Asalamualykum Smallkid,
I know you know this but am going to kindly remind you again, because, we humans, need constant reminders.
“And We are nearer to him than his jugular vein (by Our Knowledge).” [50:16]
So, if you read your comments above, how can Allah swt abandon you?
By being able to breath easily, by being able to see without a problem, by being able to touch/type and use all your other senses and body how has Allah swt abandoned you?
The onus lies within us and we need to take the responsibility and accountability. We have abandoned Allah swt - Allah swt can never abandon us, because, he loves us more than our mother.
I know i can't comprehend this but this is something you should think about.
Khushu in salaah doesn't come the first time, the second time or the third time. It is a relationship with Allah swt. You need to INVEST in this relationship through your time, your mind and heart. Keep praying, don't give up and CHANGE how you perceive and think about Allah swt.
By THINKING negatively, the output will also be negative. By thinking positively, the output will be positive in sha Allah.
Did you read the article i copied & pasted in this thread? >> http://www.islamicboard.com/advice-and-support/134310481-god-exist.html