Duah and prayer needed for love

[Fate]

Assalamu alaikum,
I really need help. I admit i am not religous but i do pray namaz five times a day and read the Quran often. I am in dyer need of help. I am in so much pain.

I fell in love with this boy whom y parents are not approving of because he is not well educated. He is actually my cousin. I have tried everything in my power to persuade my parents. I cannot live without him.. i know everyone says that. But i have loved him since i was 14 years old when we went back home. I waited 5 years for him and he came down to this country. Its been 2 years since he has been here and his visa expires on saturday. I was in hospital for being ill and i ended up over-dosing myself. I know that this is not right but at that time my head was not working.
I have also been diagnosed with acute depression and the doctors said if i dont recieve help then it can be serious.
My parents have practically put me on lock down for the last year. My friends have suggested running away with him but i cannot do that. I have not got the guts to do that.

The boy i love prays five times a day and we have been praying and reading the Quran and making duah but nothing seems to change my dads mind. I am awake every night because i cannot sleep. I read the Quran and Ya seen surah daily. Please help me. I am in dyer need of help.Please is there any duahs??

 

[Asiyah3]

:wa:

A person very dear to me is now at present in the same situation as you. I advised her to forget that guy and pray to Allah to grant her someone better with whom she may find happiness. My sincere advice to you is the same. This kind of "love" is not clean and pure.

May Allah grant you patience.

 

[Muslim Woman]

Salaam

sis , offer Istekhara salat . If see anything positive , then try to convince parent again but don't do anything silly.

If see negative , then stay away from him . Time is the great healer .

 

[Salahudeen]

I'm sorry to hear your circumstances, I'm not really sure how to advise you, just whatever happens is the best thing for you even though you can't see it now. We may want something so badly but Allah knows it's not good for us so he doesn't give it to us. And we feel sad about the thing we lost but we have to remember the goal of life and realise Allah knows best.

I can suggest you pray tahajjud prayer at night and call upon Allah to make your affairs easy. This is the time of the night when Allah descends to the lowest heaven and says "who is there that is asking for my forgiveness so that I may forgive him" this is a good time to make du'a.

Also why don't you try getting an elder who your dad respects to talk to him. Like an Imam or an elder uncle. You know it seems like the end of the world right now if you didn't marry this boy but it's not, it just feels like that cos you're infatuated with him. Don't feel despair if it doesn't happen cos this is the nature of life, we go through trials that upset us and bring us pain and at the time we feel like we just wanna die but you have to be strong and just go through the motions untill things get better and they will InshAllah, I suppose the reason for this is that life is a test as Allah says in the Qur'an

1. Blessed is He in Whose Hand is the dominion, and He is Able to do all things.

2. Who has created death and life, that He may test you which of you is best in deed. And He is the All-Mighty, the Oft-Forgiving;

If life was easy it wouldn't be much of a test, imagine how peaceful you will be in paradise if you strive for it you will get it InshAllah, the paradise where everyone wants to be.

we must all ways remember Allah knows whats best for us even if we don't like it we must learn to accept it.

When the prophet's (Saw) son died he said the following "The eyes are shedding tears, the heart is grieved and we will not say anything except that which pleases our Lord" this is a profound statement, can you imagine the pain he was going through but still he only cared about earning Allah's pleasure. This statement brings me comfort in times of difficulty I hope it does the same for you also.

 

[Ummu Sufyaan]

wa alaykum us-Salaam
-calm down, think rationally try not let your emotions get to you and if they do just keep telling and calming yourself that everything is as allah wants it...its all qadr.

-try to convince your parents and if you cant, try your best to move on. you just have to tell yourself that it cannot be. avoid weaving dreams in your head about being with him, otherwise you are just settign yourself to get hurt of you dont marry him....so give yourself adequate disclosure.

-if things dont work out, try your best to remove yourself away from him so dont see him talk to him...this inshaAllah will help with the healing process and being around him will only deepen the wounds and cause much bitterness.

-alhamudlillah its good that you dont want to run away with him, this isnt the solution.

-cant he get educated?

-sometimes some chapters in our life cannot every be closed even if we try they always remain apart of us so don't give up by thinking there is something wrong with you. its just hte way life pans out...we are so sensitive that even the slightest thing may leave deep traces and/or the thing the befalls us may be so strong that again if leaves its deep traces. not everything in life can you just have to live with it...having said that you shouldn't give up hope that things will get better for you, be it with this guy or another.

