Assalaamu alaikum WaRahmatullahi WaBarakattu!
I want you to know that I suffered from same issue, and now by Allah's mercy I am doing a lot better.
I really hope that you read this in its entirety and try your utter best to understand it.
Once again, PLEASE READ EVERYTHING!
My dearest sister, Allah (azwajal) test his beloved slaves. He has said that he'll either make his slave face hardship in this life, or in the next one.
Before I begin giving my explanation, I want you to believe that the advent of Dajjal is very close. And it will be the hardest of all trials since the birth of Adam (as) as it's stated in the Saheeh hadiths.
The trials of grave is also very similar to the fitnah of Dajjal (stated by Muhammad SAW) - in a hadith.
Allah (may he be exalted) is preparing you for the future, for the grave, for hereafter, for something that EVERYONE WILL EXPERIENCE. We think of Dajjal as a common man claiming to be a prophet and then later a God (Nawouzobillah!), but it will be a lot more harder than that, just like Muhammad SAW stated, THE HARDEST TRIAL EVER (SINCE THE BIRTH OF ADAM AS). He advised us to run away from him because believers will be tricked by him, his title Dajjal means the one who tricks, or deceives.
Your waswas is certainly Shaittan's tricking, making you suffer. And know that not a single particle moves (does good or harm) without Allah's leave. If Shaittan can make you suffer to this extent, then realize that Allah (May he be exalted) has authorized that, and he is ArRahmaan and ArRaheem! He is testing you; he is making you stronger. Modern Muslims barely pray, and the ones that do, they barely know the 4-Quls, the ones that do know all barely understand its meaning.
Let's start with Surah Al-Ikhlaas:
بِسمِ اللَّهِ الرَّحمٰنِ الرَّحيمِ
1. قُلْ هُوَ ٱللَّهُ أَحَدٌ
2. ٱللَّهُ ٱلصَّمَدُ
3. لَمْ يَلِدْ وَلَمْ يُولَدْ
4. وَلَمْ يَكُن لَّهُۥ كُفُوًا أَحَدٌۢ
- Say: He is Allah, the One and Only;
- Allah, the Eternal, Absolute;
- He begetteth not, nor is He begotten;
- And there is none like unto Him.
Meaning, that Allah (the creator of creation, the lord of everything that exists whether we know it, can imagine it, or not) is ONE. He is eternal and absolute, meaning he is eternal (someone that has existed and will always exist), we humans are created/programmed to be bound by time, our brains cannot fully grasp the eternal attribute or any attribute of Allah. When we think of something, we think about its origin (beginning), and it's ultimate future (end). Know that Allah didn't appear out of nowhere or was created (Nawouzobillah!) somewhere in the past. The idea of past and future is for creation, for our feeble minds. Next, neither he gives birth (Nawouzobillah!); means nothing is copied or created from him. We humans trace our root to Adam (as) and Bibi Hawa (May Allah have mercy on both). We were copied from one another, thanks to food that nourished our mothers, and developed us (made us bigger) than the fertilized egg once we were. So Allah (SubhanWaTalla) does not have anything copied from him, he is not a body you could touch or sense, he does not have organs, you cannot copy from him. So Allah is neither born, nor anything can be born from him. He is above that! Then Allah states in Qur'an through our Messenger (May Allah bless him and his family) that there is none like unto him. This is his message for Adam and his children (humans; us) that there is literally nothing in the Earth, in the Universe, in our Minds that could come close to him. You cannot see him, you cannot touch him, you cannot smell him, you cannot taste him, and you cannot hear him. In movies and fairy tales we often hear an angelic or authoritative voice be used to portray God speaking (Nawouzobillah!), but this is just weak-minded idea from Kuffaar. Allah is far above that!
My dear sister, the fitnah of Dajjal and the fitnah of grave(wherein you'll be asked about Allah or God) is very hard, they'll "shake our imaan to our core" which means we'll literally question everything we've ever known and start having doubts such as: Am I doing this right? Is this the right religion? Does Allah exist (Nawouzobillah!)? Is religion just a man-made ideology? These questions, accompanied by miracles and fitnah will shake our faiths to our core and only a true believers will pass it.
The solution to this, or at least to my Waswas was reading Quran (WITH TRANSLATION). I cannot stress this enough that reading Qu'ran or even memorizing it without translation means nothing (Nawouzobillah!). It's like saying Abracadabra!
Allah did not reveal ONE HUNDRED AND FOURTEEN SURAHS exclusively for Prophet Muhammad, for Sahabas, or for Mullahs! It's for all mankind. For you, me, your family, your neighbor, your co-workers, the homeless guy in your area, for Donald Trump, for everyone. Because he is ArRahmaan, ArRaheem. This Qur'an contains guidance, scientific facts, and information that no illiterate man could've known aside from the creator himself.
Please THOROUGHLY open the links below and read its contents (IF YOU SKIP IT, THEN YOU'LL VERY LIKELY WON'T BE HELPED MUCH WITH YOU WASWAS):
https://www.-----------------------/scientific_39.html
https://www.-----------------------/mathematical_16.html
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LoZm7Mm54vM
My dearest sister, you may ask yourself why me ya Allah? Why not the Muslims who barely pray, do haraam things but still have their faith? Why me when I've suffered so much, and I am relatively more honest to you? What did I do to deserve having my Imaan and my entire belief shaking to its core?
It's from his Rahmat my sister, he is not punishing the westernized Muslims because they'll have something extremely hard waiting for them in their graves. Allah is telling you that its time to read the Quran, with its translation. Allah is telling you that ya Ebaadi I have bestowed my mercy upon you, I want you to go to Jannah, I want you to be at peace in your grave, but you cannot do that without reading the 114 surah, and understanding its meaning. He cannot be merciful by you saying I have faith, but your faith is not based on anything substantial. How can we call ourselves Muslims when Allah from his mercy has given us Quran in our homes, in our cellphones, in the internet with extensive translation and tafseer in any language you could imagine? He has pretty much given us our protection for us to be able to carry anywhere, anytime, with abundance of food, entertainment, water (cold and hot), air conditioning, and other commodities. How can we call ourselves Muslims when we don't even want to understand the meaning (translation) of our prayer? (i.e. Surah Al Fatiha, tashahud, etc.)
My dearest sister, May Rab-Al'Ollamein shower you with his mercy, heal you, and guide you to read Qu'ran and hadith with its translation immediately. Once your faith is renewed and strengthened, you can easily smile and laugh at Shaitton and these Waswas.
AssalamuAlaikum!
