Great advice sis...Agree with the last point 100% been there done that and it really works (when I look back all I see is Devils face seriously and it's a good thing, really helps) hope it helps sis EgyptPrincess.
Ex won't stop hassling me
- Thread starter EgyptPrincess
- Start date
- Replies 44
- Views 7K
British Wholesales - Certified Wholesale Linen & Towels | Halal Food Gastronomy | vBulletin 4 php 8.0 patch
Great advice sis...Agree with the last point 100% been there done that and it really works (when I look back all I see is Devils face seriously and it's a good thing, really helps) hope it helps sis EgyptPrincess.
EgyptPrincess
Account Disabled
- Messages
- 580
- Reaction score
- 36
- Gender
- Female
- Religion
- Islam
Thank you for the encouragement sis with my family by my side I can stay strong and not fall for his tears. You're right I do feel guilty and responsible for his heartbreak... that is something which is hard to let go. when he rings and begs to see me just for 5 minutes to talk it's so difficult for me to deny him this... Allah is with me and things will become easier for both of us as time goes on I'm sure.
Thanks everyone for the encouragement and advice.
We live fairly close to each other so what am I going to do if I see him in town or he approaches me. Not answering the phone etc is one thing but bumping into him in the street or if he waits for me... that is something I cannot avoid. I'm really worried for his safety because my sister knows some people and I am worried she might beat him up or something. Probably just paranoid but I don't want harm to come to him of course... :facepalm:
:salamext:
The dua of Yusuf (A.S) when he was being hasselled by the women of Egypt;
He said, “My Lord, the prison is preferable to me than what they call on me to do. Unless You turn their guile away from me, it may well be that I will fall for them and so become a man of ignorance.” His Lord replied to him and turned away from him their guile and deviousness. He is the One Who Hears, the One Who Knows. [12:33-34]
Only Allah can protect you. Make sincere and heartfelt dua to Him.
The dua of Yusuf (A.S) when he was being hasselled by the women of Egypt;
He said, “My Lord, the prison is preferable to me than what they call on me to do. Unless You turn their guile away from me, it may well be that I will fall for them and so become a man of ignorance.” His Lord replied to him and turned away from him their guile and deviousness. He is the One Who Hears, the One Who Knows. [12:33-34]
Only Allah can protect you. Make sincere and heartfelt dua to Him.
You should ignore him that's all you can do. If you know the time he'l be out you should stay at home, go out when he's at work or u know he's busy elsewhere, for sometime go out with a family member..after sometime you can go back to your normal routine go out whenever you like.
Don't overthink about this just speak to your sis and tell her he's out of your life for good, tell her to assure u she won't harm him..say Iv got Islam, Iv got Allah swt so I can and I will manage without him but it's more difficult for him so please don't do anything to him he'l be over everything soon..do speak to her or youl keep thinking about this one thing and it might even take u back to him..id say this is a trick of shaitan he's just making you think of that person one way or another, don't give in. May Allah swt make it easy for u.
Don't overthink about this just speak to your sis and tell her he's out of your life for good, tell her to assure u she won't harm him..say Iv got Islam, Iv got Allah swt so I can and I will manage without him but it's more difficult for him so please don't do anything to him he'l be over everything soon..do speak to her or youl keep thinking about this one thing and it might even take u back to him..id say this is a trick of shaitan he's just making you think of that person one way or another, don't give in. May Allah swt make it easy for u.
muslimah_B
IB Expert
- Messages
- 1,049
- Reaction score
- 81
- Gender
- Female
- Religion
- Islam
Sis, if the phone rings and you realise its his voice, immediately lock off the phone, dont give him a chance to talk to you at all
Then you need to tell your sister to fear Allah, hes calling and texting, hes not trying to kidnap you or touching you or grabbing you away, her behaviour is not acceptable as a woman who fears Allah, your dad or older brother should be dealing with it not her if it gets to that point
If shes with you and she sees him she should just drag you along, and get on with your business like he doesnt exist
so who is going to get (rhetorical) and why would she even talk to people like that if theyre ok with beating people up for no valid reason..that is left behind with jahiliya (meant to)... if its her husband (if shes married) why would she want to be the cause of him possibly getting in trouble with police if caught, it will be on her and her fault.
So you need to let them know you have it handled.
He oviously is in alot of pain and has not yet accepted it, BUT you need to do the right thing and keep away and lock off everything.
If you see him when you go out, ignore him, go on about your business, look past him and pretend he doesnt exist, eventually he will get the point and leave it alone.... ONLY if stick to it and are consistent and do not give in even a inch, the moment you give in, you give him hope and more determination to try and "win you back" and the whole process starts over again
EgyptPrincess
Account Disabled
- Messages
- 580
- Reaction score
- 36
- Gender
- Female
- Religion
- Islam
Well my father isn't that type of person to threaten someone and my brother is only 12.
I don't think she would do anything it's probably just threats to try to get him to leave me alone.
