; for how long these eyes were lowered from the prohibitions of Allah. May our father be sacrificed; for how long this body prostrated before Allah while the people were sleeping.
I said: Who is this, may Allah have mercy on you? They said, this is Abu Qilabah al-Jurmi, the companion of ibn ‘Abbas. He had tremendous love for Allah and the Prophet of Allah (may Allah’s peace and blessings be upon him)!!
So we washed him and shrouded him with clothing we had with us and prayed over him and buried him. The men left and I went back to my station. When night fell, I put my head down and saw him in a dream, in a garden from the gardens of Paradise wearing two garments from the garments of Paradise while reciting the revelation (which means): “Peace be upon you for what you patiently endured. And excellent is the final home.” (13:24).
I said: Aren’t you my companion? He said, yes. I said: How did you receive this?! He said: Verily, with Allah are levels that cannot be attained except with patience at times of trial and gratitude at times of prosperity along with fear of Allah, the Mighty and Majestic, in private and in public. End quote from “ath-Thiqaat” by ibn Hibban (5:3-5)
Have you seen the state of this slave O maidservant of Allah? Did you see his praise of and pleasure with his Lord? Did you see how the blessing of faith from Allah was greater to him than all he lost? Do you see that there are many things for which you and others can still praise and thank Allah for. They are innumerable, leave alone being able to properly thank Allah for them. So, O maidservant of Allah, don’t deprive yourself of those lofty positions by being upset with the will of Allah or by thinking evil of Him or allowing your tongue to tire of remembering Allah and praising Him and thanking Him and turning to blaming Him and having a bad opinion of Him.
If you don’t have a share of beauty, then what did the non Muslim woman who was deprived of Islam do with her beauty while your Lord granted it (Islam) to you? Where is she now if she has passed on? And where will she be tomorrow if she died upon disbelief? Will her beauty be of benefit to her on the Day when neither wealth nor children will be of benefit, except those who come to Allah with pure hearts?
Would you really be pleased with the alternative? That you be beautiful but non Muslim and that she be ugly but Muslim?
There are many such questions you need to ask yourself and answer in light of this reality in which you are displeased with your Lord.
Allah, the Mighty and Majestic, says (what means): “And do not extend your eyes toward that by which We have given enjoyment to [some] categories of them, [its being but] the splendor of worldly life by which We test them. And the provision of your Lord is better and more enduring.” (20:131)
Sh. As-S’adi (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
“i.e. Don’t extend your eyes out of amazement and don’t keep looking out of approval at what people are enjoying of worldly gains such as tasty food and drink and fancy clothing and adorned homes and beautified women, for all that is from the splendor of worldly life which the souls of deceived ones rejoice over, and which the eyes of the negligent are amazed, and which the wrongdoers enjoy – without thinking of the hereafter. Then it all passes by quickly and disappears and kills those who love and adore it and they egret at a time when regret is of no benefit. Then when come forward at the time of Resurrection they will know what they were upon and that Allah had only placed it as a trial and test, to see who would be deceived by it as opposed to who would be better in deed as the Exalted says (what means): “Indeed, We have made that which is on the earth adornment for it that We may test them [as to] which of them is best in deed. And indeed, We will make that which is upon it [into] a barren ground.” (18:7)
The immediate provisions of your Lord of knowledge, faith and the reality of righteous deeds and the deferred provisions of everlasting pleasures and a good life in the neighbourhood of your Lord, the Merciful, is greater (in essence and description) than what We have bestowed upon some and it is more lasting for it never gets cut off; food and shelter is continuous as the Exalted says (what means): “But you prefer the worldly life, While the Hereafter is better and more enduring.” (87:16-17)
In this verse there is an indication that if a slave sees himself having cravings for the beauties of the world and is inclined towards them, he should remind himself of what is ahead from the provisions of his Lord and balance between the two.” End quote from “Tafsir as-S’adi” (pg. 516)
Indeed your happiness lies your having a good opinion of your Lord, and your Lord (His Glory is great) is as one hopes Him to be, so He is more deserving than beauty and He is worthy of fear and adequate for [granting] forgiveness.
Your happiness lies in being pleased with Allah’s choice for you and in knowing that it is better than what you choose for yourself and in asking Allah of His bounties and in knowing that He is appreciative and Knowing and Wise and Merciful.
So O maidservant of Allah, hasten to repentance to your Lord from what the devil has cast into your heart and caused to flow from your pen or tongue from displeasure of the decree of Allah and displeasure at the distribution of Allah and having a bad opinion of Allah (may He be exalted). And know that the favours of Allah upon you and others is far from being enumerated and accounted for by you. Allah the Exalted says (what means): “And if you should count the favor of Allah, you could not enumerate them. Indeed, mankind is [generally] most unjust and ungrateful.” (14:34)
And the Exalted said (what means): “And if you should count the favors of Allah, you could not enumerate them. Indeed, Allah is Forgiving and Merciful.” (16:18)
For further benefit, look at answers 34170 and 100942
And Allah the Exalted knows best.
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SOURCE: http://islamqa.info/en/178673
BeTheChange
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If you haven't already done so, please listen to this very mini lecture as well.
Allah swt is the controller & decides what we should or should not be blessed with.
Appreciate what you have!
"This life is not meant to be fair".
It's a fab lecture.
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~ Umm Aaminah ~
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:salamext:
From a personal opinion brother, I have been struggling with weight all my life. I lost quite a significant amount, got married, put it back on, got pregnant, put more on, lost a huge amount after giving birth and hitting gym, and now have gained a bit more again.
The point of the confusing paragraph above, is that when I lost weight a couple of times, I wanted to wear fitted clothes, and Allaah :swt: most definitely Knew what I was going through, and so I feel that I gained weight again so I didn’t wear fitted clothes and plunged into sin. :alhamd:
Allaah :swt: does everything for our best, Allaah :swt: Loves us 70x more than our own mother, and your mother would never want anything bad for you, would she?
May Allaah :swt: grant you Sabr and Tawakkul through this, Ameen.
From a personal opinion brother, I have been struggling with weight all my life. I lost quite a significant amount, got married, put it back on, got pregnant, put more on, lost a huge amount after giving birth and hitting gym, and now have gained a bit more again.
The point of the confusing paragraph above, is that when I lost weight a couple of times, I wanted to wear fitted clothes, and Allaah :swt: most definitely Knew what I was going through, and so I feel that I gained weight again so I didn’t wear fitted clothes and plunged into sin. :alhamd:
Allaah :swt: does everything for our best, Allaah :swt: Loves us 70x more than our own mother, and your mother would never want anything bad for you, would she?
May Allaah :swt: grant you Sabr and Tawakkul through this, Ameen.