experiences since reverting

[Tony]

Salaam. Im vry interested in experiences and perception changes for people who have reverted. Ever since I started praying correctly and trying to improve my conduct I have been subject to an odd feeling. I get an over whelming feeling that the world is smaller and somehow enclosed, that is to say, a covering round earth like being in a room, you sense the genaral size of it even when dark. It doesnt feel as big and open to elements, but fixed and inside something bigger. I dont think I have the words to describe what I mean, its a definate difference in perception though and feels very along the lines of realising a Creator and a purpose for everything. Just realised thru writting this that alot of my postings are to do with feelings after reverting, would be interested to know if Muslims always get this, or maybe others get other help or hightened abilities. All is from Allah, all praises are His

 

[AntiKarateKid]

Salaam. Im vry interested in experiences and perception changes for people who have reverted. Ever since I started praying correctly and trying to improve my conduct I have been subject to an odd feeling. I get an over whelming feeling that the world is smaller and somehow enclosed, that is to say, a covering round earth like being in a room, you sense the genaral size of it even when dark. It doesnt feel as big and open to elements, but fixed and inside something bigger. I dont think I have the words to describe what I mean, its a definate difference in perception though and feels very along the lines of realising a Creator and a purpose for everything. Just realised thru writting this that alot of my postings are to do with feelings after reverting, would be interested to know if Muslims always get this, or maybe others get other help or hightened abilities. All is from Allah, all praises are His

I am interested in this too. But what about people who were born into a Muslim family but were never religious? Thats sorta vaguely like reverting lol.

I used to listen to heavy metal, wear a leather jacket, hated the majority of the world and blamed it for my problems. I sued to get picked on alot and became very cynical and dreamed of revenge really often. I went to a Catholic junior high and was always felt heavily pressured to become Christian.

Slowly but surely I starting migrating towards the Straight Path. I started feeling my sense of spirit growing more and took up reading philosophy books during my free time. Soon I gathered enough courage to go into my father's closet and take out a copy of the Quran.

I always though that when people said they cried when they read it, that they were lying or exaggerating. But there I was. Finishing just Surah Fatiha and I already had tears.

Upon reflection, it was the greatest feeling you can imagine. The pillars of materialism and self interest fell around me and I was born again as a servant of God. I even deleted my heavy metal songs and replaced then with Quranic recitations.

Hope you didnt mind my little story bro! Salam.

 

[ghengis]

yep ... same me. changes in perception... visual metaphors that cant really be put into words...

it felt like i was actually using my mind fully for the first time...

using latent skills and talents...

i kinda visualized something similar... i was sitting on the moon and staring at the earth whilst simultaneosly i was on the earth praying.... whilst i could see society going around doing their everyday activities...

no big deal now... it was then it helped me... put the world, society, god, and me in perspective (ie made it feel small and emphasised the fact there was a creator etcetcetc)

i studied and found out that wat i was doing was taking third perpective.
it is an nlp term.... also called metaperpspective...

its a tool used to gain insight and etcetcetc ...its usefulll...

i read some sufi mysticm and some psychiatry books and found them quite similar... their goals were the same to achieve some type of self control and then guideing the mind-body-soul complex towards greateer spirituality.... all starts with understanding the self and self control first.

tony... dunno how long u been convereted bro.... but i recomend reading some nlp so u can take control an guide and investigate these "insights" when they come...

keep a journal... i have one full of metaphors and realizations.... trust me u will forget after a few weeks ....


anyway.... i cant send private messages yet cos i aint got 50 posts...

any more questions you have let me know bro... always happy to help.

quote me on this: "the spiritual warrior needs tools in his toolkit...one of those is nlp. "

 

[Tony]

Wow, cant say I knew what to expect but this is amazing, both your stories and advice greatly received. You know it just strengthens my faith so much to have confirmation of something that I was not sure whether to post or not. Will definatley check out nlp Ghengis. I hope others wil contribute to this thread its so interesting. Peace

 

[Woodrow]

I only reverted 3 years ago. I definitely am not the same person I was before.

My perceptions and emotions and feelings have changed, for the better. I was a very cold calculating person and some what of a red neck with many prejudices.

