Feelin sad over a guy

[xa_xa_ft]

So ive been talking to this guy on the dating app
But nothing seems to be coming of it. I really want to marry him but he doesnt seem interested.

I dont knw whqt to do anymore im praying allah gives me him but if hes doesnt i dont knw i’ll be really down

 

[Eusra Fhaad inshaAllah]

Treat them the way the treat you .

Leave this jerk- only passing time

Pray istikhara & see for a week if anything changes,otherwise get rid of him..will only break you - Don't let him succeed!

 

[Murid]

It is not that easy to find a spouse on a dating app. Ypu almost do not know anything about him, or you do?

Does your family know him, what do they think about?

You can ask suitable man if he would like to marry you.

Do not write to much without clearly stating it is because of the getting knowing each other because of marriage.

 

[Imraan]

So ive been talking to this guy on the dating app
But nothing seems to be coming of it. I really want to marry him but he doesnt seem interested.

I dont knw whqt to do anymore im praying allah gives me him but if hes doesnt i dont knw i’ll be really down

dont prolong convo any longer than it needs to, if you like him see if its mutual, then get your wali / parents involved

dont beat around the bush, dont let him either...

waste of time, waste of yours , waste of his

serious people dont waste time, they're either committed or they aint. simple.

most of all you have to seriously consider the reality of it all the time. I know anything can happen etc. but how will it happen is a question i often ask myself and what are the chances of it all coming to fruition....

getting married is hard, very hard...
don't give up
don't give up your morals and discipline either.

Please remember me and my family in your prayers
Jazak Allah Khair

 

[*charisma*]

So ive been talking to this guy on the dating app
But nothing seems to be coming of it. I really want to marry him but he doesnt seem interested.

I dont knw whqt to do anymore im praying allah gives me him but if hes doesnt i dont knw i’ll be really down

Why are you sad over a guy that isn't into you? Isn't that the worst case scenario? to be married to someone who doesnt really like you?

Secondly if it's clear he's not into you nor interested, you should move on. You're setting up yourself for heartbreak and can't put any blame on anyone but yourself at that point.

 

[xa_xa_ft]

Treat them the way the treat you .

Leave this jerk- only passing time

Pray istikhara & see for a week if anything changes,otherwise get rid of him..will only break you - Don't let him succeed!

Isthikhara? How will praying this help?

 

[xa_xa_ft]

It is not that easy to find a spouse on a dating app. Ypu almost do not know anything about him, or you do?

Does your family know him, what do they think about?

You can ask suitable man if he would like to marry you.

Do not write to much without clearly stating it is because of the getting knowing each other because of marriage.

So im using these dating apps because i dont have anyone ie family memberr to help me find someone for marriage and so ive been speaking to him for 3 months and he doesnt talk a out getting serious.

 

[xa_xa_ft]

dont prolong convo any longer than it needs to, if you like him see if its mutual, then get your wali / parents involved

dont beat around the bush, dont let him either...

waste of time, waste of yours , waste of his

serious people dont waste time, they're either committed or they aint. simple.

most of all you have to seriously consider the reality of it all the time. I know anything can happen etc. but how will it happen is a question i often ask myself and what are the chances of it all coming to fruition....

getting married is hard, very hard...
don't give up
don't give up your morals and discipline either.

Please remember me and my family in your prayers
Jazak Allah Khair

This is the hardesnt bit... im genuinely trying to keep it all halal wnd do everything in my power to actually find someone for marriage but its not working out and i think whyyy am i in this situation

 

[xa_xa_ft]

Why are you sad over a guy that isn't into you? Isn't that the worst case scenario? to be married to someone who doesnt really like you?

Secondly if it's clear he's not into you nor interested, you should move on. You're setting up yourself for heartbreak and can't put any blame on anyone but yourself at that point.

Silly i know its because i really find him attractive ans want to marry him. Hes not into me enough to marry me and i just think maybe just maybe he might marry me if i hang in there lol

I sound stupid i know !!

 

[Hamza Asadullah]

So ive been talking to this guy on the dating app
But nothing seems to be coming of it. I really want to marry him but he doesnt seem interested.

