babamaryam
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Asc, hope all is well. I am going through an emotional and mental rollercoaster.
Hear my story:
I was married in Feb 2019 to a beautiful girl. It was a semi arranged marriage as my father introduced us and after talking for several months we both decided to go ahead and get married. Alhamdullilah we were blessed with a baby boy right away and got pregnant again right away. This is where our cultural differences started to show.The family is from a rural area in Africa and I am an dual American citizen. During her delivery the doctor actually two doctors told us that it will be a csection -- long story short her mother said No to C-section. after some 40+ hours of labour My father stepped in essentially saving her life but we lost the girl.
I decided to come back to America and work as my savings have been depleted. Even though she was against it but it only made sense financially and health wise.
When I come to America, I started hustling and busting my a** of to make sure she and my son were living a well off life. Her older sister, who in my personal opinion is the reason behind the failed marriage decided to take advantage of her. Whenever I would send her money that I intended for a month, the money would be spent and my wife would call me nagging me. I could not handle the heat essentially because I felt as though as I work & work and send money the more money I sent the more they were asking and using my wife to come nag me.
In the heat of the moment I said, Her name and said I divorce you with one talaq. Then few months went by. a gentlemen who is has way more money than me and is married to her first cousin, needed some documentations. I specifically asked of her to keep those documentations because of the process I'm in the middle of. When I felt as though she would not listen, I said if you give away those documents without my permission it is as if though you taken your dalaqs. Not only did she give them away, but the gentlemen came to my house to take it. few weeks went by. Nagging and nagging again I got to the point where I was so angry that I said I divorced you.
My father stepped in, could not solve the divorce issue. Went to a muslim scholar and he said after looking at it said you have 2 left. She did not agree and wanted to dissolve the marriage. Her mother, who is not the best mother in law was adminant on securing her mehr and because I am from America than I should pay $10k if I want to keep my family. Her sister as you can imagine was pushing her and beating drums for her saying you are a pretty girl who can marry any man now and if you want to go to America, you can do so when your son grows up and just marry another man. Mind you this is while she is still married to me.
I decided maybe if I go, I can save my marriage. Her father came. Said I want to hear 2talaqs. My father said you can have em and had me say em.
Now I want my family, because we have a son together and I want to be apart of his life growing up. How do I move on? How can I get her back? I spend the whole day thinking about her. I came back to America and I don't have the same drive as I did before. Im a mental and emotional wreck. Im so indecisive. her mom and her sister are counting all three talaqs. Her father said we have one left. I need help. I need closure.
Hear my story:
I was married in Feb 2019 to a beautiful girl. It was a semi arranged marriage as my father introduced us and after talking for several months we both decided to go ahead and get married. Alhamdullilah we were blessed with a baby boy right away and got pregnant again right away. This is where our cultural differences started to show.The family is from a rural area in Africa and I am an dual American citizen. During her delivery the doctor actually two doctors told us that it will be a csection -- long story short her mother said No to C-section. after some 40+ hours of labour My father stepped in essentially saving her life but we lost the girl.
I decided to come back to America and work as my savings have been depleted. Even though she was against it but it only made sense financially and health wise.
When I come to America, I started hustling and busting my a** of to make sure she and my son were living a well off life. Her older sister, who in my personal opinion is the reason behind the failed marriage decided to take advantage of her. Whenever I would send her money that I intended for a month, the money would be spent and my wife would call me nagging me. I could not handle the heat essentially because I felt as though as I work & work and send money the more money I sent the more they were asking and using my wife to come nag me.
In the heat of the moment I said, Her name and said I divorce you with one talaq. Then few months went by. a gentlemen who is has way more money than me and is married to her first cousin, needed some documentations. I specifically asked of her to keep those documentations because of the process I'm in the middle of. When I felt as though she would not listen, I said if you give away those documents without my permission it is as if though you taken your dalaqs. Not only did she give them away, but the gentlemen came to my house to take it. few weeks went by. Nagging and nagging again I got to the point where I was so angry that I said I divorced you.
My father stepped in, could not solve the divorce issue. Went to a muslim scholar and he said after looking at it said you have 2 left. She did not agree and wanted to dissolve the marriage. Her mother, who is not the best mother in law was adminant on securing her mehr and because I am from America than I should pay $10k if I want to keep my family. Her sister as you can imagine was pushing her and beating drums for her saying you are a pretty girl who can marry any man now and if you want to go to America, you can do so when your son grows up and just marry another man. Mind you this is while she is still married to me.
I decided maybe if I go, I can save my marriage. Her father came. Said I want to hear 2talaqs. My father said you can have em and had me say em.
Now I want my family, because we have a son together and I want to be apart of his life growing up. How do I move on? How can I get her back? I spend the whole day thinking about her. I came back to America and I don't have the same drive as I did before. Im a mental and emotional wreck. Im so indecisive. her mom and her sister are counting all three talaqs. Her father said we have one left. I need help. I need closure.
