Favorite Quote

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1. I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn't looking good, either.

2. I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.

3. I'd explain it to you, but your brain would explode.

4. Someday we'll look back on all this and plow into a parked car.

5. There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved by a suitable application of high explosives.

6. Tell me what you need and I'll tell you how to get along without it.

7. Accept that some days you're the pigeon and some days you're the statue.

8. Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If he isn't there the first time you need him, chances are you won't be needing him again.

9. I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.

10. Last night, I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and thought to myself, "Where the heck is the ceiling?"

11. My Reality Check bounced.

12. On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the Escape key.

13. I don't suffer from stress. I'm a carrier.

14. You're slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter.

15. Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons because, to them, you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.

16. Everybody is somebody else's weirdo.

17. Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level.
:)

 
Fטлку;1266831 said:
1. I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn't looking good, either.

2. I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.

3. I'd explain it to you, but your brain would explode.

4. Someday we'll look back on all this and plow into a parked car.

5. There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved by a suitable application of high explosives.

6. Tell me what you need and I'll tell you how to get along without it.

7. Accept that some days you're the pigeon and some days you're the statue.

8. Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If he isn't there the first time you need him, chances are you won't be needing him again.

9. I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.

10. Last night, I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and thought to myself, "Where the heck is the ceiling?"

11. My Reality Check bounced.

12. On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the Escape key.

13. I don't suffer from stress. I'm a carrier.

14. You're slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter.

15. Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons because, to them, you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.

16. Everybody is somebody else's weirdo.

17. Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level.
:)
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those were so good i HAD to forward to my mom.... ohhhhh i was crying i laughed so hard.... im still giggling.
 
There are some random ones I had saved on my cell :hmm:
  • Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them so much
  • Why is it that you'll only know where the line is if you cross it?
  • Like fire, money is neither good nor evil. It's neutral- It's character determined by the eye of the perceiver, the hand of the user
  • A sharp tongue sometimes cuts it's own throat.
  • Go the extra mile. It's never crowded.
  • Be kind to your feet. They outnumber people one to two.
  • There are chapters in every life that are seldom read and certainly not aloud.
  • Writers build castles in the air, writers live in them, and the publishers collect the rent.
  • Is it true that nobody likes to hear a celebrity complain?
  • Never be afraid to laugh at yourself. Afterall, you could be missing out on the joke of the century!
  • No such thing as an attention span, people have infinite attention if you are entertaining them.
  • Intelligent people simplify the complex and fool complicate the simple.
  • Every exit is an entry somewhere.
  • The minute you settle for less than you deserve, you get even less than you settled for.
  • When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
  • If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
  • Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
  • Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need more.(Friend or Money !)
  • Never argue with a fool. People might not know the difference.
  • When you're right, no one remembers. When you're wrong, no one forgets.
  • Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when nobody is looking.
  • They say hard work never hurts anybody, but why take the chance.
  • Where there's a will, there are five hundred relatives.
  • If you can't see the bright side of life, polish the dull side.
  • Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.
  • Mothers of teens know why some animals eat their young.
  • Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said.
  • Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.
  • Insanity is hereditary. You get it from your kids.
 
I'm going to commit suicide or die trying!
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When Osama bin Laden first met his wife, there was chemistry between them. Turns out it was a fertiliser bomb.
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'Am I allowed to say your Queen sucks?'
'You can say that, we shall then behead you.'
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I don't like to think of there being winners and losers in Big Brother. To me, they're all losers.
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We English aren't very good at foreign languages, until we go abroad, where English is a foreign language.
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I was wondering what seperates us from animals, and then I remembered- fences.
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Lololoilollolol
 
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Frideric Schiller -
"What's majority? Majority is stupidity,
The mind was always in minority,

(...)

But the votes we must weight, not count,
The state where majority and stupidity reigns,
Sooner or later must fall".
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Rivarol -

"How many idiots are needed to have a public opinion?"
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Erik von Kuhnelt-Leddihn

"Really progressive is the air war,
During it, the bombs fall without difference - no priveliges - on children, women and edlers. That's so egalitarian, thats so modern."
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Lol i got 1, many people may recognise me by it tho... so here it is!

"Indeed For You Shall Suceed!" lol thats my own made up 1 btw ..hope thats geeky enuff to be accepted on this post : \
 
Fטлку;1266858 said:
  • Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them so much
  • The minute you settle for less than you deserve, you get even less than you settled for.
  • When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
  • Never argue with a fool. People might not know the difference.
  • When you're right, no one remembers. When you're wrong, no one forgets.
  • Where there's a will, there are five hundred relatives.
  • If you can't see the bright side of life, polish the dull side.
  • Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.
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:sl:

Oh sis Funky, I really like these! The ones in your other posts also made me laugh soo much. :D
I love these ones from your last post. Thanks so much for sharing :)

:sl:
 
All mankind is from Adam and Eve, an Arab has no superiority over a non-Arab nor a non-Arab has any superiority over an Arab; also a white has no superiority over black nor a black has any superiority over white except by piety and good action


OH Allah, when i lose hope because my plans have come to nothing... Then help me remember that Your love is always greater than my disappointments and Your plans for my life are always better than my dreams


Remember that you will indeed meet your Lord, and that He will indeed reckon your deeds.
 
alsalam alikom..
"the journy for the 100 miles ,start by one step forward"
i work alot on this every time i thinking of giveup.
 
Yea, when (the soul) reaches to the collar-bone (in its exit)

And there will be a cry, "Who is a magician (to restore him)?"

And he will conclude that it was (the Time) of Parting

And one leg will be joined with another

That Day the Drive will be (all) to thy Lord!

quran surah AL-QIYAMA - that passage sends shivers down my spine
 
Selam aleykum
One of my favourite quotes:
"It would be perfectly possible to be a complete and absolute Rationalist in the true sense of the term and yet accept this or that dogma. The question is how to arrive at your opinions and not what your opinions are. The thing in which we believe is the supremacy of reason. If reason should lead you to orthodox conclusions, well and good; you are still a Rationalist."
Bertrand Russell; "Am I an atheist or an agnostic?"
 
Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth.

One should always play fairly when one has the winning cards.
 
How can a society that exists on instant mashed potatoes, packaged cake mixes, frozen dinners, and instant cameras teach patience to its young? [Paul Sweeney]
 
Not my favourite quote, but I like it:

Tobacco surely was designed
To poison and destroy mankind

Philip Freneau (1752-1832) US Poet
 

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