Forgiveness? How do people learn then?

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Studentofdeed

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To what extent should one keep forgiving? If you forgive someone and they keep stealing your money and not give it back does that mean if you keep forgiving the money they have is halal. What if I forgive someone for the money they stole but they have no intention of giving it back. If you forgive someone for harming you, but they never asked for it in the first place or even care, does Allah still forgive them? Then how does the person even learn their lesson especially if they are still arrogant.
 
Well, there’s forgiving someone and then there’s being taken advantage of. If someone continually harms you after you forgive them, you need to start giving them ultimatums. Its also encouraged to forgive others even if they don’t ask for forgiveness.
 
I told the guy I forgave him and asked him when is going to pay me back. The problem is the guy seems wealthy enough and his family drive nice cars mashallah and they do not seem to be in poor conditions. So he really is capable of paying back. He even has a job but everytime changes his story and tells me something else. When I asked him, the guy didnt even remember how much he took from me. I told him you have to pay me back still. If I keep forgiving him, he will never learn his lesson. This is where I get annoyed. I know from the hadith that who ever forgives debts , his major sins will be forgiven. So i did forgive him but i still asked him to pay me back. He swore on the quran that he will pay me back. Now he disappeared again. Forgiving him again yes is good for me, but what about all the people he may scam and may make fool out them. He will never learn his lesson and harm others. This is where I annoyed. If I do not forgive him this time , then do I lose the reward for forgiving him previously? If people keep forgiving a thief then how can he be held accountable?
 
Okay I seriously need advice on this because in this mosque people are intentionally provoking me and then they come asking for forgiveness. They say if you dont forigve it's a sin. I'm studying in the mosque and the imam kids are intentionally misbehaving. His son mades me step in dog poop and then when I'm studying he throws a water bottle at my laptop. Of course I can keep forgiving but I'm frustrated that everytime I bring an issue to the imam, he is complacent and sweeps it under the rug. So I no longer even tell the imam anything. When I tell his son, dontt do these things as it's bad, he says it's okay for him to do these things because he is young. Then he comes smiling in , while laughing saying do you forgive me. So I have decided not to go to mosque because its having an effect on my mental health. I forgive them all but I need time off otherwise I will cause fitna myself because i will lose my temper. If I keep forgiving them, they are making a mockery of me and never learn their lesson.
 
Studentofdeed said:
Okay I seriously need advice on this because in this mosque people are intentionally provoking me and then they come asking for forgiveness. They say if you dont forigve it's a sin. I'm studying in the mosque and the imam kids are intentionally misbehaving. His son mades me step in dog poop and then when I'm studying he throws a water bottle at my laptop. Of course I can keep forgiving but I'm frustrated that everytime I bring an issue to the imam, he is complacent and sweeps it under the rug. So I no longer even tell the imam anything. When I tell his son, dontt do these things as it's bad, he says it's okay for him to do these things because he is young. Then he comes smiling in , while laughing saying do you forgive me. So I have decided not to go to mosque because its having an effect on my mental health. I forgive them all but I need time off otherwise I will cause fitna myself because i will lose my temper. If I keep forgiving them, they are making a mockery of me and never learn their lesson.
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if the son of your masjid's imam thinks its okay to mock people just because he is young, then it's the imam's fault. He should teach him to not do this. the part "stepping on dog poop" is just too much. Boys becomes accountable when he hits puburty age. I think 11-14 years age is probably puburty age, but it all depends on people's body. Allah knows best, you should go to another mosque instead. If the son comes to you, tell him this hadith

Abdullah ibn Amr reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Whoever does not show mercy to our young ones, or acknowledge the rights of our elders, is not one of us.”
Source: Musnad Aḥmad 7033
Grade: Sahih (authentic) according to Ahmad Shakir.

even if he is not accountable, this may help him and change his behaviour.

JazakAllah
 
I forgave them because they are young but I'm upset I'm not taken seriously. I'm easily manipulated and they know that. They also know I want to get married, so the people constantly throw marriage jokes at me which is like salt to my wounds. Yet they are discouraging others to marry because it will distract them from their studies. Yet they do not care and actually want me to fail so I stay forever.
 

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