brothers and sisters,Okay, so I'm still in my teenage years and you know how the saying goes "its the rebel years" etc... I must admit I'm a complete rebel. I can't help but blame some of my rebeliousness because of my parents (Sound familiar?), My parents are the very typical asians who seem to think that culture IS religion. Some of their thinking is so culturally based it makes me sick. I slowly began to lose my faith and began to rebel.
About a year ago, I met this brother. We got talking. It was innocent at first, but then we both started to take a liking to each other and eventually it turned into something more serious. We started planning our future together.
Here's the crux. We decided to meet up since we only lived about an hour away from each other. Things were going good, until we both got a bit carried away towards the end of it which lets just say seemed pleasurable at the time but now I’m ashamed to even mention it. :embarrass
Weeks past after our little meeting. We were still getting on great and were planning to meet again soon. Suddenly, out of the blue one night my sister (who is very different from the rest of the family, if it wasn’t for her I would have completely lost my faith, she has a very strong deen mashallah) comes home and says that her friend had seen me with a guy etc. I had been caught. Her friend had explained to her that she was 100% sure that it was me and even had pictures to prove it. I had to confess. We had a long chat and my sister believed that I was truly sorry and should pray for forgiveness because we all deserve a second chance.
Now the amazing thing about this is, her friend (who saw me) was in that area for the first time and only saw me when we decided to *ahem*. Coincidence? My sister explained to me that it was a sign from Allah and that me getting caught was a good thing because what I was doing was wrong and He wanted to save me from further sin.
She really did open my eyes. She advised me that I break all ties with him and turn over a new leaf. I’m heartbroken.
I told him and he agreed that us getting caught was Allah’s doing and that he was ashamed too, but he didn’t want to let go. We’d made so many plans together for the future and it’s all going down the drain. I simply can’t let go. I’m not crazy over him like some sort of lust, but I really do believe he is the one for me. What should I do? I really do want to marry him, but I know my parents would never allow it, imsad for them marrying somebody who is not in the same cast is out of the question, it would be shameful. (…see what I mean?) I admit what I did was wrong, but is there anyway way that I could get on with my life yet still have a chance of spending the rest of my life with him? Is cutting all contact with him really the best thing to do?
Sorry for the long post, I really would appreciate it if you could share your views
Jazakallah Hair.
Sis, pray istkahara and make lots of dua (you're in my duas). If you think the best solution is to get married to him, then have a sheikh come and talk to your parents and tell them that it's wrong for them to refuse him for you because he's from a different ''cast'' subhanallah. You should also get a brother to talk to him, and not you directly, and you should relay messages through him. If you really believe that you love him and could see yourself spending the rest of your lives together, then I would get married to him inshaAllah.
