Mashallah sister i admire your courage and strength may allah make your path easy for you and grant you rewards in this life and hereafter ameen.
I'm very touched by your post hope you are well and its nice to know your feeling better today. I just some across some stuff which i found quite comforting i thought i share it with you as well it might help you.
'Al-Ghazali said,"If you see Allah, Mighty and Magnificent, holding back this world from you, frequently trying you with adversity and tribulation, know that you hold a great status with Him. Know that He is dealing with you as He does with His Awliya' and chosen elite, and is watching over you, have you not heard His saying, "So wait steadfastly for the judgment of your Lord - you are certainly before Our eyes.
{At-Tur 52:48}"
(Quran 2:143)
"And Allah would never let your faith become fruitless. Truley, Allah is Most Kind with his people, and All-Compassionate"
Remember Allah test the ones he loves so that they can have the best place in jannah. Quran 29:2
'Do people think they will be left alone because they say 'we believe' and not be tested'
(Quran 13:28)
“Truly, in remembering God do hearts find rest.” (Quran 4:77)
“Say: Short is the enjoyment of this world. The Hereafter is (far) better for him who fears God.”
Allah says
"Let My servants know that I have the power to grant My servants' wishes."
A believer who makes Dua receives one of three things:
1. Either he will quickly have his Dua answered,
2. or he will get in the Hereafter,
3. or something bad will be prevented from him equal to the value of his Dua.
Thankyou all so very much for all your duas and support. I was just having a bad day.............. I am feeling better today you know just sometimes it gets tooo much but InshaAllah Allah is with me Ameen.:-\