 

[julie sarri]

after many years of suffering threw depression even tried to end my own life going threw self harm back then i felt there was no need for a person like me i had no real reason to be here but then i found Islam and after 4 years i totally changed i became a better person i feel there is a need for me to be here and that's to pray and worship and to encourage others to as well and also to support my husband and his deen

 

[Tony]

after many years of suffering threw depression even tried to end my own life going threw self harm back then i felt there was no need for a person like me i had no real reason to be here but then i found Islam and after 4 years i totally changed i became a better person i feel there is a need for me to be here and that's to pray and worship and to encourage others to as well and also to support my husband and his deen

SubhanAllah The Healer. excellent testimony, Allah guide you sister

 

[Tony]

Just remebered that shortly after I reverted and felt a bit lost, I walked into a charity shop and looked on bookshelf, right in the middle a book was sticking out about two inches from the rest as though it had been pulled out and left. When I looked it was called Islam in Focus. It still really helps me even now 5 yrs later. I have to go to charity shop once twice a fortnight (wife drags me round!) and have never at any other time ever found any books on Islam. Concrete guidance, Peace,

 

[ghengis]

"concrete guidance"

lol...yeah....

i was in uni living with 2 dental students... they wanted their mate to move in and me out...

i was just getting into the quran stuff back then...the praying etc... in secret... no one new about it. it was a pretty tough time for me...

i had already been staying their a year though so if i wanted to stay on it was my choice....
the lady i was staying with kicked up a feminine hullabaloo about men and how unclean we are

(yeah rite!! )

it was decided at about 3pm i was gonna leave if i didnt start cleaning communal areas or if i didnt pay for a cleaner....

i couldnt be arsed to look for a new place to live... it was a sweet location... near tower bridge... stones throw from uni....

i was annoyed.

so i walked outside at 5pmish to vent it out with an old mate... and this lady came up to me and asked me if i need a cleaner....


hahaha


quality.

woooooooooo!!!!! yeah baby!!!!!!! Praise the lord!!!!! yeeeeeaaahhh haaaa!!!

 

[Khalil_Allah]

i loves me some reverts!

I like your stories brothers and sisters.

When I first reverted, I was so busy and so embarrassed to pray or for people to know that I was praying, that I would just do all my prayers late at night. I got fed up with this and everything felt wrong. I felt so horrible and thought OMG what have I done? I believe in everything but I can't do it! The following year or so was the most confusing and depressing time of my life AFTER I REVERTED! I didn't fit in with Muslims because I had this idea that all these Muslims were perfectly good people, and I just didn't measure up. And I didn't fit in with the kufar because... well if you're muslim then you understand.

You just don't see the world the same anymore, like you said. That moment when you're like omg I'm a muslim... that is when it will never be the same again. Fortunately for most of us reverts, our faith in ALlah swt is soooooo strong and doesn't waver. Regardless of how much we are practicing or not practicing. We came from these crazy confusing lives and then we just said screw that, I need God! We turned to God and we learned about Islam, and never will we be able to believe anything otherwise. I mean, can you imagine yourself becoming a jew or something? I've tried to go through all these different religions and nothing comes to fit with my perceived reality like Islam.

How do I describe? Methinks its like trying to fit the square peg in the round hole. You're just trying and trying to figure it out, but it won't go. So you just hammer until the thing gets stuffed in there. But it doesn't make sense. You keep trying to figure it out until somehow you just find that round peg sitting beside you. That's Islam and Allah swt put it there! SUBHANALLAH!

The feelings are incredible. You'll keep going through all these trials and tribulations when you're like ALLAH why do You do this to me????????????!!!!! And then when you are just about to break down, you cannot help but go make wudu and beg Allah to help you. And then, because you've demonstrated your faith, ALlah blesses you. Noor and eman. And you are familiar with the bounties of the God of all things. There is nothing like it.... save jannah inshaAllah.

Sometime if you are wise, you forget about the pains and the pleasures of the world. You don't have emotional responses to things except for good feelings when you do things or see others doing things for the sake of Allah, and relative sadness when you see all those who are chasing their pleasures throughout dunya. That's not the whole of it, but you are a brother, and you understand what I am talking about. The world couldn't satisfy you and you rightfully turned to Allah swt.

Now be with your family and serve your Master. Me first, of course.

 

[Tony]

Yes I know that one, I tried to find something substantial in religions, drugs, women.etc, etc. When I came to Allah and accepted his oneness everything made sense, not in a "this is right thing to say" sense, but in a revalatory, no nonsense way. I will never forget the feeling of everything suddenly being explainable and at the same time completley fullfilling. I have good times and bad times, sometimes steadfast and sometimes wavering, but even when doubts start to wriggle in the depths I think of Allah, Muhhamad(pbuh) and the Quran and evrything is right. Once you embrace Islam there really is no way you can deny Allahs right to be worshipped, however people try I dont think there is any way back from beleif in our Creator. The Most Forgiving, Allahu Akbar

 

[Tony]

:bump1:

 

[ghengis]

ok so we're reverts cool.

good one.


we're protected by allah and all our desires will be fulfilled. great. nice. thanks.
u only reap wat u sow however...so there are 2 sides to the sword that we need to fulfill.... faith and action.

i went through many months contemplating this thought:

"i am a revert, i am going to heaven (inshallah) so wat shall i now do in my life; i can sit on my ass and be patient. i can pray all day, i canjust sit by a tree (metaphorically) and wait...

