feel ugly

[abdunnur]

Only we can get -without money- is " poor advice".
People ( including muslims) one speak, other think, another do.
I had abandon muslims jammat when i sow they have nice words, advices, but nobody to help.
You are male or female, ask to bi in marriage with you somebody of -senders encouraging words! In this time, there is no bigger truth of thruth when muslims use truth in service of lie.
I can tell you next:
I dont know how you look, if i know i will be able to tell you better...
genneraly...some beautifull person never meet happiness, some ugly persons meet happyness. All of us are enough beauty for right person if we find it.
Sometime, our feel make us ugly or beauty, ( secret of some movie acter was -always feel -you are the beautifful)
Love is strange things. Sometime is not important beauty, than faith, soul, behaviouring, spirit..
Pray to Allah to make you enough beauty for person of your life. When you meet person, mirror will sing to your face.
Dear Allah, make happy this person and send to him(her) who will find out she(he) is beauty! Amin .

 

[AnonymousPoster]

I need some help, i feel so ugly, i dont want to feel like this,
i hate it, it always kills me inside,

When i see someone attractive, i do lower my gaze, but the arrow hits my heart , and i feel envy towards that person, i feel so in adequate with my self.

I honestly don't know how i will get married, i know there are poor people out there who have nothing to eat , i do care , thats why i am angry with my self,


I cant control these thoughts, the only time i have of peace is when i am asleep

you feel ugly and I actually am ugly with burns and stitch marks all over and I'm still married since 1985 without problem

 

[Intisar]

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

Ferry ferry true bro. beauty is deffo in the eye of beholder. Perhaps you just may be want to live up to Western ideals of beauty? Well if that's the case then know that beauty in the West is all fake.

Every culture has a different ideal for what beautiful is to them. In some South-East Asian cultures very small feet is considered beautiful, in others long necks, pointy noses and very dark skin is considered a very beautiful trait and in others having very long hair is considered beautiful. You get my point.

I'm not saying you shouldn't take care of yourself cause in all honesty whoever tells you that they don't care about their looks is a liar. Take care of yourself but don't be excessive about it, excessiveness is not very encouraged in Islam.

And finally, always make du'a.

 

[BNDGR]

Asalam alaikum sister,
Like most of the other posters said beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
True beauty comes from your heart and shines from the inside out. Think about this that even if someone has beauty on the outside they might be hard and ugly inside and that will show through. Looks don't make a person complete or happy. Being a new muslim I have met alot of sisters that when I first met them were in full niqab and had face covered I only could see there eyes, but there beauty and strength in thier religion and hearts made them the most beautiful women I have known. MashAllah I wish to be like them, they were beautiful inside and out!
You might not see how others look at you and admire you.
You just have not met that special person to marry, but it will come, have patience and faith.
Take care and keep your head up and your faith strong you are beautiful!

 

[Zahida]

I agree with everyone that has replied to you........... especially good advice from all. Can i ask you why? Why do you feel this way. What is it about these other people who you see and feel jealous of? Evaluate yourself, seriously get a piece of paper and write down what you like and dislike about yourself. Concentrate more on the areas of like, and see that you can make it better. Then look at your dislikes about yourself, and make them better too. No-one can make you feel good about yourself unless you feel good about yourself first. I am sure that you have many qualities and that does not necessarily mean looks do you understand what i am trying to get at..............?:bump:

Abu Hurayra Radhiallahu Anhu said: "Do not say (to any man), 'May Allah make your face and any face like your face ugly.' Allah, the Mighty and Exalted, created Adam, peace be upon him, in his form* (that He ordained),"
​

*This means that the face of your father and all human beings is like the face of Adam, peace be upon him. So if you abuse anyone in this way you are actually abusing your ancestors which include Adam, peace be upon him. So when you abuse someone like this it means that you are abusing your forefathers.



-taken from Imam Bukhari's Adhab Al Mufrad

 

[Tanya Khan]

I need some help, i feel so ugly, i dont want to feel like this,
i hate it, it always kills me inside,

When i see someone attractive, i do lower my gaze, but the arrow hits my heart , and i feel envy towards that person, i feel so in adequate with my self.

I honestly dont know how i will get married, i know there are poor people out there who have nothing to eat , i do care , thats why i am angry with my self,


I cant control these thoughts, the only time i have of peace is when i am asleep

Tell me something, what makes you think you are ugly? Has someone ever made negative comments about you're looks or do you, yourself just think you are ugly? Be honest.