-repent if you loving him has caused you to sin in anyway.

-above all and most important, remember that this is life-its a test...tomorrow we are going to die and its like nothing ever happened expect what good deeds we chose to do and what sins we avoided. that's it. we are shrouded, buried and integrated into the soil. this is just the meantime.


may allah remove every pain and burden and replace it with tranquility in this life and aakhira.

 

[cat eyes]

Assalamu alaikum,
I really need help. I admit i am not religous but i do pray namaz five times a day and read the Quran often. I am in dyer need of help. I am in so much pain.

I fell in love with this boy whom y parents are not approving of because he is not well educated. He is actually my cousin. I have tried everything in my power to persuade my parents. I cannot live without him.. i know everyone says that. But i have loved him since i was 14 years old when we went back home. I waited 5 years for him and he came down to this country. Its been 2 years since he has been here and his visa expires on saturday. I was in hospital for being ill and i ended up over-dosing myself. I know that this is not right but at that time my head was not working.
I have also been diagnosed with acute depression and the doctors said if i dont recieve help then it can be serious.
My parents have practically put me on lock down for the last year. My friends have suggested running away with him but i cannot do that. I have not got the guts to do that.

The boy i love prays five times a day and we have been praying and reading the Quran and making duah but nothing seems to change my dads mind. I am awake every night because i cannot sleep. I read the Quran and Ya seen surah daily. Please help me. I am in dyer need of help.Please is there any duahs??

sometimes parents are absolutely correct. when they say hes not well educated this must mean they have met him and didn't feel he was good enough to take care of you.

Believe me there is people who are married to the most foolish of husbands that are totally dependent on there wives for everything they don't have a degree or anything like this

So they get there wife to work and bring in the food. you might think you know him sister but what makes you so sure? speak with elders who have experience about these things.

your friends are wrong and are trying to mislead you into doing more destruction to yourself. i'm not saying education is important but it certainly shapes a person in to wise adult

also his visa is expiring, and he wants to marry you as soon as possible your parents are probably insecure about this too and a whole load of things. sister please be cautious inshallah.

in love, we are blind. just accept this is the will of Allah and this will ease your pain once you put your full trust and reliance on Allah swt.

 

[Dagless]

If he is working, can support you, is praying, and you are happy with him then it's odd your parents are so opposed. Is there some other bad feeling between your families?

You have mentioned you love him and the things you've done, but you didn't say if he loves you. Has he said he does? Does he show it? What has he done? Has he talked to your parents? To his parents? How do you know he loves you that much? Do you guys even understand what love means? Maybe you're both young and have watched too many Bollywood films?

My advice:

- Pray for guidance. Accept any signs you get.

- If you think there is any doubt in either persons feelings then leave it and move on.

- This situation is separate from your life. Forget about overdosing or getting depressed. Whatever happens; trust in Allah that it will happen for the best so don't worry about it. You have other responsibilities in life which are not related to this guy (your family, your future, your prayer, your contribution), even if it doesn't work out with him you still need to take care of those. He is not everything, so stop inflating his worth.

- If you're both 100% sure but don't want to run away then do what your parents say. Back off and see if the feelings fade. You may even realise there is someone better out there for you (or he might - either way you'll know he wasn't for you).

- Your choices are still your own. You've said you don't want to run away but that doesn't mean there is nothing you can do. If neither of you look at or marry other people then maybe one day your parents will have to let you marry? However, maybe they won't, and he'll end up marrying someone else, and you'll die old and alone (Insha'Allah that won't happen but just warning you).

- Whatever you decide; it's not going to be easy, but then what is?

 

[Ummu Sufyaan]

You have mentioned you love him and the things you've done, but you didn't say if he loves you. Has he said he does? Does he show it? What has he done? Has he talked to your parents? To his parents? How do you know he loves you that much? Do you guys even understand what love means? Maybe you're both young and have watched too many Bollywood films?

that it a really important point. has he actually proposed to you? or spoken about marriage? what do you know about his feelings for you? is he interested in someone else? has he been promised to someone else? if he does like you, is he willing to study more to get your parents approval (if that's what will make your parents agree, he would be more than willing to do that if he really liked you)