or i can do something with my decades of life that i have left that will only bring me closer to allah....but what are these things?? prayer...charity etcetcetc....??? and how can i do them properly??? effectively?? to ensure me the highest heights of heavan??? inshallah."

choice is an easy one... its number 2... do some action.

but it took me ages to find the motivation. the alignment to do daily worldy tasks etc.... i still havent got it.... getting there though....

like the people who went to the moon. when they came back to earth they suffered lack of motivation, lethargy and lack of vitality with life....


so i reverted..and 2-3 yrs later i had that phase i was talking about... a "state crash".... a "wat the hell do i do now? " moment



anyone been thru this phase???? and wat choices did u make ?? and did u make any other choices first before u went deeper into the qu'ran??


going deeper is the only real option... or is it???


and wat have u finally decided to do with yourselves??? how r u gonna live your lives???

as a revert my goals are pretty sky high.... is it the same for u lot out there??

 

[Khalil_Allah]

OMg this is wonderful conversation, alhamdulillah, and I hope that you brothers are subscribed to this thread.

Listen, Ghengis! I know what you mean man. In fact, I am living it every day!

Look at faith v. acts. You are like omg my faith is outta control, but I will never be able to improve myself to the point that I could be at. There will always be more omgomgomogmogmogmogmogmogmg I am ultimate failure, maybe Allah is not happy with me?

Now if you followed that, then you know exactly what I'm talking about, and we can continue. But I warn you, this is a topic which people have ALWAYS struggled with. Look at "St." Augustine (lol whatever!). "God grant me chastity," he says, "but not yet."

It's like listen, "I know You are there, Allah, but I just can't seem to get my act together!"

So here's what I say to this: if we know the right path, and we try, but continuously fail, then what is the point except to suffer in ultimate failure? Right? I mean, we can't seem to pull it off, but we, as reverts, know more than anyone the significance of following the rules of Allah. Doesn't that make us worse than the rest?

No man, it can't.

You have two things going on here, as was rightly pointed out: 1) faith, 2) works. For reverts, 1) is not a problem. However, we lived 20, 30, however many years of believing in whatever else that made us feel like sinning was OK! Our tendency is to think "Gee, now that I really KNOW this is bad, Allah must be really angry with me for still doing it."

Well, He certainly isn't smiling about it all, but you're not a frickin' saint. The likelihood that when you convert, you all of a sudden turn from Dave Chappelle to Salahadeen, is ridiculously low. Don't count on it. But you strive, and that is what Allah has said is important.

You strive in the path of Allah with all of your means. You come up short, and you ask forgiveness and move on. Maybe you come up short 1,000,000 times before you ask forgiveness. But when you ask forgiveness... that is what it is all about. And the angels and everyone sees the WORK of your FAITH.

And I must insert that I believe coming to Allah in this manner is far more meaningful than making 5 prayers every day with a dull and bored mind simply because it is habit.

Allah's mercy exceeds His wrath.

Love Him and come to Him, and inshaAllah, we're all alright.

 

[Yanal]

Sorry for interupting the peace between this thread but I think we have a revert story thread by the admins I think khuldan direct me if I am wrong.

 

[ghengis]

.....

khalil... good stuff.

my aims after reverting were to make a million and get myself a harem. lol
write a classic or too and blah blah blah my way to social dominance and power and glory lol

blah blah..... yeah whatever....

hey if i'm meant to be a "paragon for the righteous" then i might as well set a good example.....

being spiritually inclined also of course.... who says you cant have it all?

allah provides all things... full devotion etcetcetce....

i sat on a rock over a river and thought.....

money.. why?? ultimTELY MAKE ME SECURE AND HAPPIER
women... why?? urgggghh basic need??fulfilled making me happier
social power////why??? making me happier
etcetcetc

the end result is always a shift in your inner dial of happiness/contentedness.

a lot of religious references state the poor and meek will go to heaven... the rich and wealthy go to hell.... paradise is covered by hardship..


etcetcetc all true.... contentedness stops u striving etcetec.. hardship will get your ass moving big time.

didnt quite make sense though..... something doesnt fit.

here is a quote "the spiritual people who have a stronger faith are more incorruptible than the rest by desire, lust and therefore potential sin."

so ....... i studied happiness. my ultimate end goal...

look up some positive psycology.... its good for the 20-30-40-50 yrs we have left....

there are many ways to be spiritual......


the meek who is oppressed......and prays
the one who has bounty and is grateful..... and prays
the one who is in the face of sin//..... and prays

its a journey..

u may start out as the meek and oppressed.... but change exaltaion.... soon u have to aim to be the

"the one whome allah has thrown abundant blessings and bounty on, i am grateful, i bow down with joy dear lord"


keep the mindstate in mind.....


piety lies in the remembrance,.....