Thank you muslimah_B for the support. Inshallah I'll stay steadfast
it's really nice to have this forum to ask for advice because often it's hard to discuss certain things with my friends in real life and my friends are not very pious so they're not that strict and the advice they gave me sometimes is not the best advice in the eyes of Islam. Ignoring him like he don't exist is so brutal... I can't possibly put someone through that kind of treatment but I'll do my best inshallah god knows my intentions here.
muslimah_B
IB Expert
- Messages
- 1,049
- Reaction score
- 81
- Gender
- Female
- Religion
- Islam
Well my father isn't that type of person to threaten someone and my brother is only 12.
I don't think she would do anything it's probably just threats to try to get him to leave me alone.
Thank you muslimah_B for the support. Inshallah I'll stay steadfast
Ignoring him like he don't exist is so brutal... I can't possibly put someone through that kind of treatment but I'll do my best inshallah god knows my intentions here.
Your welcome sis, any time xxx
I dont mean for your dad to threaten him lol but have a "man 2 man" talk it usually helps.
Its not about being strict sis, its about pushing ourselves to worship Allah the way He deserves to be worshipped, to follow the commandments of Allah the way they deserve to be followed.
We can always be doing something better eg
You dont wear hijab, push yourself to wear it, then push yourself to wear it so perfectly fully covering, then push yourself to niqab, then push yourself to wear gloves, then push yourself to burka etc etc
If you dont pray all 5 push yourself to pray all 5, when you do pray on time, push yourself to do witr, then push yourself to do all the sunnahs, then push yourself to wake up for tahajjud, then naffl just for the sake of Allah.
In all honesty and im not trying to be brutal or horrible, but sometimes we all need to check our companions who we turn to for advice, if they dont remind you of Allah or the advice is at best islamic, most of the time its better to find others, when you want to be better you will be dragged down further and left in a rut (im saying this from experience
Sis sometimes its just best to act like he doesnt exist, its better for him and most importantly you, he has to learn the hard way if he will not accept it the easy way.
The moment you give him time, in his head it means "yes she still loves me there is still a chance, im going to keep trying untill she gives in)
Trust me sis its the best thing to ignore their existance, he will get tired eventually lol
If you knew the struggles iv had to go through with these types of things, youd immediately do what i say and be like "i dont want a bar of that" lol
Just for a giggle il tell you one story before i came to islam i was with this "muslim" guy and he was a utter jerk things happend and i left him he botherd the life out of me and i changed everything to get away (during this time he had spread so much rumours about me to other people it became funny the things being said, he wanted to pretend he was a "big man" and wasnt hurt.
3 years later i saw somebody who i thought was from college but it ended up being his friend and he was behind me, i immediately lost control and cussed him down to the ground and walked away, they both followed me asking to speak to me.. for what i didnt care... he followed me down the whole long high street... we argued again as he wouldnt leave me alone and i wanted him out my face and to not hear his silly voice.. i got so angry i was going to smash his head with a brick..his friend got in the middle and had to seperate us, he finally got the message to move from me and walked away, his friend who i had no problems with looked at me with despair and was like hes sorry and to take care (Honeslty he looked like he wanted to cry from stopping a crazy girl killing his friend whooops)
Ahhh the times when i could act reckless LOL not anymore now i have to think and then react not just react
(I just told you this so you could laugh, in sha Allah this doenst happen to you lol)
EgyptPrincess
Account Disabled
- Messages
- 580
- Reaction score
- 36
- Gender
- Female
- Religion
- Islam
sounds like a horror movie lol. This is a bit different though because he was nasty to you and spread rumours about you. When he rings me up with his tearful voice and I can just imagine his puppy dog eyes and he talks to me lol :facepalm:
I'll do my best inshallah and I hope he doesn't do anything like that to me... to be honest I know that he won't, he is not that type of person and he knows if he ever spread any rumours or did anything to hurt me emotionally he'd lose me forever and I'd never forgive him... and I'd probably kill him
I'm sure I can move on from this, I've already done the hardest part after all... 
Cpt.America
Esteemed Member
- Messages
- 204
- Reaction score
- 27
- Gender
- Male
- Religion
- Islam
Im not going to lie, but this post was beautiful.
From the excellent excellent advice, right down to the head smashing.
Probably BECAUSE of the head smashing lol. Jk jk I kid I kid.
Excellent post Mashaallah
muslimah_B
IB Expert
- Messages
- 1,049
- Reaction score
- 81
- Gender
- Female
- Religion
- Islam
In sha Allah we can all benifit from it even if you only take one thing.
