forced to wear hijab

Hi sister !

Thank you for that reminder. Sometimes I don't know some limits. Much appreciated :)
 
JazakAllah khayr sister herb.

This thread has died out it seems. Alhamdulillah.
 
Umar Ibn Farooq said:
If you meant that you support them politically and Islamically, then you indeed disbelieved in Allah and the messenger.

Tribalism is no exception in Islam.
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Who I support or what I support is none of your concern. I live in a secular country and I abide by their laws. I love both Egypt and the UK, both are amazing in their own ways :) Like any country they may also have their bad parts.
 
:salamext:

Contrary to my previous posts, I just wanted to say that Hijaab is a beautiful thing, and :ia: once you start wearing it, you feel like you are naked without it x
 
Assalaamu alaikum Forced,

(sigh) I'm not sure what has happened between you and your intended. I do hope that you can sort things out.

However, it seems to me that there is a miscommunication going on. If I understand correctly, you have a deep wish to have that one-in-a-lifetime Big Day where you will be the most beautiful you will ever be. Dressed in beautiful clothes, in henna and with gorgeous jewelry. (smile) A princess for a day. A day to remember.

Your intended, though, is perhaps worried about other men seeing you at your most gorgeous. I wonder if he feels that of all days, this is the one he most wants you not to be seen (I don'y know for sure, though. I'm trying to see things through his eyes). (mildly) His reputation as a man who takes his faith seriously may also be a factor in his feelings.

When Bhabha suggested a segregated wedding, she hit on a good solution: you can be gorgeous and seen by all the women (who are the ones who notice the jewelry, henna and clothes most, anyway). And you would not be seen by the men.

However (if I have understood correctly), your problem is that the families involved in organizing and paying for the wedding (in Pakistan, who does pay, BTW?), do not perhaps want a segregated wedding. They want a big party that they feel is socially fitting.

So... might I suggest a compromise? Perhaps you could do a pre-ceremony party, for women only? You get to be the gorgeous Princess for the day. And then, for the official ceremonies, you dress in a simple and modest way, (twinkle) knowing that all the ladies know how beautiful you are... The contrast would, I think, be rather striking, and would instil in everyone the understanding that Islam is important for you and your husband. (smile) You'd be able to show that you are, indeed, physically beautiful, but that you choose to emphasize your inner beauty.

(twinkle) And then, when you will go to live with your husband after completing your studies, you could get out the beautiful clothes and get the henna and jewelry... just for him.

Yes, this will add some cost. But would it be unreasonable? Starting a marriage off with good feelings all around is important.


May Allah, the Sovereign, Help us to look outside of the usual boxes to find solutions that are Pleasing to Him.
 
Alhamdulillah I've resolved to wear the hijab :) even at my wedding occasions.
May Allah bless all the brothers and sisters who encouraged me and helped me out :)
 
crimsontide06 said:
You should want to wear hijab because you want to please Allah and obey him...

Being forced to wear it defeats the purpose. There is a difference between encouraging someone/trying to help someone change/do something, and forcing someone to do something that is not in their heart.
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How exactly does it please Allah for a woman to wear a hijab? I understand that modesty is a big principle in Islam, but I don't understand how it pleases Allah directly for women to cover up like that.
 
:salamext:

Good decision sis. We don't even know half the evil we are protected from by following Allahs commands. Women love to look beautiful and a lot of times complete with each other in this. Even if it's not against Islam to look beautiful amongst women only, it's wiser to save this for your husband only, esp when so many jealous and evil eyes around today. May Allah bless your marriage.
 
MorbidEntree said:
How exactly does it please Allah for a woman to wear a hijab? I understand that modesty is a big principle in Islam, but I don't understand how it pleases Allah directly for women to cover up like that.
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Because the hijab was legislated by Allah and it pleases Him when we adhere to His legislations. He is our Creator and we are accountable to Him.
 
Alhamdulillah sis, that is amazing news. May Allah swt bless your marriage. Proud of you for making this decision, I know it wasn't easy, x :)
 
MuslimInshallah said:
Assalaamu alaikum Forced,

(sigh) I'm not sure what has happened between you and your intended. I do hope that you can sort things out.

However, it seems to me that there is a miscommunication going on. If I understand correctly, you have a deep wish to have that one-in-a-lifetime Big Day where you will be the most beautiful you will ever be. Dressed in beautiful clothes, in henna and with gorgeous jewelry. (smile) A princess for a day. A day to remember.

Your intended, though, is perhaps worried about other men seeing you at your most gorgeous. I wonder if he feels that of all days, this is the one he most wants you not to be seen (I don'y know for sure, though. I'm trying to see things through his eyes). (mildly) His reputation as a man who takes his faith seriously may also be a factor in his feelings.

When Bhabha suggested a segregated wedding, she hit on a good solution: you can be gorgeous and seen by all the women (who are the ones who notice the jewelry, henna and clothes most, anyway). And you would not be seen by the men.

However (if I have understood correctly), your problem is that the families involved in organizing and paying for the wedding (in Pakistan, who does pay, BTW?), do not perhaps want a segregated wedding. They want a big party that they feel is socially fitting.