I dont knw whqt to do anymore im praying allah gives me him but if hes doesnt i dont knw i’ll be really down

Asalaamu Alaikum,

My dear sister please do not lower yourself or your standards for anyone. I know your feeling that you are not getting anywhere with regards to finding a partner but that does not mean you should hold onto to someone who has little to no interest in marrying you. It is clear that he is still wanting to "look around" and see who else he can find or in his eyes "see if anything better comes along". That's the way many guys think. If he was truly interested in marrying you then he would not have hesitated like he is now.

My sister if he's not interested in you now then IF you do end up marrying him then believe me things will not get any better after marriage. So you are setting yourself up for disaster by continue to hold onto contact with him in hope that he may change his mind. In fact you risk marrying someone who may then go onto continue to "look around" and even cheat as is quite common nowadays unfortunately. Hence why you must let go of him and cut off all contact immediately.

Surely you are much better than this and worth so much more. Allah has given you so much honour as a woman so do not chase any man who has little to no interest in you. In fact people like that can use such a situation to their advantage by leading you on just to get what they want and then discard you. So my sister you must act now. You came here because you know this is not going to work but you needed some encouragement and strength to let go. Ask of Allah and open up to him about how weak you feel and for him to help you as you have no one else but him to turn towards. Allah listens and sees everything and he has already answered your Dua's hence why nothing is coming of this. So this person is not worth a second more of your time.

So you must cut off all contact with him immediately and put your total reliance and trust in Allah. Surely he is the match maker and he will find the one meant for you as long as you strive to go about looking for marriage in a way that pleases him. That means firstly to not go on these dating apps. You will never get anywhere with them but find people who are just looking for short term dates or to fulfil their selfish lowly desires. There are plenty of decent Muslim Marriage websites, especially those that require you to join with your Mahram as they tend to have a database of better quality of suitors. Whatever website or app you join then please do so through your Wali/Mahram. Do you have a brother, uncle etc whom can at least monitor your interactions with a potential suitor moving forward? This is for your own good and protection as there are many people out there with nefarious and selfish intentions and agendas.

This is the danger of going about it on your own as you can easily be misled, hurt and even scarred. Developing feelings for someone before marriage can make one blind to whether or not that person is right for us or not. So please do the right thing and put your full trust, faith, reliance and hope in Allah. If you let go of something for the sake of Allah then he will give you far better in return. For this is his promise and he never breaks his promises.

 

[xa_xa_ft]

Asalaamu Alaikum,

My dear sister please do not lower yourself or your standards for anyone. I know your feeling that you are not getting anywhere with regards to finding a partner but that does not mean you should hold onto to someone who has little to no interest in marrying you. It is clear that he is still wanting to "look around" and see who else he can find or in his eyes "see if anything better comes along". That's the way many guys think. If he was truly interested in marrying you then he would not have hesitated like he is now.

My sister if he's not interested in you now then IF you do end up marrying him then believe me things will not get any better after marriage. So you are setting yourself up for disaster by continue to hold onto contact with him in hope that he may change his mind. In fact you risk marrying someone who may then go onto continue to "look around" and even cheat as is quite common nowadays unfortunately. Hence why you must let go of him and cut off all contact immediately.

Surely you are much better than this and worth so much more. Allah has given you so much honour as a woman so do not chase any man who has little to no interest in you. In fact people like that can use such a situation to their advantage by leading you on just to get what they want and then discard you. So my sister you must act now. You came here because you know this is not going to work but you needed some encouragement and strength to let go. Ask of Allah and open up to him about how weak you feel and for him to help you as you have no one else but him to turn towards. Allah listens and sees everything and he has already answered your Dua's hence why nothing is coming of this. So this person is not worth a second more of your time.

So you must cut off all contact with him immediately and put your total reliance and trust in Allah. Surely he is the match maker and he will find the one meant for you as long as you strive to go about looking for marriage in a way that pleases him. That means firstly to not go on these dating apps. You will never get anywhere with them but find people who are just looking for short term dates or to fulfil their selfish lowly desires. There are plenty of decent Muslim Marriage websites, especially those that require you to join with your Mahram as they tend to have a database of better quality of suitors. Whatever website or app you join then please do so through your Wali/Mahram. Do you have a brother, uncle etc whom can at least monitor your interactions with a potential suitor moving forward? This is for your own good and protection as there are many people out there with nefarious and selfish intentions and agendas.

