I like the following to be considered - I'm just expecting people to already know, after having gone on dating sites etc, so when people ignore the first basic response from Muslims, distrust sets in.
1. The Prophets and other religious people were mature, and were not swayed by others who did not repent - they looked to what was best for them from Allah.
2. Mary, Mother of Prophet Jesus peace be upon him was visited by Archangel Gabriel- in the form of a perfect man -she did not desire him, but say to him to fear Allah incase he thought of an ill deed towards her. I'm not expecting this level from a lot of people, but consider the following points.
3. When boys are young, they are used to people looking at their "POTENTIAL" - with statements they may regularly hear, you could be like this etc. When they get older, they can no longer expect this as they now have to demonstrate their behaviour. So it is not for you to think of the "POTENTIAL" of someone who is clearly wrongdoer (by even asking a Muslim woman to just date him). If he cannot demonstrate doing the right thing-it isn't for you to fantasize one up and his behaviour.
4. Calipah Umar Ibn Al Khattab when he met someone, he listened to him and thought he was OK, but when he heard he didn't have a job, he didn't think highly of him. The advice for Men is if they can they should get married, now if they go on about their needs, then there is no excuse, they should then if they have the means to get married, if they haven't done so when they are capable then I don't trust them.
5. There are plenty of stories out there, and what you will end up is complaining about his lack of maturity, wishing he would just "step up", in turn as he has already disrespected you, he might call you bad names, as he thinks you are easy to for anyone else to be with. Leave him without any problems!!
6. What he is doing, is enjoying finding someone attracted to him, to be quite frank, he is not willing to get married to you, as he thinks he will be able to find someone better-look this statement up online and it is not hard to find -this is what males do. So, do not place yourself in a Beauty and the Beast type storyline of thinking you are going to have such an impact of someone, or they are going to be so besotted with you, and change their ways. How many females have failed, as they relied on someone to change. In the west, they think they need to have sex outside of marriage to keep their boyfriend, so he won't leave. The Governments already are aware that females in general are not good at looking after themselves-that is why they are passing so many laws -as in the west they have more choice, but they still do not make better choices of suitors and allow themselves to be treated badly. I'm not saying it is easy to leave a domestic violence situation-but saying initially they don't make the best choices -ignoring the warning signs.
7. People are immature and now females are taking it as a part of their relationship to help them with the pornography addiction, to be advised that we don't accept oral sex etc. In the Quran, Allah said that marriage is for BELIEVING MEN AND BELIEVING WOMEN not for those that are a little bit believing.
8. As above, you categorically need to look after yourself, a Muslim woman's job is to guard herself and when she is married to guard herself still -how can you do this when you are placing yourself in a difficult situation?? If this is the only way to get married-then why would anyone need to make a big deal of it?? As why should you demean yourself when others don't need to?? This world is only a test and you are worth more than that, there are plenty of situations that women have found themselves in and they look towards the hereafter. I hope that you do find someone-but this is not the way.
9. When you are clearly weaker in Islam-then you need to concentrate on yourself and not quote praying for others as the Prophets and other religious people are able to do-as they are not swayed by them. You only need to pray to Allah that you don't find yourself in this situation, remember people converted to Islam regardless of who they have left behind. Even Allah has taken the souls of females-whilst they go to Hell, their boyfriends are still in this world able to still repent and vice versa. So you should be indignant more of being placed in such a situation, when this person asked to meet on the pretence of marriage and now is playing around - a Man is willing to get married, to provide to have children with and look after you -he is doing none of those things. Stop thinking of him and even thinking about praying about him-he can do it himself (and again not for you to think of that level).
Remember Allah is Merciful , the Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him would never be accepting of your situation, the Calipah Umar Ibn Al-Khattab would have surely wacked him.:bump1: Is this not enough love that you already have -over what any immature person can provide-they know nothing of kindess or love, it is not then for you to look for their kindness or love. I don't spend that much time online and like to make information as readily as possible that anyone can benefit and no one is going to quote believing woman as your comparision, so it is natural for people to quote the extreme ends and this is what I have done in regards to those who do black magic.
Remember Allah much and remember so many people are not able to live how they want and are going through great difficulty.
