Foster Parenting

  • Thread starter Thread starter Pure
  • Start date Start date
  • Replies Replies 37
  • Views Views 5K
Daffodil said:
how is that the fault of ppl who choose to have children?

if ur concerned about the environment then switch ur heating off, buy a bike n sell ur car, dnt use any electricity or gas, be self sufficient, ie grow ur own food n live in a box some where.
Click to expand...
I am doing what I can to help out the environment. However, I feel it is irresponsible for people to have several children, unless like I mentioned, they have a farm or similar. SUV's- made for people with many children. We should all do our part in helping save the limited resources we have left. If people want so many children, they should adopt instead of adding to the problem. I am not saying people should not have children, but rather not have any more than 3.
 
Having a lot of children is fine but some people need to be more responsible for their reproductive choices. MLSH27 makes some valid points which I never thought about before.

My husband and I have seven kids between us, ages 4-37. I don't think this is wrong because we have always completely supported them financially and emotionally.
 
Daffodil said:
Sis u dnt need to condem ppl for wanting to have more children, its up to them how many babies they want, its their right Allah swt has given them and something the prophet saw encouraged. I know u have ur own views on childbirth n pregnancy like u mentioned in the sisters section but just because of ur own reasons as to why u think its gross doesnt mean having children is wrong or that its something bad.
Click to expand...

Did the prophet explain why he encouraged people to have a lot of children?

Would this approval for many children still apply today?


What are the reasons why some muslims want to have a lot of children today?
 
It is in the parents hands to choose whether they wish to have more or less children. Children are a blessing from Allah, they should all feel welcome. Look at those parents who are unable to have children, it destroys them inside and out and are wlling to make risky decisions at high costs to have a biological child of their own. This is an example of how a child is a blessing from Allah, because life and death is in his hands.

Yes, children are a parents responsibility, they must make the right choices in order that they grow in a healty environment. If they know that they are unable to support a certain amount of children, they should take the necessary precautions. If a child is born anyway, the child deserves to live.
 
Do u know if a single person..ie me...a sister is able to foster children...with regardz to Islam???
 
searchingsoul said:
Having a lot of children is fine but some people need to be more responsible for their reproductive choices. MLSH27 makes some valid points which I never thought about before.

My husband and I have seven kids between us, ages 4-37. I don't think this is wrong because we have always completely supported them financially and emotionally.
Click to expand...

No offense, but what is the point to having so many children? Why did you?
 
Pure said:
It is in the parents hands to choose whether they wish to have more or less children. Children are a blessing from Allah, they should all feel welcome. Look at those parents who are unable to have children, it destroys them inside and out and are wlling to make risky decisions at high costs to have a biological child of their own. This is an example of how a child is a blessing from Allah, because life and death is in his hands.

Yes, children are a parents responsibility, they must make the right choices in order that they grow in a healty environment. If they know that they are unable to support a certain amount of children, they should take the necessary precautions. If a child is born anyway, the child deserves to live.
Click to expand...

Sometimes I am sickened at the lengths infertile couple go just to have a biological child when there are many that need to be adopted. Is it that important that they share your blood? Seems selfish to me...
 
mlsh27 said:
No offense, but what is the point to having so many children? Why did you?
Click to expand...

I have four biological children and three step children. I had them because I love children. I know it is purely selfish reasons.

I thought of some more reasons:
*I'm sure small children made my husband feel more youthful and gives him reason to boast of his manhood.
*It enabled me to remain a stay at home mother. I hate working outside the home.
*I feel womanly when pregnant. I also get to use the excuse of moodiness to get my way all the time.
*Pregnancy makes my weight fluctuate so shopping sprees on my wardrobe are never questioned

First and foremost, I really love children and being a mother.
 
Last edited:
mlsh27 said:
Sometimes I am sickened at the lengths infertile couple go just to have a biological child when there are many that need to be adopted. Is it that important that they share your blood? Seems selfish to me...
Click to expand...

I thought so too, until I became a parent. I don't know if I would be able to love an adopted child as much as I love my own. The affection I have for my step-children is in no way comparable to that I have for my biological children. In fact, I don't think that I love my step-children. Maybe if I had known them when they were children I would have. Dunno.