This is the danger of going about it on your own as you can easily be misled, hurt and even scarred. Developing feelings for someone before marriage can make one blind to whether or not that person is right for us or not. So please do the right thing and put your full trust, faith, reliance and hope in Allah. If you let go of something for the sake of Allah then he will give you far better in return. For this is his promise and he never breaks his promises.

Thanks hamza, your post makes me feel much better and has encouraged me to let go of him. He really doesnt care about my feelings just speaks to me whenever he pleases and ignores me whenever he wants. Im so sick and tired of searching that i thought i could maybe keep trying it with him in the hope he will marry me but what good will that be. He still wont treat me right after marriage. I think i should let go and leave it in the hands of Allah.

Thank you!!

 

[Eusra Fhaad inshaAllah]

Asalaamu Alaikum,

My dear sister please do not lower yourself or your standards for anyone. I know your feeling that you are not getting anywhere with regards to finding a partner but that does not mean you should hold onto to someone who has little to no interest in marrying you. It is clear that he is still wanting to "look around" and see who else he can find or in his eyes "see if anything better comes along". That's the way many guys think. If he was truly interested in marrying you then he would not have hesitated like he is now.

My sister if he's not interested in you now then IF you do end up marrying him then believe me things will not get any better after marriage. So you are setting yourself up for disaster by continue to hold onto contact with him in hope that he may change his mind. In fact you risk marrying someone who may then go onto continue to "look around" and even cheat as is quite common nowadays unfortunately. Hence why you must let go of him and cut off all contact immediately.

Surely you are much better than this and worth so much more. Allah has given you so much honour as a woman so do not chase any man who has little to no interest in you. In fact people like that can use such a situation to their advantage by leading you on just to get what they want and then discard you. So my sister you must act now. You came here because you know this is not going to work but you needed some encouragement and strength to let go. Ask of Allah and open up to him about how weak you feel and for him to help you as you have no one else but him to turn towards. Allah listens and sees everything and he has already answered your Dua's hence why nothing is coming of this. So this person is not worth a second more of your time.

So you must cut off all contact with him immediately and put your total reliance and trust in Allah. Surely he is the match maker and he will find the one meant for you as long as you strive to go about looking for marriage in a way that pleases him. That means firstly to not go on these dating apps. You will never get anywhere with them but find people who are just looking for short term dates or to fulfil their selfish lowly desires. There are plenty of decent Muslim Marriage websites, especially those that require you to join with your Mahram as they tend to have a database of better quality of suitors. Whatever website or app you join then please do so through your Wali/Mahram. Do you have a brother, uncle etc whom can at least monitor your interactions with a potential suitor moving forward? This is for your own good and protection as there are many people out there with nefarious and selfish intentions and agendas.

This is the danger of going about it on your own as you can easily be misled, hurt and even scarred. Developing feelings for someone before marriage can make one blind to whether or not that person is right for us or not. So please do the right thing and put your full trust, faith, reliance and hope in Allah. If you let go of something for the sake of Allah then he will give you far better in return. For this is his promise and he never breaks his promises.

JazakAllah hu khayr

You have actually gifted us with very valuable advice!

Respect & best wishes!

 

[Hamza Asadullah]

I came across the following which I thought was very relevant to this thread:

You can never convince a man to love you.

Find a man who answers when you call and texts back within minutes rather than days.

Find a man that gives you clear cut answers and doesn’t leave you wondering where you stand.

Find a man that wants to make you a part of his life rather than a chapter in his book.

Find a man who doesn’t take years to figure out what he wants from you.

Find a man who respects, celebrates and encourages your individuality, your education, your spirituality, and your growth.

Remember It is never too much asking a man to be considered a priority.

Find a man who is genuinely interested in you and pursues you on a daily basis.

Find a man who asks you to go pray with him.

Find a man that never let's you go to sleep at night wondering if you still matter.

Watch how a man treats his mother.
You will learn alot from how someone treats the person that brought him into this world.

Never chase a man because of his looks because one day those looks will eventually fade and what you're left with is what's inside so don't be consumed by his physical traits.

Find a man who protects you and stands up for u even when you're not around.

Find a man who values you and will never put himself in a position to lose you.

