Engagement

[Intisar]

The husband should be able to earn livelihood for the family and that is known as "enough money".

Well that's given ukhtee, but I meant there I can't give a specific amount.

Like i say money makes the world go round...
It's one thing that every family looks at before they get their daughter married off...

You say I have a decent job I am lawayer (20k above), they say YES
You say I have decent job I am a cleaner (15-18k), they say NO

You say I have a degree in Chemistry, They say YES
you say I went to fulltime work education took alot out of me, They say No

it's so.....:grumbling

Akhee it has a lot to do with prestige like I said before. It sounds better to be married to a lawyer than a plumber.

 

[ahsan28]

ukhtee

?????? Do u mean dowry?

 

[SirDemonic]

Well that's given ukhtee, but I meant there I can't give a specific amount.



Akhee it has a lot to do with prestige like I said before. It sounds better to be married to a lawyer than a plumber.

So its about a sounding better? when your tap water goes bust the plumber comes, when your in court your lawyer comes so whats the difference?

Their both Honest jobs, It's Lotto money or Drug money is it now...

It's all about sounding is it not...

Sis: Heard you got married Sis (afa)?
Sis (afa):Yeah to a LAWYER!!
Sis: Wow!!

Remix time....

Sis: Heard you got married sis (afa)?
Sis (afa): yeah to a PLUMBER!!
Sis: ooooh!!

is that how it goes in reality

 

[Intisar]

So its about a sounding better? when your tap water goes bust the plumber comes, when your in court your lawyer comes so whats the difference?

Their both Honest jobs, It's Lotto money or Drug money is it now...

It's all about sounding is it not...

Sis: Heard you got married Sis (afa)?
Sis (afa):Yeah to a LAWYER!!
Sis: Wow!!

Remix time....

Sis: Heard you got married sis (afa)?
Sis (afa): yeah to a PLUMBER!!
Sis: ooooh!!

is that how it goes in reality

Looooooooool @ remix time. To be honest, it's not my personal opinion because I could care less what my husband works as, as long as he can take of the family. But some people are very superficial and they want to impress others, it's not really how they feel. Down let it bring you down though, you should do something you will love doing for the rest of your life and that you'll be satisfied and proud of. I get enough pressure from my family as it is to become a ''doctor'' but personally, I can't see myself working in that field. :hmm: It's somewhat of the same predicament, but you should always remember that you're doing something YOU'RE happy with because you're the one whose going to be getting up every morning to do that job that you went to for years of schooling just to end up working as.

Ahsan, If you're asking what Ukhtee means it means my sister. :sunny:

 

[ahsan28]

Ahsan, If you're asking what Ukhtee means it means my sister. :sunny:

Sis, im not a female, its my duty to say u ukhtee

 

[SirDemonic]

Looooooooool @ remix time. To be honest, it's not my personal opinion because I could care less what my husband works as, as long as he can take of the family. But some people are very superficial and they want to impress others, it's not really how they feel. Down let it bring you down though, you should do something you will love doing for the rest of your life and that you'll be satisfied and proud of. I get enough pressure from my family as it is to become a ''doctor'' but personally, I can't see myself working in that field. :hmm: It's somewhat of the same predicament, but you should always remember that you're doing something YOU'RE happy with because you're the one whose going to be getting up every morning to do that job that you went to for years of schooling just to end up working as.

Ahsan, If you're asking what Ukhtee means it means my sister. :sunny:

Thats what am trying to say, you took the words out my mouth lol but to be honest why i should care anymore it's no point neither can i change it or make a difference

 

[Intisar]

Sis, im not a female, its my duty to say u ukhtee

:-[ :statisfie Looooooooooooool I was under the impression that you were a female. I thought 'Ahsan' was a female name. Sorry. =|

Sir Demonic, where is this coming from anyway? Are you trying to approach a girl's family but you just don't think her family accept you? :rollseyes

 

[SirDemonic]

:-[ :statisfie Looooooooooooool I was under the impression that you were a female. I thought 'Ahsan' was a female name. Sorry. =|

Sir Demonic, where is this coming from anyway? Are you trying to approach a girl's family but you just don't think her family accept you? :rollseyes

No nothing like that it's just a thought i know it would happen cause i dont have a degree

 

[Tania]

Remix time....

Sis: Heard you got married sis (afa)?
Sis (afa): yeah to a PLUMBER!!
Sis: ooooh!!

