Forgiveness in Islam

[Calmate]

Salaam,

I know that forgiveness in Islam is a huge thing. We all must forgive each other. But to forgive another person can be really hard.

Example: how can i forgive someone that killed my beloved one, raped one of my child, abuse, etc... I understand that Allah s.w.t can forgive every sin but that person must ask for forgiveness.

If i dont forgive someone i am sinning? What if i say i let the thing what happend over to Allah s.w.t? What if i forgive someone means that Allah forgive him to?

I hope you can answer my questions.

Wa salaam,

 

[Ümit]

Salaam,

I know that forgiveness in Islam is a huge thing. We all must forgive each other. But to forgive another person can be really hard.

Example: how can i forgive someone that killed my beloved one, raped one of my child, abuse, etc... I understand that Allah s.w.t can forgive every sin but that person must ask for forgiveness.

If i dont forgive someone i am sinning? What if i say i let the thing what happend over to Allah s.w.t? What if i forgive someone means that Allah forgive him to?

I hope you can answer my questions.

Wa salaam,

Forgiveness is a huge thing in Islam...but it is voluntarily...you do not have to forgive...you have several options here:
either you do not forgive...in that case you will recieve only so much with equal value of the caused damage...
or you forgive...and you will recieve a much much greater reward.

on the opponent side:
also several options:
Allah will not forgive him as long as you do not forgive
if you did choose the forgive him, than Allah will forgive him too only if he truely repents.

to be clear...you are NOT sinning if you do not forgive of course...some things cannot be forgiven even if you wanted to....but then in that case, you will miss out the huge reward you would get if you did forgive.

 

[Calmate]

Thank you for answering.

I have the feeling if you forgive another all the time you will become weak. There are many people who will take advantage of, also in relationships.

 

[Ümit]

Thank you for answering.

I have the feeling if you forgive another all the time you will become weak. There are many people who will take advantage of, also in relationships.

on the contrary...weak people are not able to forgive...you have to be a very strong person if you can forgive.
of course this does not mean that you have to forgive everything.
look at the person in front of you...if you can obviously see that that person really feels sorry, then you can forgive...of course you will not choose to forgive if that person shows no sign of regret or whatsoever.

 

[Eric H]

Greetings and peace be with you Calmate;

I know that forgiveness in Islam is a huge thing. We all must forgive each other. But to forgive another person can be really hard.

I believe it is even harder to hang onto the burden of anger, when you cannot get justice.

From personal experience, I have learned it is the same to forgive someone, whether they just stole £10 from you, or they are responsible for the death of a loved one. What is different is the grief, and I explain it like this…

If I lost £10 through my own fault, I would moan about it, but it would not cause me too much grief and I would get over it. If one of my children died from natural causes like a heart attack, I would have to learn to carry that grief with me until I died.

If I found out that someone had stolen my £10, or was responsible for the death of my child, then forgiveness; grief and the need for justice, get all mixed in together.


I have found that the person who is able to forgive, probably benefits far more than the person who has been forgiven.


I believe it is better to forgive and let go of any burdens, even if the person does not say sorry.

Just because you forgive someone, that is not the same as giving them permission to do the same again. It does not make you a doormat, being able to forgive brings you a profound sense of peace, because you do not have to carry the burden of anger.

If you look at the 99 names of Allah, the forgiver is mentioned three times.

Just my 2c, feel free to disagree.

In the spirit of praying to a just and merciful God

Eric

 

[ChosenTCO]

Salaam,

I know that forgiveness in Islam is a huge thing. We all must forgive each other. But to forgive another person can be really hard.

Example: how can i forgive someone that killed my beloved one, raped one of my child, abuse, etc... I understand that Allah s.w.t can forgive every sin but that person must ask for forgiveness.

If i dont forgive someone i am sinning? What if i say i let the thing what happend over to Allah s.w.t? What if i forgive someone means that Allah forgive him to?

I hope you can answer my questions.

Wa salaam,

First off, you must know that Allah has the power to forgive that which is between him and his slaves (with the exception of Shirk[polytheism]). But when it comes to that which is between his slaves and each other, that will remain between them. In other words, based on what i understand and was taught, Allah will not intervene and forgive on behalf of those whom have been afflicted with injustice in this dunya on the day of judgement. If you decide to seek justice (by god's will) upon those who did injustice to you, Allah will grant you your request and you will receive justice. However, some people say that at that time, Allah will offer to raise you in statues in turn forgive those who caused you this injustice, and at that time, our main concern will most definitely be about our status in the akhira and not payback.

With regards to lack of forgiveness being a sin. No it is not considered a sin and it is a perfectly normal response to feel zero forgiveness/remorse towards people who cause you such great injustice. Its just that Allah has highly praised those who are capable of forgiveness towards those whom caused them injustice. [Quran 3:133-4] And hasten to forgiveness from your Lord and a garden as wide as the heavens and earth, prepared for the righteous {133} Who spend [in the cause of Allah ] during ease and hardship and who restrain anger and who pardon the people - and Allah loves the doers of good; {134}
I recall once hearing a story about the Prophet (PBUH). One of his beloved uncles died in one of the battles by the hands of a person called Wahshi Ibn Harb. Later on this man became a muslim but the prophet never fully from that fact that he was the one who killed his uncle and would be often reluctant to let him sit in the same gathering where the Prophet was. ... Im not 100% sure about this story so if anyone knows more about this, feel free to correct me if im wrong.

Point is, lack of remorse or forgiveness is not considered a sin or anything in islam. However, islam does highly encourage us to forgive those who have wronged us and let them be. The prophet was considered to be the best in behavior and self discipline because when anybody wronged him, he wouldnt just forgive them, he would actually retaliate in kindness and leniency. [Quran 68:4] And indeed, you are of a great moral character.

Lastly, whenever you get afflicted with injustice or a trial, always remember to say these duas:

1. Injustice->حسبنا
   الله ونعم الوكيل = ​
   Allah suffices me, for He is the best disposer of affairs [[PS you can also read Surat YASEEN against those who caused you injustice]]
2. Hardship->إنا إلى الله و إنا إليه راجعون = We are to God, and to him we shall return.
3. Hardship->لا حول ولا قوة الا بالله =There is no power or strength except from Allah .

Also before going out of your home remember to say this dua:
اللهم أعوذ بك أن أَضِلَّ أو أُضَلَّ، أو أَزِل أو أُزَل، أو أَظلِم أو أُظلَم، أو أَجهَل أو يُجهَل علي = O Allah! I seek refuge in Thee lest I stray or be led astray, or slip or made to slip, or cause injustice, or suffer injustice, or do wrong, or have wrong done to me

hope this helps brother.