 

[Re.TiReD]

:salamext:

You can be the most beautiful of people, but have a nasty, ugly character.

You can be the ugliest of people and have the most beautiful character on earth, you could be the most humble of people and truly blessed by Allah (swt), in which case I wouldnt call you ugly...I'd call you beautiful.

We cant do much about the way we look, (unless you're loaded and can afford surgery - which I wouldnt recomment btw) ... but what we can do is be beautiful in spirit and character.

You're muslim, and you're truly blessed. Whether you feel it or not is a different matter.

 

[Tanya Khan]

^ Well said.

 

[AnonymousPoster]

I think it comes down to my self confidence, i wana be accepted by society i guess,

There are some girls out there that do them selves up and actually want the attention,, what does this tell me, it says that girl has very low self esteem.


Its like i want to be looked at by women, to make my self happy, and i actually try and see of any one is looking at me,. This has got to stop i know, i dont need people to make me happy,

Inshallah i will take it a day at a time, actually today i feel much better.
Im not getting married any time soon, so i think i shouldnt worry about how i look at the minute.


Inshallah, these negative thoughts will disapperar from my mind,


All these thoughts came in to my mind when i started practising 3 years ago,
when i started praying Allahamdullilah , the urge to get married woke up inside of me, it was like a switch went on inside of me,and i got broody aswell

I only human i must understand that, i need companionship like any one else


Jazakallah brotheres and sisters , Inshallah,


no more


and plenty of

 

[Ushae]

Feeling Ugly and Looking Ugly are two entirely different things.

In my honest opinon I would rather fall in love with an average looking woman with a great heart than a horrible woman with great looks.

Heart > Looks .. anyday!

There is DEFINATELY someone destined for you, never lose hope and don't envy. Whenever you look at someone who is so called 'good-looking' remember one thing, those types of girls will attract the wrong attention 90% of the time, and they usually are very self-centered people.

Ask yourself are you self-centered or humble ? What does Allah like more beauty or compassion ? You ARE beautiful, you just don't know it yet

 

[Woodrow]

No human is ugly. But some do have ugly thoughts and attitudes, that is the only ugly any human can be. We are creations of Allaah(swt) and we must all try to live up to our potential beauty. Control the mental aspects of our beauty and the external will fall into place.

On a personal note I am probably as plain/homely looking a man could possibly be. But, in my lifetime 3 wonderfull women saw someting of beauty in me and I was blessed by having had 3 wonderful wives. If any woman was able to find beauty in me, I have no doubt all people will be seen as beautiful to somebody.

Seek to build your inner beauty, it is the only beauty that lasts and the only beauty that matters. Physical attraction is of little importance, once you allow your inner truth to grow and show.

 

[Sahabiyaat]

outer beauty is insignificant if it is not matched with inner beauty


the only thing that can make you ugly really, is an ugly charachter simple as that, and since you started practising 3 years ago, i'd say if youve worked hard enough, you shud be pretty beautiful by now ( your charachter akhee :-[ which like i said beautifies you entirely as a person)

so chin up and smile, a smile lights up any face

 

[FatimaAsSideqah]

Therefore, it is obligatory for us to accept the creation of Allah as it is, not making any alterations to it. More importantly though, it is also obligatory for us to believe that all of Allah's creation is beautiful, because Allah, the Khaaliq (Creator) does not create anything except with beauty and perfection, which is why He says to mankind: You can see no fault in the creation of Ar-Rahmaan [the Most Merciful]. Then look again: Can you see any rifts? Then look - again and yet again, your sight will return to you in a state of humiliation and worn out. [Al-MuIk (67): 3-4].

In Islam, beauty is not just in the eye of the beholder. Beauty is in the whole of creation, because Allah - the One free of all imperfections - is the one responsible for it. And as Allah says: Your Lord creates whatsoever He wills and chooses: no choice have they. SubhaanAllah! And far removed is He from the partners they ascribe [to Him]! [Al-Qasas 28:68].

So it is from the wisdom of Allah that He has chosen to create some of us short, others tall, some fat, some thin, some dark-colored, some light - all are beautiful and perfect in their own right. That is why we are taught from the Sunnah, the beautiful du'aa (supplication) that the Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam would say: 'O Allah, as You have made my appearance beautiful, likewise make my character beautiful.

