finding it very hard pleaseeeeeee helppppp

anonymous said:
thank you very much its is good advize may allah give you reward my brother

but i can tell you-this because i know-once you love someone its hard to let go just like that-love for one person stays in the heart as long as you live n sometimes a person is helpless like me n unfortunate they fall in love with someone who will not love back :(
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:salamext:

love before marriage is a delusion of the shaytaan, its a disease in the heart. Wallahi this is just a fitnah for you. Seek refuge in Allah and do what you know to be islamically best.
 
^ Well to some extent love b4 marraige is a delluison, because sometimes we can't ditinguish between loving someone and liking someone. it's like a line drawn on sand, you never know when you cross it and where it's taking you. Personally i think love is a very strong word to use for someone b4 marriage, as the true essence of love is far beyond understanding. Sometimes we can like someone so much that we think we are in love with them, but love is not one sided and if it's then it's not love.

(maybe this was a bit off the topic :X ) anyways anon sis i pray Allah makes things easier for you. InshAllah.:)
 
Mashallah brother...throughout this forum, u have gaind my respect...but i just have to say that sometimes, it is harder to do somethings than say it...

girls are very diffrent. they cant just say, "this is fitnah from shaytan...i must push all my feelings away and do what the Quran says..." well some can...but its hard when ur in it...even if its not love, it feels like it is to them and u cannot convince them that it is only 'like.'

the quran doesnt tell us not to love. it doesnt tell us not to love before marriage either. mother Khadijah loved our prophet before marriage, she asked him to marry her...this is seen again and again in our religion.

sis anons feeling are real...fitnah or no fitnah...she is in love...u may not know what that is or what it is like...it doesnt always have to be the lusty crap that goes around today.astaghfirullah, was mother khadijahs feelings haram? did she do anything improper or immodest?

let us stop telling sis anon to 'forget' him and her feelings, but work on how she can minimise the intensity of her feelings...for that she must start to think a lot more logically coz at the moment, her nefs is narrowing her perspective to her emotions and feelings only. we must help her open the door of logic and rationality which comes with our religion. islam is all about the balance between the two...

wasslam.
 
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i am trying my best to forget this guy but it is really hard-i think u understand-when u used to talk to the persn n laugh with them-to forget all of that or to move on-too hard
 
stop trying to forget before u have even taken action.try to marry him(in the ways i have defined prior) and then, try to forget...
 
Anonymous Tester said:
n what is tawakkul sistr?
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tawakkul is leaving it to Allah. Just letting him take the reigns and trusting in his wisdom and going with the flow...doing ur part as a creation of Allah...

of course this only comes after you have taken all ur precautions etc.
 
coz, if ur dad sees him as a kid, then maybe he is and u are rushing things.maybe u are too young. i dnt know.

is he at a marriable age?
 
Anonymous Tester said:
i is 18 n the guy is 16-please do not judge me on m age-i am not being proud but i am mature than most 18 yrs olds
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sis

he if he is 16, do u think he is competent enough to get married? do u really think he can carry a family? do u think he wants to give up his freinds and hsi soccer nights and his ps2 and his highschool to get married?
 
i do not want marry him yet-but in future-i know we made for 1another-i think ther is something ther in his feeling but i dont know wht it is?
 
please do not be put off by my tone.my intent is not to dieencourage u, but to merely assist u to thinking in a new light...
 
Anonymous Tester said:
but my mum alreadi has tld me i canot get married to him-my dad sees him as a kid-i duno wt else i can posiblee do?
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Sis i don't mean to ruin it for you, and beleive me i can understand you. But since your parents are against this and ur mum's said you can't get married to him, you should reconsider everything. I'm not saying forgett him, cuz it can't just happen by you saying it. And technically the people you try to forgett are the people you remember the most. So give urself some time, If you think you've tried your best, then leave it to Allah and trust his decision. Beleive me if Allah will this to happen and it's meant to be, it will regardless of what your parents say or however bad the situation looks.
 
i would still go on and do what i said earlier.but remember, sometimes, whne u love someone, even the smallest, stupidest things feel like signs of mutual feelings. are u sure that the vibes u get from him are authentic, or are they perscieved that way by u?

either way, you will find out when ur parents approach him.

do not alienate yourself from ur parents. they will always consider ur feelings...they know you..u are their daughter.they want what is best for u.sometimes they think narrow but its ur job to widen their approach with the way you convey yourself and ur proposal.
 
just let go yaar

its jus gna cause u more pain goin over wat uv been thru 2geda and wat could be

Besides u waaaaaaaaaay 2 young 2 be thinkin ofmariage anyways, and as 4 da guy he is a kid! Id NEVER marry any1 2 DAYS younger then me let alone 2 YEARS!!

Out there is sum1 hu IS ryt 4 u, i know u fink hes the 1 but believ u me its jus A PHASE u goin thru EVERY1 goes thru it

leave it 2 Allah(swt) 4 after all Allah (swt) knows best

I pray that you have a bright future with some1 hu will make u happy Ameeeeeeeen x
 

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