Because you are still going on, its a saying in my country, which apply more or less in this days: don't mix water with oil.
What means that:? In our society, educational speeking not everyone has a college degree. So that, in marriage:
*a high school degree man can marry with an high school degree woman
*a college degree man can marry with a college degree woman
*a man without school can marry with a woman without school
Why was that :? Because at certain education you have a way of speaking and thinking and it less probable someone without education will understand you and will can share your favourite hobbies or books or so on. Are gaps and the old people respected the saying for the sake of their children. We had less divorce than today.

The same saying can be apply to the money topic:
* a rich man with a rich woman
*a middle class man with a middle class woman
*a poor man with a poor woman

 

[ahsan28]

i know it would happen cause i dont have a degree

Try to get one in psychology, the easiest subject to handle with and happens to be the fav most amongst women. You will see never-ending proposals awaiting response from you. A sincere suggestion

 

[SirDemonic]

Because you are still going on, its a saying in my country, which apply more or less in this days: don't mix water with oil.
What means that:? In our society, educational speeking not everyone has a college degree. So that, in marriage:
*a high school degree man can marry with an high school degree woman
*a college degree man can marry with a college degree woman
*a man without school can marry with a woman without school
Why was that :? Because at certain education you have a way of speaking and thinking and it less probable someone without education will understand you and will can share your favourite hobbies or books or so on. Are gaps and the old people respected the saying for the sake of their children. We had less divorce than today.

The same saying can be apply to the money topic:
* a rich man with a rich woman
*a middle class man with a middle class woman
*a poor man with a poor woman

In my country their is a famous saying "Don't dip your biscuit in your tea" depending of which biscuit you hold 1 breaks and 1 doesn't so from where am standing your telling me never mix society then thats just crazy to be honest arich man learns from a poor man a poor man leans from a rich man...

Rich man marries a Rich woman? thats modern society your talking about
greed and money takes over.....
From what i heard from friends and family is this story..

Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) once told a man who can't find himself wife because he was poor and not the best looking, Prophet told him to go to a family who's daughter exceed her beauty, so the man went and knocked at the familes house... her parents open the door.. and he goes "The prophet told me ask for your permission to marry your a duaghter, They looked at him and started to worry because he was not g00d looking nor did he have a job so they said No but the daughter heard what the man said then she came running downstairs goes to her parents are you going against our prophet because money and looks? if the prophet says yes then i wish to marry him...
Guess what happens? if find himself a job... not the best and.... the lived happily ever after...

so is the story above me a lie?

 

[SirDemonic]

Try to get one in psychology, the easiest subject to handle with and happens to be the fav most amongst women. You will see never-ending proposals awaiting response from you. A sincere suggestion

Lol am going in to media such making video and music mainly videos
Thanks for the advice i might do that part time kay:

 

[sarah85]

Try to get one in psychology, the easiest subject to handle with and happens to be the fav most amongst women. You will see never-ending proposals awaiting response from you. A sincere suggestion

I think its a favourite for women to do a psychology course themselves but whether they want their prospective husband to do it...well thats another matter

 

[paradise88]

I think culture gets in the way of religion in some families. They forget about religion but use it in other cases. Why is it they will bring religion into other things but not marriage/engagement. Aslong as you marry a good muslim then i see no problem..hmmm

 

[SirDemonic]

I think culture gets in the way of religion in some families. They forget about religion but use it in other cases. Why is it they will bring religion into other things but not marriage/engagement. Aslong as you marry a good muslim then i see no problem..hmmm

Thats it culture and Islam don't mix
Islam should always come 1st but they don't use it, They use tradition or family pride so on so on.....

Thats what matters to people these days pride, honor, Family honor and reputation, Islam is a excuse these days :? but why? if you bring Islam in to culture they kill you for it but if you bring Culture in to Islam it's okay....

 

[Tania]

never mix society then thats just crazy to be honest arich man learns from a poor man a poor man leans from a rich man...

so is the story above me a lie?

I told you a saying from the past centuries :-[ A marquis married only from his rich world, he would never married with a peasant woman. We had several social categories and very rare you could find marriage crossing the boundaries. Today the society is changing, i can't tell you if the saying is still up. Also, the communism deleted the social categories, the rich became poor so the money issue was gone for a long time. In this days we have rich again and i know from media a man which took a girl for her look.

 

[SirDemonic]

So does the girl have the right to say who she marries?
In Islam does it say you have to marry to make your parents happy not yourself?
A good parent would love to see their child happy and marry a good Muslim with good Islamic knowledge right? Am not being big headed but i know about Islam then a average Muslim I may not have a degree but i did do Islamic studies