Find a man who wakes up everyday looking for new ways to love you.

Find a man that understands it's not about giving you the world but making you feel like you're the only one in it.

Take my advice and remember your time is precious. Don't waste it on someone who doesn't know you exist.

 

[Imraan]

I came across the following which I thought was very relevant to this thread:

You can never convince a man to love you.

Find a man who answers when you call and texts back within minutes rather than days.

Find a man that gives you clear cut answers and doesn’t leave you wondering where you stand.

Find a man that wants to make you a part of his life rather than a chapter in his book.

Find a man who doesn’t take years to figure out what he wants from you.

Find a man who respects, celebrates and encourages your individuality, your education, your spirituality, and your growth.

Remember It is never too much asking a man to be considered a priority.

Find a man who is genuinely interested in you and pursues you on a daily basis.

Find a man who asks you to go pray with him.

Find a man that never let's you go to sleep at night wondering if you still matter.

Watch how a man treats his mother.
You will learn alot from how someone treats the person that brought him into this world.

Never chase a man because of his looks because one day those looks will eventually fade and what you're left with is what's inside so don't be consumed by his physical traits.

Find a man who protects you and stands up for u even when you're not around.

Find a man who values you and will never put himself in a position to lose you.

Find a man who wakes up everyday looking for new ways to love you.

Find a man that understands it's not about giving you the world but making you feel like you're the only one in it.

Take my advice and remember your time is precious. Don't waste it on someone who doesn't know you exist.

vice versa for those guys also looking for a loyal wife....

 

[Abz2000]

Sometimes, unrestrained eagerness to please scares guys.
Same with girls.


Being oneself and letting it self-level is usually the best way to catch the correct culprit and shove him in your bag as you merrily whistle your way home - and its the coolest method.

Same with fish.

 

[Pure Purple]

Exactly,
The guy would have been wrong if he is giving her false hope.Sister already mentioned that he seems to be not interested.She should move on and not to to blame that guy.We can not force someone to like someone.
And just because he is not interested in her dose not mean she is lower to him in anyway.You can put yourself in his shoe .How would you feel if someone trying to please you and want to talk to you and you are not interested in him at all for whatever reason.How would you feel ? Wouldn't you feel irritated ?
Sister, move on and find someone who shows interest in you.

 

[Sunshineday]

You need to stop demeaning yourself. It's ridiculous of people who do stupid things, then they wish to pray to Allah to fix it-so here your disrespecting Allah. Why would Allah need to fix your wrong situation?? You shouldn't have been speaking to him in the first place without family.

It is not for Allah to make something good when it is obviously bad.

It wouldn't even be befitting for a donkey to carry this situation if it was turned into something tangible, let alone for anyone to sort out.

Stop disrespecting yourself, and everyone else for a stupid situation created clearly by immature people. If Allah was to sort out silly things, then Islam would have been stupid, actually the test in this world would be different, instead we would Quranic surahs saying if you have this problem with a future spouse read this- think this is how people who do black magic speak like.

Fear Allah and concentrate on passing the test for the life of the hereafter.

 

[xa_xa_ft]

I cant help how i feel about him. I dont even speak to him anymore and i dont chase either in the hope that he might start to like me. All i want is Allah to make him mine if hes good for me. I dont feel like speaking to anyone else and im getting older year by year. I feel really lost and confused. I am praying tahujjud and hope A miracle happens and he asks me for marriage.

 

[Pure Purple]

I cant help how i feel about him. I dont even speak to him anymore and i dont chase either in the hope that he might start to like me. All i want is Allah to make him mine if hes good for me. I dont feel like speaking to anyone else and im getting older year by year. I feel really lost and confused. I am praying tahujjud and hope A miracle happens and he asks me for marriage.

Sister you have already stopped talking to him slowly you will stop thinking about him.
Rember being in unhappy marriage is far more worst than being single. Maybe Allah swt has destined something better than him.

All i want is Allah to make him mine if hes good for me. I dont feel like speaking to anyone else and im getting older year by year.

You're getting older and you can't get over him?
Sister you will be ultimate looser if you loose these precious time. Once you loose this time it will never going to come back. Find someone else and get married.

 

[xa_xa_ft]

I cant forget about him and i hope that maybe allah will give me him? Am i not allowed to hope that?