So... might I suggest a compromise? Perhaps you could do a pre-ceremony party, for women only? You get to be the gorgeous Princess for the day. And then, for the official ceremonies, you dress in a simple and modest way, (twinkle) knowing that all the ladies know how beautiful you are... The contrast would, I think, be rather striking, and would instil in everyone the understanding that Islam is important for you and your husband. (smile) You'd be able to show that you are, indeed, physically beautiful, but that you choose to emphasize your inner beauty.

(twinkle) And then, when you will go to live with your husband after completing your studies, you could get out the beautiful clothes and get the henna and jewelry... just for him.

Yes, this will add some cost. But would it be unreasonable? Starting a marriage off with good feelings all around is important.


May Allah, the Sovereign, Help us to look outside of the usual boxes to find solutions that are Pleasing to Him.
Click to expand...

U got everything correct. Regarding him being strong in his faith. And segregated wedding not being possible etc etc. U understood my situation quite well.

There's one thing I've always believed in. That the best wedding acc to our religion is the one which is simple. And with the least expenses. And that's how I've always wanted it :) that's why I don't want two occasions :) nice suggestion though.
Secondly there's a reason why we're not supposed to show our hair, cuz it increases our beauty. And so we should save it for our husbands. And not show other men as it attracts them. That was my only difference with him. I wanted to show my hair. And look pretty :)
 
MorbidEntree said:
How exactly does it please Allah for a woman to wear a hijab? I understand that modesty is a big principle in Islam, but I don't understand how it pleases Allah directly for women to cover up like that.
Click to expand...

A woman and a man who are both modest, pious and courteous to each other is a pleasing sight. It means there is respect and even thought we can have wandering eyes, by being modest in the way we carry ourselves as the hijab is not just the physical covering, but the way a person behaves in general, we can all help each other to avoid indecency.

Hijab is the physical covering, the way a person behaves and also the inner thoughts and intentions by which the person does everything around them. If a person covers themselves physically, but is rude, speaks horribly, looks down on people and for example wears a ton of make up or a huge amount of perfume such that everyone can smell them. They are not in hijab, they have just covered themselves but are not in "hijab".

So people forget that it is a whole system. To be kind, to be just, fair, decent, and to cover yourself as you would cover a precious gem, or cover your lungs from inhaling toxic fumes.
 
being_forced said:
U got everything correct. Regarding him being strong in his faith. And segregated wedding not being possible etc etc. U understood my situation quite well.

There's one thing I've always believed in. That the best wedding acc to our religion is the one which is simple. And with the least expenses. And that's how I've always wanted it :) that's why I don't want two occasions :) nice suggestion though.
Secondly there's a reason why we're not supposed to show our hair, cuz it increases our beauty. And so we should save it for our husbands. And not show other men as it attracts them. That was my only difference with him. I wanted to show my hair. And look pretty :)
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Salam sister! I am very happy that you made thos decision. And also you sre right in that the woman seems very attractive with her hair. And this beauty is something that she wants to protect for her husband :) and same is the case with men that men are supoosed and told to beautify themselves for the wife. I know of a practicing couple the husband removed even all his pics from social media because his wife did not like his husband to show his beauty of post his handsome pics on social media. Even before marriage they agreed on it. But really this is an amazing relation to have between spouses:statisfie. Subhallah
 
being_forced said:
My fiance is forcing me to wear the hijab. His forcefulness is making me hate it. He wants me to wear the hijab everywhere. Even at our wedding ceremonies. He is a very nice man. But this forcefulness is making me very frustrated. I have started answering him back because i'm not happy from the inside. I'm ready to wear it in my daily routine. Just want to take it off occasionally. I know it's wrong. But i want to. I'm not happy this way. I keep fighting with him. It's really impacting out relationship. I don't know what to do. imsad:(:Emoji10:
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Asalam alaykum warahmatullahi wabarakatuhu sis

I would just like to point out that hijab is a fard upon the believing women, so in a way he is actually doing the right thing by telling you to wear it..
Did he know before you married that you didnt wear/ or like it? Did he just suddenly tell you that you must cover ?
what is it about the hijab you dont like ? have you expressed why exactly you feel this way towards it and whats stopping you from wearing hijab ?

Maybe if you explain it to us, in sha Allah we can help you and more understand your point of view on this matter ?
 
muslimah_B said:
Asalam alaykum warahmatullahi wabarakatuhu sis

I would just like to point out that hijab is a fard upon the believing women, so in a way he is actually doing the right thing by telling you to wear it..
Did he know before you married that you didnt wear/ or like it? Did he just suddenly tell you that you must cover ?
what is it about the hijab you dont like ? have you expressed why exactly you feel this way towards it and whats stopping you from wearing hijab ?

Maybe if you explain it to us, in sha Allah we can help you and more understand your point of view on this matter ?
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I think she explained it at the start. She is not married yet. They are just engaged. She wanted to take her time to wear it and she was learning more about it. But now she has made her decision to wear it :)
 
s.ali123 said:
I think she explained it at the start. She is not married yet. They are just engaged. She wanted to take her time to wear it and she was learning more about it. But now she has made her decision to wear it :)
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Oh whoopsy, it never showed all those other posts untill now lol...ignore what i wrote lol
 

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