I am also thinking that an adopted child wouldn't feel worthy in an Islamic family. Islam doesn't allow adopted children to adopt the family name, or share in inheritance rights. Personally, if I was forbidden these things, I'd feel like less of a family member. My husband adopted our oldest son, who is from my first marriage. Although the purpose of my Islamic research is to share it with our children, I'd NEVER share this with my son, until he was an adult.

Maybe this Islamic practice is okay and my family is too sensitive. I don't know, and I don't want to know.
 
Last edited:
Anyone know if a single person can adopt or foster children??
 
Yeah...i didnt ask why should anything, I asked Islamcally is it allowed??
 
The question should be.. is it not allowed?

There is nothing that I know of that makes it not allowed.. but it is always better to have both a male and female figure in a child's life.
 
:sl:

Zoreena, theres nothing wrong with islamically fostering a child as a single woman, although it would proabably be easier all round if you fostered a girl, because a young male (if not breastfeed by you from infancy) will not be your maraham, so when he hits puberty, you have to cover up from one another.

also, theres always sponserships that you can do, which wouldnt involve you looking after the child, but paying things like food, education and clothes for them- male or female, and this in itself is a great reward!

Anyways, i'd love to permanatly foster a child (the islamic way) and if i was pregnant, i'd try to find a small child that would be still young enough to be breast fed, along with my own, that way, the child would be maraham to any kids i have inshallah and husband.

oh by the way, for a non bioligcal child to be your maharm, in the case of permant fostering, do you have to phyiscally breastfeed the child or is okay to just express the milk and get the child to drink the breast milk it in a bottle?
 
I sister I knw of in our local masjid has been fostering kids as far as I remember having hair on my head:D I beleive one of her fostered girl is mentally challenged yet she is suga plum masha'allah she hugs me so tight every time i see her. I thank Allah for granting the tawfiq to keep the children in their deen of haqq. and protecting them from the false ideologies of western household. masha'Allah she has fostered about 4 kids now..couple of fridays ago she adopted a 10 days old baby....awwwwwwwwww i mean i gotted to hold the baby's hand. masha'Allah tabarakallah:sister: :D

ohhhhhhhhh as for adopting some kids myself? I dont think I got the guts to take care of myself yet. lol.
 
mlsh27 said:
Sometimes I am sickened at the lengths infertile couple go just to have a biological child when there are many that need to be adopted. Is it that important that they share your blood? Seems selfish to me...
Click to expand...

Adopted children have Islamic boundaries that you should observe when they reach puberty. They are not our blood relatives and the fiqh of relationships between men and women apply.

While I applaud your concern about adoptable children, not all of us are emotionally equipped to take care of other people children as our own. Unless you are an adoptive parent, I humbly suggest that you re evaluate your stand and try to understand biological parents' point of view.

You have to remember that nothing can replace a biological parent. As a foster parent myself, I can't out love my foster son's real dad. It stinks, but that's how it is. Many times, I think, I'm the one providing the care, the tarbiyah and fulfilling my foster child's need but sometimes he would say he misses his dad and tells me that he loves his dad more than anything in the world. It breaks my heart but I have to accept that blood is thicker than water.

Pregnancy in human being is an emotional and psychological experience for both parents. Only a pregnant woman can attest to this fact. Allah has even used the love of a mother for her child as a gauge to proclaim, that His love for his servants is more than the love of a mother for her child.

Allah has made His servants with certain specialty and skills and not everyone may have children of their own. These parents may choose to adopt but with full knowledge of the emotional setback and tribulation down the road.

Sometimes I wonder, some people have a lot of children but are very careless and have a lackadaisical attitude towards the proper upbringing of the child. They physically and emotionally abuse their children and their children end up being traumatized for life. These children when end up in foster care and orphanage need specialized care and skill that may be acquired by proper training of the prospective parents. Unsurprisingly, not many people could handle the patience needed and the emotional instability shown by these kids.

Biological parents must concede that every child is unique and there's no such thing as cookie cutter way to raise a child. Only then you will see muslim family thrives as a unit to worship Allah and adhere to the sunnah.

Otherwise, you could be right, children will be left spiritually empty and the vicious cycle of emotional abandonment resumes itself.

Peace.
 

Similar Threads

Back
Top