LOL guys i am no way condoning violence, unless its absolutely necessary and needed, please do not go trying to hurt people with bricks LOL
EgyptPrincess
Account Disabled
- Messages
- 580
- Reaction score
- 36
- Gender
- Female
- Religion
- Islam
I said it once and I'll say it again, you're literally my sister xD now that I'm thinking about it, perhaps you're both psychopaths!
muslimah_B
IB Expert
- Messages
- 1,049
- Reaction score
- 81
- Gender
- Female
- Religion
- Islam
sounds like a horror movie lol. This is a bit different though because he was nasty to you and spread rumours about you. When he rings me up with his tearful voice and I can just imagine his puppy dog eyes and he talks to me lol :facepalm:
I'll do my best inshallah and I hope he doesn't do anything like that to me... to be honest I know that he won't, he is not that type of person and he knows if he ever spread any rumours or did anything to hurt me emotionally he'd lose me forever and I'd never forgive him... and I'd probably kill him
It was a psycho film at the time LOL but now its a comedy
Oh no he done all of that soppy stuff, it made me want to puke LOL
Just pretend he is a creepy seriel killer stalker, that should make you want to stay away LOL
The hardest part is being continous staying away, the loneliness creeps in, the missing the company or someone to talk to at odd hours of the night when yoh cant sleep etc etc but you have to fight this and keep those feelings ar bay.
, you took the 1st step wich may have looked the hardest to you but mashAllah youv done so good so keep it up and do not fall back into it
But honestly sis, if i hadnt have gone through all the stuff i did, then i wouldnt have learned to value myself on a higher level, know the difference between a good man and "complete fool".. somtimes all the hardships we go through end up being such blessings in disguise to help us, teach us something, or just to learn to not trust that person... but you wont realise this untill you get through it and then look back you will realise the absolute mercy of Allah and will say "omg/subhanAllah that happend because of this" "thank you Allah" "Alhamdulilah"
Everyone makes mistakes, its just learning from them to not repeat which we can all find hard... But Alhamdulilah we have Allah who is sooo mercifull to us and will always give us an opportunity to repent and ask for forgiveness untill the time of death, so dont waste this time or your life with someone who does not believe in Allah, our mercifull Allah, who loves His slaves do not be with someone who does not love Allah back
muslimah_B
IB Expert
- Messages
- 1,049
- Reaction score
- 81
- Gender
- Female
- Religion
- Islam
LOL yea i probally am a psychopath atleast im able to admit it, unlike most people who think they're normal LOL i think theyre worse lol[emoji33]I said it once and I'll say it again, you're literally my sister xD now that I'm thinking about it, perhaps you're both psychopaths!
Psychopath on the loose! Be careful IB members. Lol.
I wonder someone with the capability of hitting brick on someone's face, why hesitated to catch that big spider mentioned in other thread. Catch it again if you can and throw at your so called oppressors [emoji48] [emoji48] [emoji48] [emoji49] [emoji49]
I wonder he was the first person to come on this forum. Apparently he has vanished since then. And I guess he also knows your username so probably he would be reading the advises you are getting, and also reading that you are becoming soft by his actions.Well my father isn't that type of person to threaten someone and my brother is only 12.
I don't think she would do anything it's probably just threats to try to get him to leave me alone.
Thank you muslimah_B for the support. Inshallah I'll stay steadfast
Ignoring him like he don't exist is so brutal... I can't possibly put someone through that kind of treatment but I'll do my best inshallah god knows my intentions here.
Secondly I remember his age was just 22. Not so much old according to current world, to take some mature decision. Currently he is going through a rough time of emotional break down. By the advises muslimah_b gave you, in shaa Allah he will learn lesson that you are serious about your way of life and religion. And that he has to go through Islam, independently in order to reach you.
If he is serious about you, and true to what he said when he was on this forum, he will definitely take religion seriously without you asking him.
I remember I mentioned this youtube guy before. Who had also fell into love with a muslim girl, who then left him because he did not become muslim. At first he blamed Islam for her being like that and called her racist etc, but later on studied Islam more deeply and became. Even though he did not marry her, but it went well for both of them.
Listen to his journey to Islam. It is very relevant to your case.
My Story: http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLp9U8Uoy1rP7s4vPDrFkVwE1Ddl3chBxU
muslimah_B
IB Expert
- Messages
- 1,049
- Reaction score
- 81
- Gender
- Female
- Religion
- Islam
LOL people are big and slow, easier to hit them with a brick than catch a icky spider that looks like something out of a horror film lol
I would rather take my chances with the brick than the spider LOL
EgyptPrincess
Account Disabled
- Messages
- 580
- Reaction score
- 36
- Gender
- Female
- Religion
- Islam
I've had a lot of support and advice through PM'ing sisters here. I've been asking many questions about this with them in secret but I wanted to post this to get some possible advice from others and men also. I don't think he comes here anymore but if he does and he sees this thread, at least he will know that I have the support of everyone here and he will see for himself how important Islam is for us
Glad to know that. And I am also happy that you are getting so much help from IB. I also once got good advices from IB. The members are really helpful here ma shaa Allah. And especially sisters are like expert in providing help [emoji14] (through PMs and posts Lol, men probably sleeping on PS4I've had a lot of support and advice through PM'ing sisters here. I've been asking many questions about this with them in secret but I wanted to post this to get some possible advice from others and men also. I don't think he comes here anymore but if he does and he sees this thread, at least he will know that I have the support of everyone here and he will see for himself how important Islam is for us
)