FAQs compilation about marriage

[*charisma*]

DEAR MODS: Please don't move this thread. The reason it's in the advice & support section is to give members an opportunity to reply anonymously if they wanted.

Assalamu Alaikum/Greetings

I wanted to compile a list of FAQ's about marriage and write something that will help our youth and newly married couples understand the expectations of marriage, how to prepare for a good marriage, how to choose a compatible spouse, communicating before marriage/premarital relationships, intercourse, infidelity, divorce...etc, Basically all guidelines concerning marriage and dealing with the opposite sex (or even maybe what to do if someone's not heterosexual). I do not mind at all if nonMuslims also participate!

My 1st questions are: If you're married, what are some questions that you get commonly asked by those who are unmarried or planning to be wed and how do you address them? Or what did you expect before you were married and did your thoughts change? Any experiences or anything you want to address regarding divorce?

My 2nd question is: If you're not married, what kinds of questions do you always wonder about concerning marriage?

My 3rd question is: If you've been a part of this forum over the years, what do you see as a common recurring question regarding marriage?

I would do all of this by myself, but I think it would be much more beneficial inshallah reviewing experiences and opinions of others inshallah.

 

[*charisma*]

Anyone???

 

[ardianto]

What was my expectation of a marriage life was simple, a harmonious life between me and my wife, and live happily with my family. Of course in reality, life is not as easy as this. There's always disagreements, quarel, or problems in the family. But I'm not shocked because I've learned a lot about marriage life, long before I started to thinking about marriage. Precisely, since I was a little kid.

When I was a little kid I asked my mommy "Mom, why daddy always goes to the office?", and my mom answer "Daddy is working to make money for us. So we can eat, have clothes" and my mommy added it with "In the future after you become a daddy, you should work to make money too".

This was the first lesson about marriage life that I've learned. Then I began to be taught about what is family?, what is the role of father, the role of mother. Later, the lesson advanced to, how is marriage started, how is marriage work, what are the problems that can occur in marriage, how to maintain harmony in marriage, etc. I got many beneficial lesson from older people around me, not only from my family but also from my friend's parents, uncle/aunties, grandmas.

Yes, I already had a 'clear picture' of marriage life before I entered the gate of marriage. And Alhamdulillah, I married a woman who had learned many things about marriage life too. So, it made us easier to start marriage life and maintain a harmony.