Dp in marriage process

[anonymous]

Assalamualaikum

These days marriage process requires seeing picture of girls etc. in today's technology world, specially in matrimonial sites men ask parents or daughter to show picture or display before further proceeding. Is it ethical?

 

[*charisma*]

Walaikum Asalaam

It's better if the pictures are shown in person, or the girl (while dressed islamically) shows her face in person with the presence of her parents. I wouldn't suggest pictures be sent over the internet unless there's a third party (eg. a sensible mahram) involved. For example if the girl and suitor live far apart, and the girl's mahram lived close to this suitor, the suitor and mahram can arrange a meeting together. The girl's parents can send her picture through email to this entrusted mahram and he is then able to show it to to the suitor (not giving him a copy of course, but just showing him). This is just my personal opinion though because I would not like to know that someone has a hold of my picture, especially these days where like you said technology is involved. Islamically though, it's permissible for the man to see the woman he is going to marry as long as he is not looking at her lustfully, and preferably after he is interested in her other qualities. You can read more about it here: https://islamqa.info/en/99863

 

[ardianto]

Unfortunately there are men who judge a woman only by beauty. So they want to see the woman with intention "If she is beautiful, I will propose marriage. But if she is not beautiful, sorry, I will seek another woman", without consider this woman character and personality. And unfortunately too, there are many men like this who come to matrimonial sites.


And at the OP. If a man in matrimonial site too fast to ask your picture, and urge you. It's indicate this man is type of man that I describe above.

 

[Huzaifah ibn Adam]

وعليكم السلام ورحمة الله وبركاته​

Never send a picture over the internet. A picture sent to someone over the internet remains in the possession of that person. Say a man has a daughter, and he's living in England, and a boy puts in a proposal but he's currently living in Pakistan. If he wants to see her, he must come to England and see her. Sending a picture over the internet, to him, will allow him to see her, yes, but what if he then retracts the proposal? Now he's still sitting with the picture, and there's no way you'll be able to get it back. You won't even know if he has it or not. That's why it's best to do all of these things in person. That way, all sorts of problems can be avoided.

 

[aaj]

:wasalam:

It really all depends on the situation, environment and context. I wouldn't advise randomly giving out your pictures online to those interested. Matrimonial have uploading pictures but hidden for privacy which others have to request, which you can state in your profile will be available only if they have one and also are sincere in seeking marriage and not just picture hunting or window shopping. There's also middle people, like those aunties with their connections. They have gone online as well. What they do is give you the contact information to other parties interested and seeking. The two parties can talk and exchange pictures via email. If there's no interest from either side then just move onto the next. For the most part, people will delete the picture as there's no point keeping it if you are seeking marriage. But then there may be those as well who likes to keep them anyways. It also depends on the environment/context in the sense that someone from east maybe more likely to keep your picture and even digitally alter it if they have less than honorable motives whereas someone from the west would be of a different mindset and most likely will not bother keeping the picture if there's no interest. So it would be your best judgement decision depending on the circumstance, environment and context of the situation.

As for it being ethical, that all depends. If they are just window shopping or picture collectors and not a serious party then it's unethical. If they are serious but think its best to have a look first so as to not waste each others time then they could do that, although it would be short sighted of them to go that route. It's better to talk and become a bit acquainted with the other party first. And even if there's no interest after the picture and wish each other good luck and request to keep them in mind should they find suitable to your needs they may come across. Lastly, you don't have to go with what they want only. You can have your guidelines and limits as to what and how you want to proceed and communicate that to them.

 

[azc]

Walaikum Asalaam It's better if the pictures are shown in person, or the girl (while dressed islamically) shows her face in person with the presence of her parents. I wouldn't suggest pictures be sent over the internet unless there's a third party (eg. a sensible mahram) involved. For example if the girl and suitor live far apart, and the girl's mahram lived close to this suitor, the suitor and mahram can arrange a meeting together. The girl's parents can send her picture through email to this entrusted mahram and he is then able to show it to to the suitor (not giving him a copy of course, but just showing him). This is just my personal opinion though because I would not like to know that someone has a hold of my picture, especially these days where like you said technology is involved. Islamically though, it's permissible for the man to see the woman he is going to marry as long as he is not looking at her lustfully, and preferably after he is interested in her other qualities. You can read more about it here: https://islamqa.info/en/99863

perfect ! :jz: i agree with you

 

[anonymous]

Jazak Allah Khair everyone for your replies. I appreciate your advice and hope we can follow the right paths.