Dunya issues

[anonymous]

I wanted some advice from brothers and sisters with a problem I have...my problem is alhamduliah by the will of Allah i have been given very good looks (may Allah match a good/better character with it an protect God Willing) I have also alot of charisma and have good ways with language... i am a male....and i pray and fast and try to be on the correct way.

But this is my problem i feel like i am such a great temptation to the opposite sex, worst is i am a bad temptation to even the sisters as if they some how start conversing with me they will not want to stop and prob think "marriage partner"...not intrested in marriage at the moment....however i am weak too and i too get affected because then that female will always be on my mind..Subhanllah its such a hardship for me and marriage may help a tiny bit but not the solution trust me... so what advice can you give? imsad i dont want Allah to remove to blessing but just want some sort of way to channel it better?

 

[ayan333]

I wanted some advice from brothers and sisters with a problem I have...my problem is alhamduliah by the will of Allah i have been given very good looks (may Allah match a good/better character with it an protect God Willing) I have also alot of charisma and have good ways with language... i am a male....and i pray and fast and try to be on the correct way.

But this is my problem i feel like i am such a great temptation to the opposite sex, worst is i am a bad temptation to even the sisters as if they some how start conversing with me they will not want to stop and prob think "marriage partner"...not intrested in marriage at the moment....however i am weak too and i too get affected because then that female will always be on my mind..Subhanllah its such a hardship for me and marriage may help a tiny bit but not the solution trust me... so what advice can you give? imsad i dont want Allah to remove to blessing but just want some sort of way to channel it better?

well theres alot of people out there with same problem

i understand your "beauty" can be both a negative and positive aspect in your life

just think about it this way: You beauty is a test.ALLAH (SWA) is testing you on weather or not you are capable of refraining yourself from the opposite sex

and ALLAH (SWA) Knows best!

 

[Umu 'Isa]

do you have a beard, brother? I suggest you grow one (fist length) if you don't. That should keep the sisters away insha Allaah.

 

[IbnAbdulHakim]

Fist length beard bro ! trust me only the super shameless ones gnna approach you after that.


Assalamu alaikum!

 

[piXie]

Brother, I would advise you to read and study the Tafseer of Surah Yusuf (A.S). Let him be your inspiration.

 

[anonymous]

Jazkallah khair for the response.

just think about it this way: You beauty is a test.ALLAH (SWA) is testing you on weather or not you are capable of refraining yourself from the opposite sex

i belive that alot but subhanllah its so hard for me you don't understand.

do you have a beard, brother? I suggest you grow one (fist length) if you don't. That should keep the sisters away insha Allaah.

Alhamduliah that was one of the reasons that help me to grow beard but ofcourse it was cos its fard i belive. Its not a 5' clock shadow beard either astagfirullah but rather long. But all that has done is increased beauty alhamduliah the beard is not there to make us look ugly. But what i realise is alot of the weaker emman muslimah like those who have just begun to practice are more attracted easily as in they are weak an start chating whilst the more firm ones try not to even gaze their look mashallah. so i wouldnt call them shameless... its really hard to avoid being at work in mixed environment.

Brother, I would advise you to read and study the Tafseer of Surah Yusuf (A.S). Let him be your inspiration.

Na3m, i try to follow that advice but astagfirullah i forget sometimes and the weakness of myself towards the opposite sex is not helping. Jazkallah khair for the reminders everyone. I just wish i lived in islamic environment.... i suppose no trials means no distinction between good and bad. imsad

 

[crayon]

Don't think it's much better in islamic environments, brother, fitna is everywhere nowadays.
Perhaps you give off a "come talk to me i'm interested" kind of vibe without knowing it?

 

[AnonymousPoster]

Brother, I would advise you to read and study the Tafseer of Surah Yusuf (A.S). Let him be your inspiration.

Did you think this was me? :-[ Well.. it isn't! Sorry to disappoint you my ickle super person,

At Akhi, Alhamdhulillah that Allaah has granted you good looks right?! Realise this is a blessing as well as a test and work with it, hardships can only make you stronger, it is impossible to run away from these trials, you've got to face them!

You shouldn't feel like you're a temptation to girlies akhi, if you lower your gaze and they lower theirs, wheres the problem?

Allaah (Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala) The exalted has said:
Tell the believeing men to lower their gaze (24:30)
The ear and the eye and the heart shall all be called to account (17:36)
He knoweth the traitor of the eyes, and that which the bossoms hide (40:19)
Lo! Ty Lord is ever watchful (89:14)

If marriage is a tiny part of the solution you're hoping for, go for it! What are you waiting for, besides every little helps, ahaha I love that Tesco woman! :-[

You can't have everything you want akhi, but think of it this way, if you've lived your paradise in this life, theres no chance you getting it in the akhirah, so live you worldly life through hardships and inshaAllaah you will ultimately be rewarded with Paradise!

:salamext:

 

[alcurad]

perhaps the way you think is causing you trouble too?
anyway normal human relationships are bot forbidden, simply talking to someone is not bad per se, perhaps if you marry that will help much though. think about it, if you feel yourself wanting to interact that means you need it right? so perhaps you might want to consider marriage, in the end all humans have the need for a partner of the opposite sex.

 

[ayan333]

they suggested a beard not so it can make you look "unattractable" but so the females will no that you are are a relgious person...

come on!

wudl a sister be mroe likely to aproach a brother with a breard or one w/out a beard?

 

[alcurad]

they suggested a bread

bread was it?

 

[noorseeker]

girls dont really approach guys do they, i have a problem where like yesterday, i was so wishing i want to be good looking, was having an ugly day,

where i think if you are goodlooking then you are a happpy person,

a part of me wants to be looked at by females, because ithink it will make me feel better.

but its down to my low self esteem, i dont wana rely on people to make me happy.

so there you are you got the one thing i crave for and your upset.
so may be it shows me that sometimes the things you really want in life might not make you happy

you have my respect bro, for fighting those temptation

 

[anonymous]

jazkallah khairyun for all replies :thumbs_up

Perhaps you give off a "come talk to me i'm interested" kind of vibe without knowing it?

i think this maybe the main thing combined with the fact i do not lower my gaze from the eyes of the other person.

You can't have everything you want akhi, but think of it this way, if you've lived your paradise in this life, theres no chance you getting it in the akhirah, so live you worldly life through hardships and inshaAllaah you will ultimately be rewarded with Paradise!

very true, may Allah accept us into jannah.


Night star be happy with what Allah has given you it is all a trial....true happiness comes with obeying Allah