 

[Danah]

its not what people think of you.....dont care about them
its just what you think of yourself....be satisfied on your own looks that allah grant you with, and you will be the happiest in the world....its the sanctification nothing else
do you think that those how care about their looks to death and go to every beauty center, spending money to have great looks and be attracted to the others from the first look are happy
heck no
they dont live their life as it is, and keep thinking about how to be more attractive in the eyes of the others, worried, think day and night about what they can do in the future when they get old.....actually those to me are lacking the confidence, because they care about the others opinions more than caring about what they think of themselves

 

[Al-Zaara]

Beauty is skin deep; ugly is to the bone.

Reflect.

The kinds of beautiful people you are describing, will be beautiful on the outside as long as they are young and have time to fix themselves. A person who is beautiful in the inside will always have that beauty, until death.

This doesn't mean all beautiful people are ugly on the inside, haha, that's absurd and you shouldn't even think like that. But this is just so you accept to value the inner more, for it lasts longer and it does quite immensely affect how high and for how long we think of that person to be beautiful.

 

[Tanya Khan]

Some very heart warming answers on here.

I have to admit, I have a problem with self-esteem. I don't feel pretty so I end up wearing a lot of make-up to feel good inside.

 

[IbnAbdulHakim]

well feeling ugly can also be caused by being with the wrong crowd. I dont mean by being with people more beautiful then you, i mean by being with those who make you feel like you should do things to become more attractive thus implying your current state isnt good. Now if these suggestions are halaal such as grooming properly and staying clean/eating sunnah thus losing weight then mashaAllaah, if these suggestions are to attract and change our physique such as nail polish, tons of make up, plucking and other acts which just demean what Allahs blessed us with then astagfirullaah.

being with the right crowd can change our whole outlook on life


just a few thoughts inshaAllaah

 

[AnonymousPoster]

i know what you mean i hope things get betta ishaallah i felt like u for a long time and let me tel u sumeting sis make dua and try to look within urself why you feel this way and do something about it!
i never did, i had no1 to talk nobody could understand what i felt, i was accused of being vain and shallow and i had to think about those who are worse than me (trust me this does not help) neways now i am stuck with a
eating disorder, dont let the sheytan whispers take over it did with me but i dont want any woman to go through dis. xx

 

[AnonymousPoster]

Im 26 , the thing is i have worn a baeball cap, since i was 16,

so there are many people in my life , family, friends, even my own mum who even get to see my hair, now my forehead is so white. i have a cap line indented i to my forehead, i dislike my head shape, i have a sqaure forehead, and my hair grows down the middle of my head.


So the problem is my hair, i just wana look normal, and wish i never put that cap on ever, thats why im always staring at other guys hair styles and that and feel envy toward them, its just if i ever get my hat off, people will i know look at me weird, i dont want a fancy hairtyle, just to look normal, whatever that is. To be accepted by society i guess.

When i accidently get my cap off, and my nieces are there, i know their only kids, but they say things like you got ugly hair, but those words do hurt me.

so you see it is this fear inside of me, feeling rejected, but it come to the point now where i will always have to cover my hair, now i wear a topi any way , so this does not bother me,

its just things like , attending weddings , interviews, may be seeing a bride, that freak me out , mums always on my back to make a passport, but i dont wanna take my pics.


Brothers and sisters you are welcome to have a go at me, i deserve it for being so silly.

I made this thread because , i know feelings of jealousy, being ungrateul to Allah swt , are all wrong, and i wana be a grateful servant.

so its just like 5% of my body that causes me worry, people always say i have a good body, which i dislike,

Thank you again everyone for your replies,i wil re read all of them again, and change my attitude inshallah

 

[Ushae]

Some very heart warming answers on here.

I have to admit, I have a problem with self-esteem. I don't feel pretty so I end up wearing a lot of make-up to feel good inside.

There is nothing wrong with wearing make up to be very honest. I'm not exactly a pro when it comes to women (being a man and all lol :-[) but from my experience I've never really liked women that wear make up. People tend appreciate each other when they see their faces 'naturally' for what they are.

Next time you look in the mirror, just smile at yourself and feel good about it. Perhaps you'll realise make-up can never replace a proper smile